


Icarus

by Vizhi0n



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gore, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Infinity War spoilers, Post Infinity War, References to Depression, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-05-20 19:16:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 53,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14900427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vizhi0n/pseuds/Vizhi0n
Summary: There's a monster in my kitchen.





	1. They're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> WAZZZUPPP so uh. I'm back with another Thanos fic. This one will probably be...longer. It's basically just a shameless self-insert set after Infinity War. I hope ya'll enjoy it ;)

“What are you staring at?”

It was like something out of a comedy movie, I was pretty sure. I was staring at him, and he was staring at me. Eyes locked on one another, my hand outstretched, frozen in place. The ravioli I was making continued to boil on the stove, while I stirred the sauce in an adjacent pot. 

Ten seconds earlier, the massive, purple, humanoid beast had emerged from some sort of subspace and landed, hard, on my dining room floor. He’d let out a harsh grunt, before falling silent at the sight of me. 

Again, “What are you staring at?” 

“You.”

The creature grunted. My gaze immediately flitted to the large, deep dash in the center of his chest, as if it had been inflicted by an axe. A big axe. The front of his tunic was drenched in blood, and the patch was spreading. Very slowly I turned off the stove. 

“I….can I help you?” I added cautiously. “You look like...you need help.”

He ignored me, glancing around, realizing just exactly where he was. He let out a hiss of pain, rising to his feet, revealing the mangled, slightly smoking...glove? Gauntlet  - on his right hand. I didn’t question it, I didn’t question anything - he got about five feet before he collapsed against the wall, seemingly too injured to move. 

_ Shit. _

“Uh, shit,” I panicked. “Shit, shit, shit.”

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

_ Do something! _

I left the kitchen, nearly tripping over my own feet as I made my way to my room. I grabbed a towel, and on my way back, I actually did trip - I managed to scramble to my feet and half fall, half slide across the hardwood and back into the kitchen. 

“Put this on the wound,” I instructed shakily, hesitating to do it myself. The creature nodded, and actually obeyed - I was shocked. The look he gave me was one of understanding, and something else - gratitude? “I’ll...call an ambulance-”

“Unwise.”

“Why?” 

The creature shifted, pressing the towel harder against his chest. “Your doctors would not know how to treat me. Beside, your medicine is far too primitive, anyway. I will deal with this myself. Your.. _.assistance _ is appreciated.”

“That’s...a lot of blood-”

“I will be fine. Now leave me.”

I shakily rose to my feet, backing away until my hip bumped the edge of the kitchen bar. I was halfway across the room before I realized something.

“Wait. This is my house. I can’t leave.”

The creature sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a long pause, he beckoned me to come over. I moved slower, this time, trying not to get too close. He was really big and really, really muscular. Even injured, I had a feeling that he could kill me, snap my throat with ease. 

Sensing my nervousness, he said, “I will not harm you.”

I gulped and finally mustered enough courage to kneel before him. I made a mental note - the stainless steel knife set was across the room, on the counter. I didn’t know how fast this guy could run, but I was small and slender and nimble. If he lunged, I could get out of the way -

“What do they call you, little terran?”

The creature’s free hand, the one brandishing the gauntlet, gently grazed my cheek. 

“Rachel. What about you?” 

“Thanos.”

“Thanos,” I repeated the name, letting it roll off my tongue. “It’s a, uh, pleasure to meet you. Welcome to my abode.”

Thanos stared. Then he groaned, inching up the wall until he was standing, hunched over, panting. He still clutched the towel I’d given him to his chest, stemming the flow of blood. “Your attitude is alarming me.”

“What? I’m trying to be, uh friendly.”

“Is it fear that compels you to be so friendly?”

“I mean, yeah. Fear and good ole’ southern hospitality. I got that shit beat into me as a child. Never be rude to a stranger. Even if they….teleport into your house while you’re cooking ravioli - speaking of, you ever had ravioli? Shrimp ravioli? I made enough for, like, five people-”

Thanos’ eyes flitted to the door. I caught the movement and added, “Or you can leave. Maybe go to a hospital….seriously, I know you think us humans don’t know what we’re doing, but...they can help you better than I can-”

He brushed past me, disappearing into the living room. I heard a loud groan, followed by the sound of the couch creaking. I poked my head around the corner, watching as the massive creature reclined on my furniture. His eyes were closed, breathing labored.

I watched him for a moment, before awkwardly shuffling across the room so I could grab the remote and flick on the television - behind me, Thanos began to lightly snore. When I looked over, the gauntlet on his hand was glowing ever so slightly, and I could see various scratches and cuts across his body begin to heal. 

_ Holy shit. _

When I turned back to the television and flipped to the news, my internal thought escaped me and became audible. 

_ “Holy shit.” _

* * *

My entire body felt numb as I continued to stir the pot of ravioli, having added just a tad bit more for him - Thanos - whatever the hell he was. He was still dozing on my couch, and I’d mustered the courage to take a slight peek at his wound. It had healed, now only a jagged, bright red scar that I’m sure didn’t feel all too pleasant.

_ 50% of the human race, wiped out. _

_ And conveniently, this guy shows up right as its happening. _

My hands were shaking. I nearly leaped out of my skin when I heard the couch creak once more, and Thanos give an ragged cough. My back was too him, and I could hear the news reporters drone on and on, most panicking, most stumbling over their words as they assessed the situation. I caught snippets.

_ Riots. Decimation. The President, gone. Thousands dead from car crashes, plane crashes, boat crashes. _

_ You’re safe out here. In the country. You’re far away from anyone, really.  _

Thanos stepped into the kitchen. I saw him look around, eyes landing on me. In a low voice, he said, “So you’ve heard?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m assuming you have questions.”

“I do,” I didn’t look Thanos in the eye. I kept stirring, kept making dinner as methodically as possible. “That thing on your hand. What is it?”

“The instrument used to achieve true balance. I gave them all a painless, quick death. Merciful, as I’m known to be.”

Something in my brain flipped - an instinct. Fear, coupled with sheer desperation. Before I could stop myself, I flung the entire pot of boiling, ravioli-filled water towards Thanos. 

I heard a bellow, but I was already running. Out the door, into the street, and down my driveway as fast as I could possibly go. The road was vacant. A few vehicles had swerved off and into the ditch, their seats empty. The faster I ran, the more my lungs began to burn. 

I skidded to a halt. 

There wasn’t a person in sight. My hometown was vacant, completely. All I could do was walk down the street, past the old buildings, past a flipped car leaking smoke. Recognizable shops that I’d once gone to were empty, some of the glass broken. 

_ Oh, no, no, no, no- _

I started screaming. 

There was a no reply. 

Then, I screamed again. Names of people I knew, names of anyone or anything I thought might reply. I went from door to door, from window to window, peering in, making as much noise as possible until my throat felt raw and my legs were heavy. I was dragging myself across the asphalt at this point, yet no one answered.

I was  _ alone _ .

My desperation and fear turned to rage. Blind rage. My eyes fell across a police cruiser that had crashed into another vehicle. Smoke billowed from the hood, and the thing looked as if it were about to explode. I went to it anyway, pulling open the door.

A dead-eyed face stared back at me. The windshield was shattered, and the cop was slumped over the steering wheel. He wasn’t breathing, and when I checked his pulse and pulled him from the car, I realized he hadn’t been for a long, long time.

I went for his gun first. The object felt heavy in my hand, and I checked the clip, trying to remember what my cousin had taught me. 

While I was struggling, I failed to hear him approach me. It wasn’t until his shadow fell over me, footfalls heavy, that I looked up.

Do it. Before he does.

I was bawling like a baby. It was embarrassing. _ I _ was embarrassing, crouched over the body of a dead cop with his gun in my hand, as if I had the gall to even pull the trigger. 

Thanos simply nodded his head towards the gun. “For me?”

I shook my head. 

I closed my eyes, shoved the barrels into my mouth, and pulled the trigger.

_ Nothing. _

Just a soppy wetness - My mouth filled with water, trickling past my fingers. The gun was gone, and my pant leg became soaked. The whine that left me was audible and loud. 

One of the stones on Thanos’ gauntlet was glowing, and his fists were clenched. Before I could blink, he grabbed me by the arm, his grip strong and stern. 

“Do not make me exert more energy than I already have. Fate has spared you, and yet you’re going to throw your life away-”

“Everyone is gone. Everyone-”

“Not everyone. Half. Half were sacrificed so that people like you could continue to live.”

I struggled to stand. Thanos held me, looking haggard and tired. I could see the jagged scar on his exposed chest, the front of his tunic stained and dark. He was limping, and he continued to pull me back towards the house. 

I didn’t resist. I allowed this creature, this...monster, to drag me down the empty road and yank me back into my own house. I kicked the door shut, finally managing to wriggle away. I watched Thanos hobble over to my couch, sinking back against the cushions once more. 

A moment passed. Thanos’ eyes seemed heavy, and at first he seemed as if he were drifting off. Then they snapped open, acknowledging me with a stare.

“You’re still here. Still staring.”

“I told you, this is my house. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t go anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no one else out there for me. I’m alone,” I swallowed, noticing that Thanos was watching me, morbid curiosity evident on his face. “And so are you.”

“You are attentive.”

“Why did you come here?” 

“I had no control over where I landed. I simply needed to...run.”

I very slowly made my way towards the padded chairs near the corner of the living room. I put distance between myself and Thanos. “What were you running from?”

Thanos huffed. He didn’t reply. I had to sit in silence yet again, watching this creature recline on my couch - which was ruined, now, with blood - while the universe outside burned.  

_ You should have turned that gun on him. _

_ It wouldn’t have been worth it.  _

“You said, out there...that you did it so people like me could survive. Live. Now what. That fancy gauntlet still works. People like you usually want to rule. Become the supreme leader or whatever. Rule over us weaklings.”

“What I want now, is rest.”

“Killing all those innocent people was hard work, huh?”

“Would you rather I have let your people destroy themselves? Would you rather I have let them suffer the same fate as my home planet?”

“The rich prey on the weak, here.”

“So you agree?” 

“I _understand_. I don’t _agree_. Understanding doesn’t equal agreeance,” I replied coolly. “You played God. You aren’t Him.” 

“Oh, how I wish you could see how wrong you are about that.”


	2. Break In

Thanos did what he said he’d do. He rested. Slept, for an entire day. And then another. 

The silence broke me. It was dim and pressing. No cars on the road, no planes in the skies. I wondered if anyone would come to check on my tiny town. Making a call wasn’t an option - the phone lines were down. All semblance of normal life had disappeared as the rest of the world struggled to pick up what was left. 

On the third morning, Thanos sat up. I saw him, from the kitchen, rise and test his injured leg. Then his right arm, which was free from the confines of the gauntlet. The latter of the two appendages seemed worse for wear. 

I ducked my head as Thanos entered the kitchen, staring down into my coffee, suddenly very aware that I was clad only in my nightgown. 

Thanos stopped. In the most casual voice, he asked, “Did you sleep well?”

“No.”

Thanos waved his good hand. “It will pass.”

“You don’t know how emotions work, do you?” I murmured. It was a risky move, but I was cranky. It was morning - I was always cranky. Thanos’ presence wasn’t making it better. “You can’t just...get over shit.”

“It takes time and training. Just like anything else. You have so little, yet you lose so much,” Thanos stopped behind me, peering over my shoulder. “Eventually you become  _ numb _ to it. I saw it in your eyes as you put that gun into your mouth. You _ know  _ pain and suffering.”

I pushed my chair back, slipping from the table. I didn’t bother grabbing my half-empty cup of coffee, and instead hurried away. I wasn’t far enough out of earshot to miss Thanos’ next words.

“Is that a fair assessment?” 

“Man,  _ fuck  _ you.”

* * *

_ Get rid of half to save the rest. _

I understood. I understood, and it scared me. I understood, and I didn’t want to understand because it acknowledged that Thanos wasn’t totally crazy. 

But it also meant that I would live. He wouldn’t kill me. He wouldn’t let…. _ me _ kill me. I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved. 

I eventually needed lunch, which mean that I eventually had to venture out of my room. I shuffled past Thanos, aware that he was watching me. Even as I ate, I felt uneasy.

“Fuck,” I abandoned my plate, carrying my sandwich and walking out the front door. I took a seat on the porch, letting out a sigh as warm air and a slight breeze caressed my skin. I inhaled, before finally settling down and continuing to eat. Thanos did not join me.

About ten minutes later, I started to wish that he had.

Five men were walking up my driveway, hooded, carrying various melee weapons - I spotted a crowbar, a baseball bat, and knives. 

_ Not good. _

_ Not good at all. _

I stood my ground, chewing my food slowly, watching them as they approached. They didn’t seem to care that I was present, addressing me with the same casual attitude one would have when conversing with a neighbor.

“You got any cash on you?”

“No,” I lied, eyes darting to the front door, then back to one of the men - the one with the crowbar. He seemed in charge. 

“Lying won’t do you any good. I know you’ve got something.”

“Taking advantage of a shitty situation...that’s  _ fucked _ . Really, I don’t have anything on me.”

They were surrounding me. Two on my left, two on my right. Crowbar in front, leaving me backed against the wall. Very casually, one said, “I’m checking inside.”

_ Ooh. Bad idea.  _

Crowbar kept me pinned, using his size to simply intimidate me into submission - there was no way I’d win in a fight against him. I had no weapons - just a flimsy, half eaten sandwich and a bottle of soda. I was outmatched for sure. 

As for  _ Thanos _ ….

I didn’t worry about him.

No more than six seconds passed before blood-curdling screams filled the air, followed by the sound of breaking glass. I didn’t move, listening to the commotion while Crowbar began backing away, weapon raised, though it lacked any sort of confidence. 

One final snap, like bones breaking, and then silence. Crowbar turned and ran, nearly tripping over his own shoes. I watched him flail down the driveway and disappear into the brush, looking back over his shoulder as Thanos joined me on the porch.

_ Wrong house to rob, buddy. _

Thanos’ tunic was, once again, stained with blood, though this time it wasn’t his. I was surprised when he turned to me and asked, genuinely, “Are you unharmed?”  
“I’m...fine. They didn’t do anything.”

Thanos looked back inside the house. He sighed, and in a low voice, said, “I will dispose of the bodies.”

“Thanos?” 

“Yes, little terran?” 

“Is there blood on my floor?” 

“An ample amount.”

_ Goddammit. _


	3. Crowd Control

“Let me wash your tunic,” I said, hefting up the laundry basket. “It’ll smell. Mildew, maybe. I’m not sure if blood causes mildew.”

Thanos slowly shut the door behind him. I had no idea where he’d “disposed” of those four men, and I wasn’t going to ask. Their mangled, bleeding faces were all I’d needed to see. 

“And,” I added, “You need to shower. There’s one in the master bedroom. A big one.”

Again, Thanos stared. Then, without a word, he yanked off his shirt and tossed it into the laundry basket. I had about three seconds to gawk at his physique before he brushed past me, heading towards the master bathroom. 

_ Goddamn. _

I shook my head, stunned. I began mentally slapping away whatever jokes or inappropriate thoughts came to mind, trying desperately to focus on doing the laundry. 

_ You’ve always wanted to fuck an alien. _

_ It’s on your bucket list. _

I’d never fucked anyone. Or been fucked. I’d done nothing past holding hands, and even that was…. _ ewwww _ .

I rolled Thanos’ tunic between my fingers, analyzing the foreign fabric. I prayed it was dryer safe. Or just safe in general. 

_ Oh well. _

I slammed the top shut, staring the washer before making my way to the living room, where I sat. It seemed like forever before Thanos entered, still without his shirt  (of course, he only came with one, you idiot)  and still without any sort of shame. 

“Are you staring, little terran?”

“ _No_ ,” I paused. My expression betrayed me. “Okay maybe yes. But only because you’re...an alien and I’ve never seen... _that_.”

“So articulate.” 

“Man... _ shit _ ,” I buried my face in my hands. “Can’t I just admire from afar without some smartass comment-”

“You feel admiration for me now? I’m humbled.”

“I feel like you only talk to me just so you can fuck with me.” 

“I  _ do _ need a pastime.”

“I thought wiping out half the universe was your pastime? Oh, wait, it’s not, it’s your entire reason for existing. You don’t have anywhere to go, do you? No home, no family...it’s tragic.”

Thanos didn’t respond. I could tell I’d struck a nerve - his jaw was clenched, head tilted, eyes boring holes into me. 

“You talk of family as if you have one. Where are they?” Thanos slowly knelt down in front of me, so that I was eye level with him. “Did they abandon you?”

I said nothing.

“ _ Tragic _ .”

One of his thumbs swept away a stray tear as it trickled down my cheek. I didn’t recoil, and instead let him cup my face between his big hands.

“You are not lost. Not yet,” Thanos murmured. “A shame I found you while in such a weakened state. I would have taken you from this planet. And you would have accepted.” 

_ He’s not wrong. _

“Now,” Thanos stood. “Make yourself useful and cook me something to eat.”

I did. I stupidly did, jaw unhinged as I shuffled to the kitchen, feeling like a petulant child. An icy fear gripped my heart - he was looking at me differently. Gone was the curiosity coupled with hefty suspicion. Now it was just….

_ Amusement. _

I barely spoke to Thanos the rest of the day. In fact, I avoided him like the plague. I did my own laundry, cleaned up my room - anything to keep from entering the living area, where I knew Thanos was sitting. 

Dinner rolled around fast. I considered just skipping it, but my stomach was growling, and I was never one to give up food. I could suck it up and deal with it, right? There wasn’t anything else he could say that would get under my skin, make me itch. 

“Have you come to socialize with your only guest?”

“No. I came to get food,” I said gruffly. As I bypassed Thanos, he reached out and caught my arm. 

“Sit. Dinner can wait.”

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. _

I obeyed. 

“I never properly thanked you for accommodating me. I know it was not out of the goodness of your heart, but nevertheless...I appreciate it.”

_ Oh, shit. We’re being nice, now? _

“I never thanked you for, uh, saving me life out there. I guess now...I’m grateful? I don’t know. Yeah. Let’s just say that I’m grateful and happy that I’m not, you know, dead,” I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. “You could have let me die, but you didn’t. I don’t know why you did. I don’t know why I mattered, especially after...everything. All the people you killed anyway-”

“Would you like to know my overall reasoning?” 

“Yes.”

“You are useful to me. I have yet to traverse Earth, and I am uneducated when it comes to your culture. I needed a guide.”

“Figures.”

“It also pained me to see you try and die like a coward.”

“It’s called mental illness, bro,” I waved a hand. “Chemical imbalance in the brain...you’re born with it. Can’t help it. I’ve wanted to die for a long time. I’ve tried. Never worked out. I just...never thought that I meant anything or that I belonged in this world.”

“Yet you are one of the fifty percent that fate chose to spare.”

“I know. Fucking ironic, isn’t it?” 

“Not ironic - telling.” Thanos glanced over at me, before eying his gauntlet. It still sat on the coffee table. Then, in a low voice, he added, “However, if you do wish to embrace death...I will make it painless, and it will be honorable.”

“....Thank you.”

He placed one big palm on the top of my head, gently stroking the skin before stopping abruptly. There was a heavy silence between us, and I stood. He followed my movements, and that was when we heard it - a sound, piercing through the night.

Shouting.

These were not shouts of pain or terror, but of anger. Raw anger. And it was approaching.. 

I winced as a beam of light flashed through the front window and into the house. And then another, and another. I ducked a bit, gesturing for Thanos to do the same. Flashlights, I realized. I saw the orange glow of torches as well. 

_ “We know you’re in there, girlie! Open up!” _

“Shit,” I backed into the kitchen, gesturing for Thanos to follow. “Shit. Holy shit that’s an angry mob. And that  _ voice _ ...that’s the dude from yesterday!”

“The one I missed.”

“The one who _ ran _ ,” I breathed. “And he has...more friends-”

_ “We know you and that freak are in there! Why don’t you bring him out and show everybody?” _

A roar erupted from the crowd. 

“Thanos, go downstairs into the basement. There’s an unfinished part in the back of the hall.”

“You cannot face them alone-”

“I’m not facing anybody. Well, I am, but I’m not fighting. These people are scared and angry and confused. He’s using that. They don’t need a reason to think that he’s telling the truth.”

“You are not a peacemaker-”

“I know, I just happen to be a better one than you. Now go downstairs.”

Reluctantly, Thanos left my side as I headed to the front door. I let out a breath, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Thanos wasn’t peeking. About two dozen faces greeted me as I stepped onto the front porch.

“ _ Hi _ .”

The crowd stared back at me. My meek greeting didn’t seem to garner me any sympathy - just glares. Crowbar, still wielding his, well, crowbar, was in the front.

I recognized some of the faces. They were all haggard. Tired. Some sporting faces streaked with tears. 

I struggled to speak as I realized why they were here.

_ They want him. Not you. _

_ He hurt these people. _

“Can ya’ll, like...leave please? I don’t want any trouble, and whatever this wackjob,” I gestured to Crowbar, “has been feeding you is utter  _ bullshit _ . He and his boys tried to  _ rob  _ me.”

“And we didn’t succeed. You have help.”

“No, I don’t.”

“A scrawny little girl like you taking down four guys?” Crowbar turned to the crowd. “I know what I saw. There’s a monster in this woman’s house. What if he’s the one responsible for all this, huh-”

“He’s  _ lying _ ,” I said through clenched teeth. It was all I had. I wasn’t being driven by fear - not the kind these people were feeling. This was grief and anger. They were looking for a scapegoat, and they were out for blood in exactly the right place.

_ Let them in. Let them tear Thanos to pieces. He deserves it. _

_ And then what? _

I pinched the bridge of my nose, shivering as a cool breeze tickled my skin. The crowd was getting impatient, and Crowbar was egging them on.

“If you have nothing to hide, then you’ll let me in.”  
“I’m not letting you into my fucking house. Are you fucking insane? Do you want me to call the cops-”

“Almost all the cops in this town are  _ gone _ . The ones that aren’t? They ain’t cops. Not anymore.”

“So you’re all here looking for a boogeyman that doesn’t exists? As if finding that, killing that, will solve your problems and bring back the people you lost?”

“We’re not looking for a boogeyman, we’re looking for justice,” Crowbar sneered. The crowd cheered.

He’d won.

I stepped back as he stepped forward, and before I could let out a cry for help, an explosion sounded from the crowd. People screamed, some scattered. The buckshot hit its intended target.

_ Me. _

It was as if I’d been punched in the gun. The force of the blow knocked me off my feet and I landed hard. I heard Crowbar shout something, and then glass peppered my skin, and there was a bellow of inhuman rage, and more screaming, screaming, screaming-

And blood. So, _ so  _ much of it. The hole was on my right side, just above my breast. The pain was beyond anything my brain could comprehend. I could only let out a soft gasp and a curse.

No one came to finish me off. The only figure in my sight was Thanos, and he was stepping over what was left of the mob. Bodies, almost a dozen of them, scattered across my driveway. Crowbar was crawling, his leg bent at an odd angle, blood streaming from his shattered nose - Thanos spoke to him for a moment, before grinding his face into paste with his boot and leaving a corpse in his wake.

I was lifted, and carried into the house. My now ruined couch became even more stained, the flow of my blood darkening the cushions even more. Thanos set me down and disappeared into the kitchen. 

He returned shortly with something in his hand. That was when my vision went foggy, and I struggled to stay conscious. The pull of the void was just so...alluring. Much better than sitting here, bleeding everywhere.

“Hold on, little terran.”

“Why do you call me that. I’m not a turtle.” 

Thanos ignored me. 

“Shit. That’s a terrapin. Nevermind.”

Then I passed out.


	4. Hopper

I woke up in the middle of the _ fucking  _ woods.

I could feel the leaves and grass beneath me - beneath the soft fabric I was lying on. The minute I opened my eyes, I was greeted to blue skies and overhead branches swaying in the breeze. Beside me, Thanos sat, arm draped over his bent knee. He looked tired. His skin seemed pallid, almost, flushed of it’s usual color.

I snorted. Thanos’ head snapped to the side, and he stared down at me.

“You’re alive.”

“Surprise.”

“I didn’t believe you’d survive.”

“Unfortunately, I did,” I said dryly. I slowly eased up, expecting pain. There was nothing but a sharp soreness in my chest, and I frowned. I reached up with one hand to feel my wound, and found just a circle of flesh that was raw and tender to the touch. The front of my shirt was heavily soaked with blood, the material stained and rough. 

“What did you do?” I breathed. 

“I saved your life. _Again_.”

“But what did you do? To me-”

“I made the discovery that Titan blood is compatible with the human body. I gave you what I had to offer, and this was the result.”

“Those people-”

“Disposed of. We could not go back to that house.”

“ _ Shit _ ,” I ran a hand down my face. I could have really, really killed for a shower. Especially now. I could smell the blood on my shirt and the smells of the forest - bark, moss, grass, everything. And it was _ loud _ , too.

I very slowly stood. Thanos helped me to my feet, towering over me. He handed me something - a backpack. 

“I gathered some belongings for you. A change of clothes. Water. Some items from your pantry…”

“You didn’t have to do that,” I murmured. “Thank you.” 

So, we walked. Our impromptu hiking trip wasn’t something I’d expected, and I desperately tried to keep up with Thanos’ long strides. My injury bogged me down, and even though Thanos, too, was somewhat injured and exhausted, he was still more durable and had more stamina than I could ever imagine. 

“Just so you know,” I panted, “I have no idea where the fuck we are. I know I’m supposed to be your planetary guide or whatever, but I don’t know shit about living in the woods.”

“I didn’t expect you to.”

“Then why are you keeping me around?” 

“Now? I’ll admit that I’ve grown fond of you,” Thanos shrugged. He stopped when he realized that I was lagging behind. He extended a hand, and I took it. “And after everything, you  _ still _ follow me.” 

“I mean, yeah. Jeez. I have nowhere else to go. No diss but...you’re scary as _shit_. And big. And you can kick ass. So I’ll stay with you, even if it’s against my better judgement.”

“You’re much wiser than you appear.”

“Not really.” 

Thanos chuckled. After a moment, he sighed and knelt down onto one knee. I was confused at first, before I realized what he wanted.

“Hop on,” he said dryly.

So I did, wrapping my arms around his neck and receiving the weirdest piggy-back ride I’d ever had.

* * *

We emerged from the forest after what seemed like an hour. The grassy field in front of us was wide, not a building in sight, save for the multi-story ranch house and the massive barn dead in the center. Most of the place was fenced in, and I noticed several horses take one look at Thanos before starting to back away.

Very, very slowly we began approaching the house. The front door was wide open, a sign, I believed, of the worst.

“Go slow. Walk around them,” I said softly, placing a hand on Thanos’ bicep. He nodded, following my lead. We reached the front door, and almost immediately, a loud bark very nearly had me turning and hightailing it back into the woods.

Thanos stopped me. I sighed when I saw the lanky German Shepard hobble out the front door to greet us. He was rail thin, malnourished from days of no food. Without hesitation, I crouched and checked the dog’s collar.

“ _Hopper_ ,” I scratched the dog beneath the chin, grimacing at his frail state. “Shit. You need food. Uh, Thanos-”

“Leave the creature. We need to continue forwards-”

“Uh, fuck no,” I rose, and Hopper stayed by my side, understandably wary of Thanos. He seemed more scared than hostile, and I quickly grabbed the dogs collar and eased him back inside the house, bypassing Thanos. Under my breath, murmured, “Where’s your food at, boy?”

It didn’t take long for me to find his food, and I quickly began pouring Hopper a bowl. As I did, I heard Thanos’ heavy footsteps as he entered the house. It was big - bigger than mine. And pretty. I eyed the pristine living room, the wide television - which was on, I realized - and the ornate kitchen. 

Hopper was gulping down his food, and I gently patted his back.

“Slow down, you’ll make yourself sick,” I rose to my feet, taking a peek out of the laundry room. I began exploring the house, taking slow steps. I was in a foreign place, in a foreign home. It felt...awkward. Weird. Wrong. Especially since I knew the fate of whoever lived here.

The very sight of a couch made me realize just how exhausted I was. I slipped my bag from my shoulder, letting it rest against the wall. 

“We’re not staying here.”

I ignored Thanos, flopping onto the couch. I studied the walls and saw pictures of a husband and wife, older, hair grey, embracing each other on a beach. I saw another picture of a young girl and a dog that had to be Hopper. A graduation picture. A wedding photo. 

A family. 

_ Gone. _

Again, and more forceful, Thanos said, “We’re not staying here.”

“Where do you want to go, then?” 

“Somewhere safe.”

“And then what? Wait? Wait until the universe needs balancing again, when I’m long gone and dead? There’s nothing left, Thanos,” I sat up, glaring. “It’s _over._ You have nothing left. There’s nothing to do except…”

“Except _what_ , little terran?” 

I rubbed my eyes. I was far too exhausted for any philosophical debate with Thanos right now.

“I don’t know, but these animals, we can’t leave them out here. They’ll die. This farm is out in the middle of nowhere, and there’s no one to take care of them-”

“That isn’t your job, nor is it mine.” 

“You wipe out half the universe, and won’t even face the consequences.”

“I faced  _ consequences _ . Believe me.”

“This should be easy, then. Stay with me. Just...for a little while. We’ll take care of this place, maybe...I don’t know. Make something,” I shrugged, my face flushed for some reason. I didn’t want to think about why. “Or you can keep walking, keep searching for whatever it is you want. Just, without me.”

Thanos ducked his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. I knew, then, that I’d won. Miraculously, I’d won.

_ Gee. Wonder why?  _

_ Shut up! _

“You are insufferable,” Thanos murmured,“yet persuasive.”

Hopper came bounding into the living room, practically leaping into my arms. He adorned my cheek with a wet, sloppy kiss that stunk of dog food.

I welcomed it.


	5. Consummate

I let Thanos take the master bedroom, opting to sleep across the hall. The place was pristine and almost angelic in appearance - or, to me it looked angelic. Anything was better that the outdoors. 

I shut the door behind me, letting out a ragged sigh. After a moment, I slowly began to slide off my shirt. I didn’t bother folding it and instead tossed it into the wooden trash bin by the bathroom door before I turned and faced a mirror hanging on the wall. 

I gagged at the sight of my wound. It was unbandaged and raw, tender to the touch. I could see the inside of my own flesh, and when I stupidly prodded at the grotesque hole with my finger, I nearly screamed.

It was _ moving _ .

Like, fixing itself? My fingers were streaked with a bit of red when I pulled them away, but the wound was very slowly and very discreetly mending itself. Tissue folded over tissue and skin began to appear. I was mesmerized, transfixed on the process. 

_ Holy shit, holy shit. _

There was pain, just little pinpricks that I barely noticed. I moved away, hands shaking as I methodically knelt and began rummaging through my backpack. Thanos had packed another shirt, and I hastily slipped it on, just so I could cover up my wound. 

I had two options. Confront Thanos, or act ignorant and pretend that nothing was happening to me. Something was different. I knew it. 

_It’s nothing. He gave you his blood - maybe his blood is special? Maybe it’s...reacting, healing you up faster? That’s a good thing, right?_ _  
__Right?_

Hopper barked, and I nearly jumped out of my skin for the second time that day. I opened the bedroom door, letting the dog in. He immediately claimed a spot on my bed, right at the foot.

“Things sure have changed for you, huh?” I forced a smile. Of course, Hopper just stared, ears perked up. Even that was better than nothing. “I guess we’re bros now.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, stroking the top of Hoppers head. It was a while before Thanos found me, entering the room without preamble.

“Are you settled in?” 

“As settled in as I can be.” I glanced up at him. “You?”

“I much prefer my ship, but this is sufficient enough for the time being.”

“Why don’t you use those stones and zap yourself out of here?”

“The energy it takes to wield even a single stone is astronomical. That gauntlet was forged so that I could easily use each simultaneously,” Thanos explained. “It’s damaged. Unstable.”

“How ‘bout we run that thing by Geek Squad and have them take a look at it?”

“I had the dwarves of Nidavellir forge that gauntlet using the power of a _ star _ .”

“And Geek Squad fixed my car radio when I spilled Orange Crush all over it. There’s gotta be someone on Earth who can fix that thing. Or maybe like….a ship.  _ Something _ to get you back to your space Airbnb.”

“At this point, the matter is trivial,” Thanos glanced down at me. He stepped closer, and I flinched. His big hand gently eased up my shirt as he took it upon himself to examine my wound.

“It’s getting better,” I murmured, tense. “I….your blood is making it heal faster.”

“That’s what I wanted. You should have a faint scar by tomorrow morning.” Thanos released my shirt, but kept his hand on my side. I realized that he was practically standing between my legs now, weight shifted onto one foot as he peered down at me. My face flushed, and I sat up straighter, trying to make myself seem taller.

“Human skin is so soft, so  _ malleable _ ,” Thanos murmured. His other hand rested gently against my cheek. I was shaking like a leaf. Thanos seemed to notice, though he didn’t back away. Instead he sighed, shrugging his shoulders and saying, “If you wouldn’t mind...removing your clothes?” 

“ _ What _ ?”

Thanos tilted his head to the side. “Have you ever taken a man before?”

I jumped, opening my mouth, trying to force something to come out. No words did. Just a little squeak, and I scratched the back of my neck, trying to come up with some sort of answer.

“I’ve...taken women before. But only once.”

“So you are inexperienced.”

“Uh, _yeah_. A bit. Why...wait, are you asking to have sex with me?”

“Obviously. A little stress relief would do us both some good.” Thanos stroked my short hair. I hardly had any, and it certainly wasn’t enough for Thanos to grab and play with and -

_ Stop it! _

“I, uh, I...I guess. I don’t know how the fuck sex even...works. Okay. Shit. I know how sex works I’ve just never done it before.”

“It’s best that you relax.” Thanos slipped his hand beneath my shirt, gently easing me onto my back. My head flopped against the mattress, legs dangling over the edge as Thanos knelt. I gulped.  _ This _ particular part I had experience with.

“Up here,” Thanos positioned my legs across each one of his shoulders. Even on his knees, he was tall enough that he had to duck his head to reach that little spot between my thighs. I was huffing and puffing, try to control the pinpricks of pleasure shooting from my brain right down to my pussy. 

“Relax,” Thanos purred. He deftly slipped off my shorts, and I took his advice and relaxed. I let myself feel pleasure for once, arching my back as Thanos planted a soft kiss against the skin right above my hip before twisting my underwear between two fingers. He glanced up at me, seeking for approval.

“ _ Yes _ ,” I murmured.

He practically tore them away, and I winced at the sight of perfectly good underwear being torn to pieces. My annoyance didn’t last long, and before I had a chance to feel insecure about my own pussy, Thanos was lapping me up like a man starved.

“Oh! Oh  _ shit _ , dude - holy  _ shit _ -”

My palm slapped the mattress as if I were tapping out of a wrestling match. I didn’t know how to react or what to do - pleasure flooded me, and Thanos’ movements were only making it  _ more  _ -

“ _ More _ ,” I gasped. “Please, more-”

“Beg for it.”

“No, bitch -”

I yelped as Thanos flicked the little bud between my legs. Again, he snarled, “Beg for it!”

My mouth hung open and I felt like I was about to fucking die from the sheer embarrassment. I pushed it away once more and begged, over and over, until Thanos was pistoning one thick finger in and out of my cunt, singing praises, cooing, telling me how  _ good  _ I was.

I came all over Thanos’ face, riding out my release until I was a panting, writhing mess. Thanos placed another, wetter kiss above my hip bone, moving up slowly, taking my shirt with him. He stopped, lips inches above mine. He smiled.

“ _ Beautiful _ .”

“I don’t agree with that.”

“You deserve pleasure. That’s something I can offer you,” Thanos murmured. “Let yourself  _ feel _ .”

I could feel. I could feel the rippling muscle beneath Thanos’ tunic, and something hard poking my lower thigh. I gulped, peering into his eyes and saying, “I’ll...try.”

“We will stop the moment you feel uncomfortable.” Thanos leaned down and pecked my lips. “I will let you take the lead.”

I did. I stripped Thanos down myself, marveling at his physique, running my fingers against his hard stomach and across each dip and groove, each scar. I was mesmerized by his skin - it was rough, and warm. His hands fit over my breasts, and he worshiped my body as if it were a temple. He seemed just as transfixed with me as I did with him, and it felt good. The attention felt good.

_ You’ve never had that. Ever. _

“I going to take you now,” Thanos said. He was sitting up, arms keeping me seated in his lap. I glanced down, gnawing on my lower lip as he cock nudged at my folds. He entered me swiftly and I nearly screamed. The intrusion wasn’t unpleasant, it was just  _ different _ . I felt full, as if I were about to burst. The pressure in my lower abdomen felt foreign, but it soon morphed into something else.

“Oh  _ fuck _ -”

“Does that feel nice?” 

I nodded frantically, gripping his shoulders. He snapped his hips forward, moving with furious abandon. I was a moaning, squealing mess. I came first, clamping around him. He followed shortly after, releasing onto my lower stomach. I could only stare, mouth open in a silent gasp.

_ “Look at me.” _

I obeyed. Thanos held my gaze, and I couldn’t tear away.

“You are  _ mine _ .”

I nodded. I slipped off his lap, staring up at the ceiling and trying to calm my pounding heart. My entire body tingled, leftover spasms of pleasure shooting from between my legs right to my brain. Thanos had already recovered, and he was watching me.

“You should rest,” Thanos said. I closed my eyes and felt him leave the bed and start to gather his discarded clothes. I didn’t reply, watching the ceiling fan as it spun. 

I said, “Can you stay with me?”

Thanos paused. I finally met his gaze, and it softened. To my surprise, he nodded and deftly slipped back into bed. His skin was as comforting as a blanket, and I welcomed him with open arms.

“You have so much to learn, little terran,” Thanos said. “You don’t allow yourself enough pleasure. In time, you will learn.”


	6. The Changeling

When I awoke, Thanos had tucked me beneath the covers and turned off the lights. The second thing I noticed was the soreness in my legs and arms, evidence that yes, we had indeed fucked. It hadn’t been a dream. 

_ You can now cross “fucked an alien” off your bucket list. _

_ So proud. _

I snorted and rolled over, burying my face into the pillow. Light peeked through the closed blinds and I mustered the energy to get up and shower, slipping into some newer clothes before heading downstairs. Hopper greeted me enthusiastically, but there was no sign of Thanos.

I spotted him on the front porch, sitting on the stairs. I took a seat next to him while Hopper bounded past, heading off to explore the farm. After a slight pause, Thanos spoke.

“I never thought I’d have the chance to rest.”

“Yeah that’s me. Everyday,” I rubbed my eyes. “Always fucking tired. Always wanting to rest - I’ve never done that with someone else though.” I rolled my shoulders, glancing at Thanos out of the corner of my eye. I shifted a bit, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. “Was I, uh, okay last night? Did I do okay? Did I say awkward shit -”

“I enjoyed every bit of our time together. You were a fine lover,” Thanos murmured. I turned away to hide my blush, my instincts screaming at me to leave the conversation. Before I could make a decision, Thanos added, “Are all humans this... _ shy  _ when it comes to sex?”

“Sometimes. It depends. Society forces us to be, sometimes. Especially if you’re a woman,” I shrugged. “I’ve just...I’ve never thought….” I trailed off, already feeling a flush of heat rise to my face.

“Continue.”

“I’ve never thought that anyone would want to have sex with me.”

“And why is that?” 

“I’m physically, you know, unappealing,” I forced myself to look Thanos in the eyes. “The ideal...woman where I come from isn’t me. It’s just...I don’t think I’m pretty enough. It’s stupid. Forget I even said shit.” 

“Your physical appearance does not repulse me. While smaller than most, you would have fit amongst my race and would have had many a suitor.”

“But I’m not...purple?” 

Thanos’ shoulders tensed, and I froze, worried that I’d said something wrong or struck a nerve. After a pause, Thanos said, “I do not represent my kind in appearance. I was an anomaly. An abomination - that’s what my mother called me the moment she saw my face. I was so grotesque to her that she attempted to take my life.”

_ Okay. Yeah. That’s fucked up. You aren’t that ugly. _

“That’s….wow,” I was at a loss for words. The thought of an innocent child - even if they’d grow up to be, well, not so innocent - being attacked by their own mother sickened me. “Holy shit. I’m sorry.”

Thanos waved a hand, as if dismissing the incident that I was sure must have left some mental scarring forever. “My mother perished along with the rest of my kind. I was unable to save Titan, but I have managed to save the rest of the universe from suffering the same fate.”

_ Sure, buddy. _

_ You really did some “saving.” _

I said nothing, feeling conflicted. That immediately vanished as Thanos leaned over and captured my lips, same as he had the night before. This time the kiss was gentle, and he seemed to savor it - as did I. 

“If you need reassurance regarding how I feel about your body, you will meet me upstairs after dinner tonight, undressed and ready.”

“I’m okay with that. I’m...really okay with that.” 

“Good.”

I felt like a giddy school girl, pecking Thanos on the mouth twice before bounding across the farm and towards the barn. I got halfway there before I stopped dead in my tracks as if I’d hit a brick wall. 

Someone was speaking. It was Thanos. When I turned back around, he’d gone into the house.

Then, again. The voice. Multiple voices, filling my head. Almost immediately I sunk to my knees, squeezing my eyes shut as light flashed before me and my brain felt as if it were going to explode. 

_ This isn’t a migraine. This isn’t a - _

_ “I only ask that you take this matter seriously.” _

_ “The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me. Your demeanor is that of a pouty child. And apparently, you alienated my favorite daughter Gamora.” _

The man standing before me was not Thanos, but someone else. Someone alien, eyes wide with a rage I’d never seen before in another creature. 

I tried to scream, but no noise came out. By the point I could feel grass against my skin and could tell that I was lying in the fetal position, my mind unable to cope with the sudden invasion of someone else’s visions.

_ I saw death. So much death. And pain. And blood. _

_ Make it stop make it stop make it stop. _

A wet tongue against my face jolted me back into reality. Hopper was licking me, ears perked. He could tell something wasn’t right, and he was standing over me as if begging me to wake up, come back -

I sat up. I brushed grass from my hair, wrapping my arms around Hopper and keeping him close. Tear stung at the edge of my eyes as I tried to process what the absolute  _ fuck  _ I’d just witnessed. 

Almost out of fear, a desire to be near Thanos in case it happened again, I doubled back to the house, Hopper at my side. The horses were grazing and didn’t seem bothered. The minute I stepped inside, I headed for the kitchen and began feverishly making myself breakfast, trying to get my mind off things. My hurried movements and silence gave me away immediately.

“Is something wrong, little terran?”

“No.”

“It’s in your best interest not to lie to me.”

I turned, halfway through pouring a bowl of cereal. I stopped, attempting to dart past Thanos, which, of course, failed. I was lifted as if I weighed no more than a feather and discarded onto the countertop island while Thanos stepped between my legs. I was barely eye level with him, even with the added support. He yanked my body flush against his, just as he had during our first time together. 

“Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Just...everything.”

“A little too broad. What specifically?”

I gulped. “I’m seeing things. Memories. During my dreams and...during the day. They’re your memories. I see them through you.”

Thanos swept his thumb across my lower lip, tilting his head as he processed what I’d just told him. I couldn’t help but notice the small smirk on his lips. 

“You have Titan blood coursing through your veins.  _ My _ blood. You’re the only terran in the galaxy who can claim that.” Thanos rolled his shoulders. “Changes in your body and mind are to be expected -”

“I’m healing faster. I’m getting your memories,” I pressed. “And you want me to just...ignore that? Forget that when I bleed, I’ll bleed fucking...purple or magenta or whatever the fuck color your blood is -”

“Would you rather I have left you to  _ die _ in your home?”

“Did you know this would happen to me?”

Thanos didn’t reply. He pursed his lips and I leaned back, searching is face for something. There was no guilt, no recognition of how I felt. 

“I did what I thought was necessary to ensure  _ you _ survived. I expected side effects, but I did not know of their nature.”

I ran my hands across my face, letting out a ragged sigh. Thanos gently pulled my hands away, and I decided to just  _ ask _ .

“You have a kid?” Thanos went rigid. I pressed on anyway, adding, “You mentioned her. Back in space or whatever, when you were talking to some blue dude.”

“Gamora,” Thanos murmured. 

“Yeah. And you said that she was your favorite. You have more kids? Is there a Mrs. Thanos -”

“There is no ‘Mrs. Thanos,’ and I have no children. Not anymore.” Bitterness laced Thanos’ tone. “Whatever you see, do not speak of it to me.”

“So I’m supposed to just shut the fuck up?” I raised my eyebrows. “If I see a memory of you stabbing a bunch of little kids or some fucked up shit, I’m supposed to be like, ‘okay, that’s cool?’”

I slipped from the counter, bypassing Thanos. I wasn’t even out of the kitchen before he grabbed my arm, attempting to pull me back to him.

He should have been able to tug me into his embrace with ease, but my muscles tensed and I found myself unmoving, in the same spot. 

“Don’t grab me like that. I don't like it.”

“You had a different opinion last night.”

I spun and  _ shoved _ . Thanos did stumbled, bracing his hands on the granite island. I saw him squeeze, the stone cracking and chipping beneath his grip. 

“Careful, _girl_.”

I shrugged. “Guess I got your strength, too,” my fingers flexed and I gnawed on my lower lip. I didn’t feel any different - I hadn’t meant to put so much power into my push. Even then, even with my sudden newfound confidence, Thanos was still much,  _ much _ bigger than me. 

“Whatever is happening to me, I don’t like it. I don’t  _ want _ it.”

“The only way to relieve you of your burden is to give you that honorable death I offered.,” Thanos clenched his fist. “I, personally, would rather have you  _ alive _ . You are no use to the universe dead, and I would certainly miss you by my side.”

“Are you just saying that so you can dick me down tonight, or do you really mean it?”

“Always so _ crass _ ,” Thanos rolled his eyes. “Yes. I mean it.”

“ _Okay_ ,” I drawled. “Okay. Cool. Cool. I’m going to eat breakfast, and then I’m going to take Hopper on a walk. Alone. I need the fresh air.”

I drummed my fingers against my thigh, not waiting for Thanos to reply. I grabbed my bowl of cereal, poured in some milk, and ate like a woman starved. Thanos was kind enough not to bother me, but I could feel his gaze as he retreated to the living room.

_ Clear your head. You need it. _


	7. A Vision

Hopper, off the leash, took the lead as we began our trek through the forest. There was a carved trail that I imagined the couple had used, and Hopper seemed to know it well. I walked slow, letting the dog explore and sniff around while I tried to take in the crisp, fresh air. It was beautiful out, not too hot, the trees providing plenty of shade.

The perfect outdoor weather should have relaxed me. And it was. Just not enough. I kept fiddling with my fingers, glancing around. 

_ Soothe your mind _

My mind was the opposite of soothe. I was on a plane, ready for takeoff. I knew it was safe, but I couldn’t help the instinctual, nagging feeling that something would go wrong. 

Hopper barked, bounding back down the trail, tongue hanging from his mouth. His tail wagged a mile a minute and I knelt down, petting him before taking a seat against a tree.

“Shit’s  _ fucked _ , bro,” I addressed the dog as if he were an old friend. “I’m so used to Thanos now. It’s fucking weird. The dude is a bigass alien from a different planet. The universe got bootyfucked because of him, yet I’m fucking him, letting him touch me. Cooking him breakfast and kissing him goodnight like we’re fucking married or some shit.”

Hopper obviously had no clue what the fuck I was talking about. He just sat there with a big, dumb, dorky dog smile on his face. That was totally fine. I didn’t expect him to start spouting advice. 

_ If only animals could talk. _

I winced, rubbing my temples. 

_ “What’s wrong, little one?” _

_ “My mother. Where’s my mother?” _

Jesus. I bit my lip until it bled, forcing my eyes shut. The voices were loud, the images too real, too palpable. The little girl with the green skin was staring up at me, having to crane her neck. 

_ “What’s your name?” _

People were being separated, split up and held back by armed creatures. Their screams were deafening. 

_ “Gamora.” _

_ “You’re quite the fighter, Gamora. Come, let me help you.” _

No, no, no. Thanos’ words boomed inside my head as he knelt, balancing a double edged switchblade on his finger. Distracting the little girl while the people behind her wept and held each other -

I smelled fire and blood. Bodies piled on top of bodies. I was immobilized.

_ “Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.” _

* * *

I awoke still on the trail, slouched over, Hopper lying by my side.

I leaned over and vomited, using the tree as support. I could still smell the burning flesh, still hear those screams. They were echoes, but they were still there.

I hobbled back towards the house.

_ That little girl was Gamora. His kid. His daughter. _

_ He took her.  _

Fear and rage bubbling inside me, all directed at the purple alien stepping out of the barn, a square bale of hay hefted over his shoulder. When he noticed me, he stopped.

“What -”

Okay, I overreacted - I knew that the moment I punched Thanos square in the gut. He doubled over, staggering back, clearly shocked and winded by the blow. 

“Fuck you,” I spat. “Fucking fuck you!”

I went to hit him again, this time pounding both fists against his chest. He hit the side of the barn and the entire structure shook. 

“You want a fight, do you?” Thanos snarled. “You are acting like a petulant child -”

Hopper barked, but Thanos’ glare alone caused the dog to slink away with his tail between his legs. For some reason that pissed me off even more.

“Don’t fucking glare at him like that,” I turned back to Thanos, pointing a finger. “She wasn’t your kid. You took her. Stole her -”

“I saved her.”

“Where is she now?”

Thanos didn’t reply. His silence made me groan and clutch my head - images flashed through my head again.

_ “I’m sorry, little one.” _

“Holy fuck,” I breathed. Then, again, “Holy fuck -”

Thanos reached for me but I shoved him away, hard. The action must have been one too many, and I felt my feet leave the ground. I was flung like a rag doll through the air, and I landed hard on my stomach a few yards away.

Hopper up and ran into the house as Thanos approached me. I stood, a bit dazed and surprised that I hadn’t broken any bones. Yet.

“This is not a fight you will win.”

_ Hit him in the dick! _

I did. Thanos bellowed and I darted past, making it into the barn before Thanos was on me. He hadn’t stayed down as long as I’d thought he would.

_ See, now you just pissed him off even more. _

I was thrown, once again. Bales of hay softened the impact, and I sputtered.

“You are spirited and fierce. Had I know Terran blood and Titan blood were compatible…” Thanos smirked. “I could have achieved great things. I still can.”

“Good for you.”

“You need to learn obedience and respect. I’d rather not have to  _ beat _ it into you.”

“Shit,” I drawled. “Thanos, dude, time out.”

“All this newfound strength has gotten to your head. You are still human.”

He leaned in close and I slammed my forehead into his nose. Thanos sucked in a breath, and when I looked up, a drop of blood trickled from his nose. 

“Ha. Made you bleed.”

Thanos smiled. It wasn’t his usual half smirk. This was wide and predatory, as if my action had turned him on. 

_ He’s about to fuck you against these hay bales.  _

His erection pressed against the inside of my thigh. When I kissed him, I could taste his blood. It was exhilarating and sensual. He only pulled away so he could tear my pants and undergarments away. 

“I need to be inside your cunt, now,” Thanos breathed against my mouth. I was making short work of his tunic, untucking it and simply sliding down his trousers a bit so I could free his erection. I rubbed my thumb across the weeping head, and Thanos snarled. “Let me inside you.”

He sunk into me without a second of hesitation, unlike last time. While he groaned, I bit down against his shoulder to stifle my shriek. My teeth pierced the skin and Thanos reacted by slamming my body, hard, against the barn floor.

I felt no pain as my bones rattled. He took me rough and fast, pistoning his hips and cooing praises into my ear.

My stomach coiled as my release inched closer and closer. I slapped Thanos’ bicep, barely able to speak. “I’m going to come.”

“Not yet. Not until I give you permission.”

“Oh fuck, please-”

“I told you, obedience,” Thanos whispered, his lips against the shell of my ear. “You won’t come until you’re allowed.”

“No,” I whined. “Fuck, no-”

“You will  _ listen _ and  _ obey _ . Unless you wish for me to claim your other hole?”

“No-”

My words were cut off as Thanos squeezed my cheeks between his fingers, forcing me to look up into his eyes. They were wide, lust blown. He slowed, still keeping a grip on my face while his gaze flitted down towards his cock. His muscles were twitching as he maintained control. He pulled out, sliding his cock between my folds. 

“Come, now.”

I did. I clenched around nothing, screaming as my release coated my thighs. Thanos’ cock swelled and he pumped ropes of his come onto my lower stomach, watching, lips parted in a soft moan.

_ “Beautiful.” _


	8. Peace

A week passed. Then two. Then three. I made occasional trips to the local grocery store, buying whatever I could with the bundles and bundles of savings cash we’d found in the basement safe, which Thanos had cracked open with ease. There was no produce coming in - not yet, anyway - so each time I went there was less and less. 

_ Fuck. _

Just seeing other people was weird. I’d become to used to Thanos’ hulking body by my side, and it felt strange travelling without him. I was happy that my trips were quick and infrequent, as I didn’t want to end up on any sort of radar. 

At the six week mark, things were beginning to settle. The world hadn’t gone back to normal, but it was as close as it would ever get. The looting and fighting had ceased, but there was still a palpable anger in the air, and I knew it was a matter of time before someone lit the fuse and blew us all to smithereens. 

Hopper greeted me enthusiastically when I returned to the farm. As I began unloading the groceries, I peeked out the window and saw Thanos, over by the fence, his big hand languidly stroking the snout of one of the horses - Sunflower, if I remembered her name correctly. She seemed to be enjoying his gentle ministrations, and I couldn’t help but smile.

Thanos looked at peace. It was a weird look on him, but not unpleasant. 

_ God, please let this be the start of something good. _

“Sunshine seemed tense this afternoon, as did Daisy,” Thanos’ words were so nonchalant that I almost choked on my drink. I was lounging on the couch, my feet resting in Thanos’ lap. “More so than usual. My presence was not the cause.”

“We’re new to them, still. Horses are smart. They probably have no idea what the fuck is happening or why their owners are suddenly gone.”

“That is...something to consider,” Thanos murmured. “Nevertheless, they will adapt. Just as you have.”

“I was never a people person. I’m surprised ‘fate’ or whatever spared me. Nobody would have noticed if I’d….disappeared.”

“You’ve been on your own for some time?” 

“Yeah. Some of it is me. I don’t...play well with other people, really. I’m scared of them. I don’t trust them.”

“Yet somehow you end up with a Titan as your lover and companion. Fate can be merciful and strange.”

I gulped. It wasn’t until now that I’d realized Thanos had never really given a word to our relationship. Everything in the book sounded childish. It also hadn’t occurred to me that Thanos actually cared enough to do so.

“It is,” I answered. I sat up, pulling my legs against my chest. In a low voice, I asked, “Did you think about what’s next? What we’re - you’re - going to do in the future?”

“I’m going to rest, little Terran. My mission is complete. There is nothing else left for me to accomplish.”

I chewed on my lower lip. It was a long shot, but I voiced my opinion anyway.

“Have you ever thought about leaving Earth and finding a deserted, habitable planet and just...living out your life there?”

“I have. Why?” 

“You’ll always have enemies here. And you’ll always have to hide. I know you think you’ve done the right thing by taking out half the universe, but the people who are left...you robbed them. Friends. Family. Everything. If they find you, they will  _ kill _ you.”

“I am not afraid to face the consequences of a  _ necessary _ action. Soon, your planet and the rest of the universe will thrive. Humans will understand - just as you have.”

My teeth clenched. I looked away but Thanos used two fingers to gently push my face back into his line of sight. In a low voice, he said, “You chose to put that gun to your mouth instead of aiming it at the perceived enemy. You’d seen the truth, yet you ‘spared’ me.”

“Thanos, I have nothing to live for. I’ve stuck with you because...I feel important. I feel  _ wanted _ . I follow you around like a lost dog because I am a lost dog.” My eyes flickered to Hopper. “To me, death was a better escape. It’s not anymore. Maybe that makes me guilty, maybe it makes me fucked up in the head like you...I don’t know. I don’t.”

Thanos smirked. “If I were to leave Earth, you would accompany me. With your new biology, and with the Infinity Stones in our possession, we could rebuild my home planet.”

I nearly choked on my drink for the second time

“Rebuild-”

“It will take time - and  _ we _ have time. Your lifespan has increased by a millenia.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. My eyelashes fluttered and I probably looked dumb, sitting across from Thanos with my mouth half open. My tongue felt dry and it took me several swallows before I whimpered, “That’s a lot.”  
“You look perturbed.”

“Yeah, this is all new information.”

“It is the truth. The sooner you accept it, the less painful it will be. You will be around when this planet withers and is consumed by the star it orbits,” Thanos replied. “I’m simply asking that you consider. I want you by my side, Rachel.”  
Very rarely did he speak my name. His jaw was set and his eyes were blazing and determined. 

_ He’s legit asking you to marry him and have his kids on some random fucking planet. _

_ That ain’t on your bucket list. _

Screw the bucket list. I wasn’t dying anytime soon, so I probably wouldn’t revisit that for another ten thousand years. Which already felt weird thinking about - I’d celebrate my five-hundredth birthday and still look the way I did now. 

“I’ll...consider it.”

Thanos smiled. I sat up on my knees, dipping down to press a soft, lingering kiss against his parted lips. 

“I’m going up and getting ready for bed,” I murmured, grazing my knuckles across his cheek. He leaned into my touch, and I chuckled. I slid away before he could grab me and tear at my clothes, hopping up the stairs towards my room - our room, at this point. I slept by his side almost every night, and it had become nothing more than a habit. 

I bathed, dressed, and crawled beneath the sheets. I didn’t try to close my eyes. My mind was racing with memories that weren’t my own, and I could only lay in silence as foreign smells, voices, and sights filled my head.

I saw the same little girl from before. Gamora. But she was older, now, not yet in her prime. She was fighting, moving like a leaf in the wind. Graceful, tactful, each movement calculated and determined. Her opposite, a blue-skinned, hairless alien was just a step behind.

Gamora was crowned victor when she pinned her opponent down, sword inches away from the other girl’s throat.

_ “Again. And this time, Nebula, do not fail.”  _

_ “Yes, Father.” _

They fought again. And again. Nebula always lost. 

I could tell that Thanos favored Gamora. I could feel it - a deep sense of paternal love, as twisted as it was. That adoration was shown towards Nebula, but it was scarce and dwindling. 

_ “Again.” _

Nebula was scratched and bleeding from the nose. 

_ “Father-” _

_ “Again. Your sister is barely winded.” _

I clawed at my head, shrieking into the pillows. These memories weren’t mine. I didn’t want them. 

_ You just want to remain ignorant. _

_ You don’t want to feel bad for fucking him. _

“I brought you some tea. I might help your headaches,” Thanos gently shut the door behind him. He paused, before opening it yet again and allowing Hopper into the room. I would have laughed at the look on his face, had I not been so distraught. “I suspect my memories won’t remain in your head forever.”

“They’d better fucking not.” I watched Thanos set the tea on the bedside table. He joined me on the bed, resting one huge palm against my stomach. 

“I do hope your opinion of me hasn’t changed.”

“I mean, you’re a shitty person with a lot of fucking issues.”

“Yet you still choose to share my bed?”

“I also am a shitty person with a lot of fucking issues.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I have a fetish for big purple aliens who can wipe out half the universe. Maybe I just have nothing to lose, and I’m a needy bitch who loves attention. The brain is a weird fucking place.”

Thanos huffed. “Humans are even stranger than I imagined.”

“I’m technically not human anymore so...can’t really say that.”

“You’re still driven by cultural customs. Human society has shaped who you are,” Thanos murmured. It took me a second, but I suddenly realized he was playing with what little tufts of curly hair I had on my head. I resisted the urge to giggle. 

“That didn’t drive you away?”

Thanos didn’t reply, and he seemed flustered. My smile widened and I sat up. I was still at a height disadvantage, but I was able to press my hand against his chest. I cooed, “Oh my God. Wait. So you admit you don’t find human culture gross?”

“I have no reason to. I’m puzzled as to what exactly has you so thrilled.”

“I didn’t want to say shit because I didn’t want to sound weird, but have you ever listened to Beyonce?”

_ Why….the FUCK would he have ever listened to Beyonce? _

“No.”

“You’re probably an oldies guy. Hall and Oates? ACDC? Bowie?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“No, no, here. Next time I go grocery shopping, I’ll swing by one of the department stores and see what I can find. I’ll find something you like.” I smirked. “And then you can force me to do stuff from your planet. Like, what you guys did for fun.”

“I haven’t played Titan games in a millenia.” Thanos ducked his head, and I saw, for a brief second, a warm smile on his face. “I spent a majority of my childhood inside, researching.”

“Same. I wrote and stuff. Played video games. I only had like, two close friends. I was an only child, too.” 

“As was I.”

I reached over and grabbed the tea Thanos had brought, sitting with my legs crossed. Thanos’ posture was relaxed, and he seemed at ease. Truly at ease. He was always so tense, even while he slept, his body on alert for any signs of danger. 

“So, why did you kidnap kids and force them to fight each other? On Earth that’s illegal.”

“I saved my children and turned them into warriors. All of them. My training kept them alive.”

“Except for Gamora.” I cringed at how nonchalant my words sounded. “I see her a lot, in your memories. I saw you kill her.”

Remarkably, Thanos didn’t get mad and strangle me. He watched me sip my tea, nonexistent brows furrowed. 

“It was...required.”

“It still hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Every day. The pain is unimaginable.” 

“Should have thought about that before you threw her off a cliff for a dope space rock.”

“I was thinking about the greater good of the galaxy. Gamora did not die in vain,” Thanos hissed. “You  _ must _ understand that.”

“I do. When I see your memories, I feel  _ you _ . I feel _ everything _ . That still doesn’t make it right,” I replied. 

“It was necessary,” Thanos murmured. “My reward was you.”

He took my hand and squeezed. I slouched against his chest, feeling his lips against the top of my head. He held me like that for a long moment, and I couldn’t help but glance up into his hazel eyes.

“I know you can feel love. You felt it for Gamora, but you killed her and abused her anyway.”

“Are you asking if I can love you?”

“I’m asking if you can love me like a regular person does. Not because I’m...becoming like you, or because I follow you, or because you’re looking for someone to use and throw away.”

“You saw my memories. You know the answer to that.”

He was right.

“Okay,” I murmured. “Okay. I...I care about you. I don’t want you to go back down that path-”

“I won’t, little Terran.” Thanos pressed a kiss atop my head. “And you wouldn’t let me.”


	9. Confinement

I woke before Thanos, finding myself sprawled across his naked chest, my lips pressed against his shoulder. I left languid, soft kisses against his rough skin before reaching his mouth. 

“I’m awake,” he murmured, keeping his eyes closed. 

“Good. Feed Hopper for me - I’m going to the store. I’ll bring back lunch.” I pecked him on the lips twice before crawling from the bed, quickly dressing before heading off in the old truck that had once belonged to…

_ Well. You know.  _

I’d gotten to the point where I barely even thought about them. Their pictures still hung on the wall - I hadn’t the courage to try and customize the house. That little nagging feeling in the back of my mind prevented me from doing anything, just in case. Just in case they popped back up.

_ Not gonna happen. _

I hit the sprawling department store first, which was typically the only place I went. I anticipated crowds, and I anticipated for the produce to be low. Surprisingly, it wasn’t dwindling. They’d restocked - a miracle, if I ever saw one. 

They had a music section. I nearly tripped over my own heels when I remembered the conversation I’d had with Thanos. 

_ Oh, he’s going to so hate you for this. _

_ Good. _

I grabbed four or five CDs, fairly certain that I looked like a giddy schoolgirl. The tired-looking cashier shot me a small smile before checking out my items and sending me on my way. I got halfway across the parking lot before I stopped.

_ Shit. _

I didn’t have time to move. My footsteps must have alerted the cops - two tall, heavy set men with hostile demeanors. They were examining the truck - a truck that, of course, didn’t belong to me at all. I saw their police cruiser parked a few spots away, narrowing my eyes at the text scrawled across its side. 

These weren’t county cops. Which meant that my chances of simply smiling my way out of things were slim to none. 

I tried it, anyway.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” 

“Is this your truck?” 

“N-Yes.”

I was close enough to see their name tags. Bradley and Bishop. Both B’s. That would be easy to remember.

“If you don’t mind, we’d like to see some registration. We have a lot of folks driving stolen cars, living in stolen houses...the state wants to start cracking down on that kind of thing. The sooner we can get things back in order, the easier things will be,” Bishop explained.

I blinked. I probably stood there for a good five seconds trying to comprehend what he’d said before snapping back into it and saying, “Registration...like...what kind.” 

“License and registration.”

Bradley was looking at me funny. I didn’t like it. I was shifting back and forth from one foot to the other as if I had to pee. 

_ Maybe that’s a valid excuse.  _

“Ma’am?” Bishop implored.

“Yeah, yeah. I got that. Uh,” I hurriedly unlocked the car, tossing my grocery bags into the passenger's seat and freeing up my hands. Half of my body hung out of the car as I pretended to search for my papers, knowing damn well that the moment they compared my license to whoever the fuck owned this car, I’d be screwed. 

_ Fight. _

_ No! Don’t attack a cop you moron- _

_ “Oh, yeah. You're much more of a Thanos." _

_ "I take it that Maw is dead? This day extracts a heavy toll. Still, he accomplished his mission." _

_ "You may regret that. He brought you face-to-face with the Master of the Mystic Arts.” _

_ "Where do you think he brought you?" _

_ "Let me guess. Your home?" _

I staggered back. I must have slammed into one of the cops by accident because someone hollered in alarm. 

“Whoa!”

_ "It was. And it was beautiful. Titan was like most planets. Too many mouths, not enough to go around. And when we faced extinction, I offered a solution." _

_ "Genocide?" _

_ "At random. Dispassionate, fair. The rich and poor alike. And they called me a madman. And what I predicted, came to pass." _

_ "Congratulations. You're a prophet." _

_ "I'm a survivor."  _

This was a shitty, shitty time to be having flashbacks. I was on the asphalt, head buried in my hands as I tried to ride out the memory, which gave the State Troopers a perfect opportunity to find my registration for me. I heard the rustling of papers and one of them - Bishop, I think - curse. 

My first instinct was to run. I listened to it. 

Bad idea.

_ “Hey!” _

I was still unsteady on my feet, and I drunkenly made it about five feet before a taser sent me sprawling onto the ground. The initial shock hurt, but my body quickly recovered, though not before someone was screaming in my ear to stay down, don’t move, don’t move or we’ll shoot -

_ You can kill them. _

I didn’t. Even as I was handcuffed and pressed against the police cruiser, I didn’t fight back. The one time I  _ wasn’t  _ helpless. 

_ Bide your time. Killing them won’t solve anything.  _

_ As if you have the guts to take a life in the first place. _

“I’ll have someone come pick up the truck,” Bradley said. “Let’s get her in and ask her some questions.”

“You could have asked me some questions right here? Don’t I have, you know, rights?”

“It doesn’t work like that anymore, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

_ Well, shit. _

* * *

_ On a level of one to ten, how pissed are you? _

_ Eleven _ .

I should have been back with Thanos and Hopper. I should have been popping in a Beyonce CD and rocking out and forcing Thanos to dance with me, but I wasn’t. I was in fucking police station, still fucking handcuffed like some sort of criminal.

_ You are a criminal. You stole a car. And a house. And you fucked an alien, which isn’t illegal, though it probably will be after this. _

I’d blown it, not only for myself, but for Thanos. There was no way we could live on that farm anymore. We’d have to move, again, and probably leave Hopper behind. 

“So _you’re_ the one who caused all that mayhem four counties over.”

I didn’t look up. I didn’t acknowledge the unfamiliar voice - a mistake that cost me. A sharp smack to the side of my head jolted me back into reality. The man standing in front of me was uniformed, with a nasty scowl on his face. 

“You’re not supposed to hit people.”

“Yeah, sure. You think they’ll fire me? I can do whatever the hell I want with you and nobody would bat an eye.” He knelt down in front of me. “I’m the one in charge here. You’ll have to take things up with the feds. You’ve been on their hit list for the past month.”

I was finally able to read his tag. Grayson. When I looked into his eyes, I saw nothingness. Just and empty look devoid of any real emotions. 

_ The cops that are left ain’t cops anymore. _

“Where’s your friend? The purple guy?”

“I don’t have a purple friend.”

“So I’m assuming the pictures we got were photoshopped? Someone took all that time, in the midst of all this shit, to frame you? Sounds unlikely.”

When I didn’t reply, Grayson sighed and stood. He pinched the bridge of his nose, pacing back and forth. I could see one hand lingering over his gun - he was still on edge, still cautious. I could make a run for it, but I didn’t want to risk getting shot. Again.

“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to talk. In about five hours the feds will be here to haul your sorry ass away for questioning.” Grayson shrugged. “I just get the credit for capturing you.”

“I bet this is the most exciting moment in your entire career,” I said mockingly. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Watch your mouth. You really don’t want to piss me off.”

I smirked, ducking my head and resisting the urge to egg him on even more. My muscles began to cramp, so I attempted some half-hearted stretches that were nearly impossible to do with my hands chained behind my back. After, I could only stare up at the ceiling and pray Thanos somehow found me.

Three hours passed. Then five. I could see a black sedan pull into the parking lot of the police station - a smartly dressed blonde woman stepped out first, followed by a face I’d seen plastered all over television and magazines and posters -

“Holy shit it's Tony Stark,” I heard Bishop stammer from his desk. “Holy shit, holy  _ shit, _ ” he furiously began making his workplace as presentable as possible, and I snorted. 

Stark wasn’t with the feds - right? I didn’t know about the woman beside him, but she seemed attentive and on edge. Her eyes scanned the room, landing on me last. Her piercing stare made me feel as if I were coming face to face with a dangerous wild predator. 

While Bishop and Bryant gawked, Grayson seemed immediately skeptical. He looked Stark up and down before saying exactly what I was thinking. “You aren’t with the feds.”

“I’m not, she is,” Stark said dryly, jerking his thumb at the blonde woman by his side. “I sent myself as backup. Because, you know, I can do that.”

“You’re no authorized to talk with her.”

“You aren’t authorized to talk with me, but here we are, breaking the rules.” When Grayson didn’t budge, Stark sighed and mumbled, “Fine. Fine, we’ll do this the hard way.”

Stark grabbed Grayson by the arm. The man spasmed and dropped - I didn’t see what the blonde woman did, but in about three second Bishop and Bryant were out cold on the ground while the woman simply rolled her shoulders. 

“I did  _ not  _ want to do that,” Stark sighed. His companion didn’t seem as reluctant, and she deftly slipped off her heels, letting out a groan of contentment. “Oh, right, the kid. Can’t forget her.”

Running wasn’t an option. I had a weird feeling that one of Stark’s fancy suits was outside, somewhere, waiting. 

“Rachel, right?” The woman helped me stand, sliding around so she could undo my handcuffs. Stark looked wary, but still with his arms crossed. There was a slight look of hostility on his face.

“Yeah. That’s my, uh, name.”

“I’m Natasha.”

“You know who I am,” Stark waved a hand. “Where’s your big, purple BFF?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied nonchalantly. “I don’t know anyone that’s purple-”

“His name is Thanos, and he’s responsible for wiping out half the universe. Does that ring a bell?” Stark took a step forward. “You know about the Avengers, right? Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and all that bullshit? You want to know how many of us are left?”

“Tony-,” Natasha began.

“ _ Not a lot _ ,” Stark growled.

My shoulder’s tensed and I felt Natasha gently guide me away, towards the door. Her grip was comforting, but powerful. We bypassed the unconscious bodies of Bishop and Bryant, making our way towards the sedan. 

Finally, I said, “I don’t know where Thanos went. He and I split up a few weeks ago. He probably went to find a ship, maybe go to another planet.”  
“We haven’t detected any ships leaving Earth’s atmosphere,” Natasha said, her grip on me tightening. “Listen, we have a lot to talk about. But not here.”

“Where?” 

“You’ll see.”


	10. Killing Blow

_"He mourns."_

_"What does this monster have to mourn?"_

_"Gamora. He took her to_ Vormir _He came back with the Soul Stone, she didn't."_

_"Okay, Quill, you gotta cool it right now, you understand? Don't, don't engage, we almost got this off!"_

_"Tell me she's lying, asshole! Tell me you didn't do it!"_

_"I had to."_

_"No, you didn't. No, you didn't."_

I was crying. There was so much pain in Thanos’ voice and in his body and mind. I felt all of it, and I heard all of it. Stark’s voice, and the voices of his companions, were distant.

“What the hell is wrong with her?”

“I don’t know, Rhodes.”

“Get her restrained. Have Bruce take a look at her.”

These voices were unfamiliar, but real. I was in a daze - I was at the Avenger’s headquarters. What should have been a moment of awe and wonder was something of fear, pain, and desperation. I didn’t have time to admire the halls or bask in the fact that I was with _them_. The Avengers.

Or, what was left of them.

Natasha hadn’t left my side. I could tell it was intentional - she was trying to keep me calm, keep me focused. I felt as if a billion eyes were on me, and we entered what I assumed to be the lab with haste. A curly-haired man with glasses was waiting, a grimace on his weathered face.

“Someone hold her down - she’s _strong_.”

“I have her.”

“Be careful, Thor.”

After a few minutes of tediously trying to get me to lay down on one of the tables, I obeyed. I was immediately restrained. I didn’t really have the energy to protest, and instead let it happen.

I counted seven figures.

Thor, Captain America, Stark, Natasha, a dark-skinned man with a brace around his waist and legs, the man with the curly hair, and -

“Excuse me is that a _fucking_ raccoon?”

“A rabbit,” Thor corrected me. He was still wrong. I didn’t have the strength to point that out.

“I ain’t none of those things, jeez. Can you go ahead and start poking and prodding at her. Maybe that’ll get her to shut up.”

The raccoon _fucking talked?_

“I’m having a fever dream,” I giggled. “This isn’t fucking real. I’m having a dream.”

“Oh, this is real,” Thor snarled. “You stink of... _him_.”

“Who?” I said sharply.

“ _Thanos_. The Mad Titan.”

The room went silent. I lifted my head a bit and saw the raccoon - the fucking raccoon - looking at me like _I_ was the weird one. My eyes flitted to Natasha, who seemed the most sympathetic of them all.

“I...I just want to go home.”

The curly-haired man took a seat in one of the chairs, rolling up to my side. He removed his glasses and said softly, “My name is Bruce Banner. I’m going to take a look at you, draw some blood.” He glanced around, waving a hand at his teammates. “Guys, give her some space. She’s nervous for a reason.”

The raccoon was the first and quickest to leave. The rest looked hesitant, but backed off and headed into another room, save for Natasha, who stayed by my side. I gave a sigh of relief, finally feeling like I could breathe again.

“How did you guys find me? Why did you find me? Why am I here?” I blurted.

“Local police sent pictures of you and...Thanos to the feds. We caught wind of it, though it would be better to get to you before anyone else,” Natasha explained. “They wouldn’t have gotten much out of you.”

I saw Bruce rearranging some needles, and I gulped. “Listen, it’s...it’s a long story.”

“We have time,” Natasha said gently. “We aren’t going to hurt you. That’s not what we do.”

“ _Unless_ ,” Bruce adjusted the needle, “You give us a reason to.”

“Right. But I have a feeling you’re smart.”

I winced as Bruce slid the needle beneath my skin. My first spurt of blood was red, but it slowly began changing into a magenta color, much to Bruce’s horror.

“Uh...what is this?” Bruce stared down at the vial.

“I told you. It’s a _long_ story.”

* * *

 “I got shot,” I explained. I was sitting before, once again, the committee. The seven figures in front of me had varying looks on their faces - shock, anger, confusion, curiosity, and a combination of all four. I couldn’t gauge what the raccoon - or, Rocket, as he’d yelled for me to call him - was feeling. “Thanos gave me a blood transfusion. And now I can see his memories, I’m stronger, I won’t age…”

“His blood did all of that?” Steve Rogers raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Thor. The thunder god was the most jittery and angry of them all, rubbing his beard and staring at me with unblinking eyes.

“He did not perish from Stormbreakers blow?” Thor asked.

“Almost. He was too weak to even move when he got to my house. He slept on my couch for two days. Even then, he’s weak…”

“Weak enough to hold you hostage,” Thor said, “and make you do his bidding. Did he threaten you with death, or promise you power?”

“Neither.”

“You let him stay with you...for what? Did he pay rent? Did he do the dishes and the laundry, cleaned your house?” Stark shrugged.

There was no point in lying. “No,” I said. “I let him stay because I’m _such_ a good person. I didn’t want to say no. And at first, I didn’t know who he was or what he’d done.”

“Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it?” Stark mumbled. “So you got shot, he gave you his blood...at any point did you consider going to the authorities?”

“No.”

“You wanted to protect him?” Thor narrowed his eyes, and I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. He stepped forward, and I knew that if for some reason, somehow, he were to become enraged...I was _fucked._

I squeezed my eyes shut, a dullness my chest, a heaviness I’d never felt before. Bruce studied me carefully, while Natasha glanced over at him with a discomforting expression on her face.

“I didn’t...I didn’t report him because I knew he’d kill me if I even tried. I don’t know. I don’t have an explanation for it,” I gulped. “He still has those stones or whatever, and that gauntlet. But he can’t use it - not yet, at least.”

“Those stones, that gauntlet,” Steve said slowly, “That’s what he used to wipe out half the universe.”

I nodded. Thanos’ memories had allowed me to piece it all together. The instrument of destruction had been sitting under my nose, all along. Sitting here beneath the scrutinizing gaze of the Avengers let me know just how badly I’d fucked up.

_Do you regret it?_

“That gauntlet is fried. Whatever you plan on doing with it _won’t_ work,” I said softly. “I’ve seen it. That thing can’t be wielded by a human being. Or a super soldier. Or a god, for that matter. There’s _nothing_ any of you can do.”

“So we should just give up?” Rhodey spoke up. He’d been listening intently, standing in the corner and leaning against the wall. “That’s it? That’s what you’re telling us?” 

“I’m saying that even if you were to kill Thanos and get those stones, you couldn’t _use_ them. The Power Stone alone can’t even be touched. You’d need to go back into space and find somewhere to forge another gauntlet,” I stressed. “Then you could use all the stones in tandem and do whatever the fuck you’re planning on doing.”

“You almost _died_ making that axe of yours,” Rocket jerked his head towards Thor. “I wasn’t looking forward to that trip, and I ain’t looking forward to a second one.” 

“There has to be something-”

“There’s _nothing_ ,” I cut Bruce off, my words harsh. “It’s over. I’ve accepted that, and I’ve moved on. I...I stayed with Thanos because he and I had something. We still do. I know it sounds crazy, and I know he’s crazy, but I didn’t have anyone before he showed up. Now we’re...I don’t know, _happy_?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re screwing the giant-purple-genocidal-alien man, please, for the love of _everything_.” Stark ran a hand down his face. He turned away, as if embarrassed to even look at me.

“ _That_ is none of your business. What, you think I’m not weirded out by it? I am. Everyday, I’m weirded out. But it happens.”

The heaviness in my chest returned, along with a sharp pain in my head. I couldn’t lift my arms to hold it, so I winced and squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them, Thor was closer.

Something was different.

He was dirty, face streaked with blood, human and alien. The air stank of burning flesh and trees. The sounds of battle were deafening, but even louder was my own groaning - Thanos’ groaning.

I glanced down at the huge axe buried in my chest.

_“I told you, you’d die for that.”_

He went to push the axe deeper into my chest and I screamed, the pain searing, unbearable. I couldn’t breathe or speak. I lashed out and felt my fist strike something solid, but that did not deter the figure in front of me.

“Rachel! Rachel, _stop it_ -”

Natasha was shaking me. Tony and Rhodey were practically smothering me, trying to keep me pinned down.

“Bruce, buddy, find something and put her to sleep, please!”

I stared into Thor’s eyes. His face was flushed, and he was trying to speak. The hand - my hand - wrapped around his throat was keeping him from saying a word.

_He hurt me. He hurt me._

In Thanos’ brain, Thor was the enemy. I could feel Thanos’ desperate urge to lash out, so I did.

I started to squeeze. Thor let out a choked cry.

_He hurt you._

“Rachel, listen, you _need_ to let go of Thor-”

“Bruce,” Stark was struggling to hold me down. “How’s it coming?” 

“I’m looking for it!”

I was staring into the eyes of the enemy. _This_ was the enemy. The man who’d buried an axe in my chest was here, and at my mercy once again.

_“You should have gone for the head.”_

The snap I heard was not from the memory. Real pain shot from my fingers, through my arm and into my brain. I released Thor immediately as Steve backed away, shield in hand. I hadn’t even seen him grab it from the corner and use it to simply break my arm.

“Found it!” Bruce held up a syringe.

By the time he injected me, I was already screaming.


	11. Junkyard Bash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the reviews and comments! I really appreciate them all - I'm having a blast writing this, and I'm actually almost finished with the final part (we still gots a lot - and I mean a lot - more to go, I just tend to write really far ahead before I start posting, so I'll have time to edit/change things if need be.
> 
> Anywho, enjoy!

My arm would heal, but my spirits would not. 

Thor had a red welt around his neck, and his voice sounded hoarse. He was the only one left in the room, much to my chagrin, and the one in charge of guarding me for the time being. This time, he was armed. The axe in his hand glinted, and each time it moved past me I felt a small twinge of static. 

I was sitting in the corner, now, my head ducked and my arm in a makeshift sling. It was already healing, but the process would still take some time. 

_ You almost choked out the God of Thunder. _

_ Yeah. That’s not something to be proud about. _

I gulped. For the thousandth time, I voiced my apologies to Thor. And for the thousandth time, he replied with a nod and a grunt. 

“You should just kill me and get it over with.”

“No.”

I stared. Thor’s jaw was set, his eyes hooded as he stared down at me. 

“I’m sorry about...Loki,” I said softly.

“He told you about that?”

“I saw it,” I gnawed on my lower lip. “I saw everything. Loki-”

Flickers of blue crawled along the edge of Stormbreaker. Thor moved with blinding speed - one moment I was sitting, the next I was against the wall, held up by the collar of my shirt. 

None of that mattered. I felt no fear.

“You will  _ never  _ speak my brother’s name again. Do you understand?”

“He gave up the Tesseract to save your life. I watched him do it. I also watched him take orders from Thanos and decimate Manhattan,” I said. Thor’s eyes narrowed, and I continued. “Yet he still changed. Those people that died in New York aren’t coming back. The families that perished because of him aren’t coming back. Yet he still changed-”

“You are nothing but a pawn to Thanos, just as Loki was,” Thor snarled. “He will use you, and then discard you like nothing.”

“I’ve seen what he’s capable of. I’ve seen what he’s done. I know you want him to pay for killing Loki, and he will, but not in death. Please. He’s all I have, and I’m all he has.”

Thor sighed, letting Stormbreaker rest against the wall before releasing me. I slid to the floor, tugging my knees against my chest. He knelt, raising a finger.

“If you so much _think_ about harming anyone in this facility, I will kill you.”

“I know.”

“Good. Now stand - Stark wishes to see you.”

* * *

_ He won’t give up those stones. _

_ Not even for you. _

“If we send the big guy a message, do you think he’ll respond?” Stark glanced at me, and then at Steve. “Like, ASAP?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Stark repeated my words, throwing up his hands. “Listen, all we want is for you to work with us. It’s not  _ that  _ hard. It’s a yes or no answer-”

“We want to avoid as much bloodshed as possible. No one has to get hurt. Once we get those stones, you’ll be left alone,” Steve said simply. “You have our word.”

I looked back and forth between each of the present Avengers. Bruce, wiping his glasses on his coat. Tony, glaring. Natasha, a look of pity on her beautiful face. Rocket, sneering. Steve, determined, and Thor,  _ angry. _

“We’re just handing her away? To him?” Thor growled. “This is an opportunity to strike. To right what Thanos has done wrong!”

“That won’t bring Sam back, or Bucky, or Wanda or Vision,” Steve snapped. “And I won’t risk any more lives. We’ve already lost too much.”

“Trust me, Rogers, I know,” Thor mumbled. He ducked his head, turning away. “You’ve proven yourself a capable and noble leader, however I still question your decisions.”

“What do you want those stones for?” I mustered up the strength to ask. All eyes were on me, and I looked around, incredulous. “I already told you, that gauntlet is fried! How the hell are you going to use them together? _If_ you’re even going to use them together.”

“We’ll build a new gauntlet,” Tony said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Can’t be _ that  _ hard.”

“I told you, Thanos’ gauntlet was used by harnessing the power of a goddamn star-”

“We don’t need a star,” Tony interrupted. “Trust me. We’ll figure something out. Winging it is kind of our forte.”

“Winging shit with Thanos isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“See, that is where you’re wrong. This time, we have a secret weapon.” Tony pointed, “ _ You _ .”

* * *

Thanos had agreed to meet with us, and had relayed the message via landline - I’d been kind enough to simply give Steve the home phone number to the ranch after Thor had suggested we’d send a messenger raven to deliver our proposition. After a lengthy discussion, Steve had marched back in and declared that it was “On.”

Tony and Bruce headed to a place called Wakanda in order to gather materials for the new gauntlet, while everyone else took to guarding me. The flight on the Quinjet was long, awkward, and filled with silence. Only Natasha made a move to ensure that I was alright, checking on my arm and making sure that I was comfortable for the ride.

“There’s another way. If this isn’t what you want-”

“There’s no other way, Natasha. This is our only chance to get those stones,” Rhodey, fully geared up in his suit, murmured. He glanced down at me and added, “I’m sorry.”  
“As long as no one gets hurt,” I replied, “I’m game.”

Natasha knelt in front of me. After a long pause, she said, “Listen. I know you think that you’re broken, and alone...but you’re not. I promise you. Whatever happens, just know that you have to look out for  _ you _ .”

“I feel like you’re the only one here that doesn’t hate me.”

“Nobody hates you. Thor is just a little...tense, and Tony is like that towards everybody.”

“I just...I’m tired, Natasha. I’m tired of all this death and destruction. I don’t want Thanos to die, and I don’t want any of you to die-”

“None of us will die. I promise. All we need you to do is work with us.”

I nodded. It was easier said than done, and I could feel Thor’s caustic stare on me.

An old, sprawling junkyard was our meeting place. There had to be metal for at least a mile, old cars and appliances stacked on top of one another, like some sort of gross city. I was forced from the Quinjet and held by Thor, who kept Stormbreaker uneasily close to my face. Steve dropped behind us, followed by Natasha, Rhodey, and Rocket, while the Quinjet hovered on autopilot above.

Thanos was already waiting for us, perched atop a pile of crushed vehicles. His hand sported the blackened and battered infinity gauntlet, some of the stones still faintly glowing. I wondered just how much power the device still had, if any. 

“You’re here early. I didn’t think you’d show.” Steve peered up at Thanos. There was a light breeze, and my enhanced sense smell could most definitely tell that it was about to rain. The atmosphere was eerie, and the junkyard was depressingly silent. 

Thanos seemed bored. He waved a hand and replied, “You have something of mine. I want it back.”

“The minute that gauntlet is off, you can have her.” Steve glanced over at me. “Go slow, and we’ll meet in the middle. Thor?”

The god snorted, grasping me roughly by the collar. Thanos hopped down from his seat, standing tall and, to my disbelief, he removed the gauntlet as instructed. When he walked, Thor and I walked, each step calculated and methodical. I felt Thor’s hold on me loosen a bit as we drew closer to Thanos, until we were nearly toe to toe.

“The gauntlet,  _ beast _ ,” Thor growled. “Now.”

Thanos didn’t move. His attention was on me, brows furrowed. In a low voice, he said, “Your arm.”

I huffed and removed the sling, tossing it to the ground. The limb was still sore and bruised, but I could move it. “I’m fine.”

Thor seemed impatient. When I glanced back, Steve and the others were on edge. I saw Natasha’s fingers twitch, palm hovering over her gun. I turned back to Thanos, debating whether or not to just plead with him. The gauntlet was there, hanging from between his fingers, yet he made no move to hand it over. 

“A shame that weapon of yours wasn’t present when I snapped your brothers neck. You could have killed me right then and there. It must hurt to know how miserably you failed.”

I nearly choked on my own spit. Thor grabbed me suddenly. He raised Stormbreaker, letting it hover an inch from my throat. In a low voice, he snarled, “Hand over the gauntlet or her head rolls.”

“Thor,” Steve called, “Stand down! If you kill her, we have nothing-”

“Your master speaks. You’d do best to obey.”

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  _

The sneer on Thanos’ face was grotesque, his tone mocking. I could feel Thor’s hand trembling, causing Stormbreaker to falter a bit. Static made the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. 

“I have no master.”

“I should have killed you. That was my mistake. Your brother was far more intelligent, far more sly. Despite his countless failures, he was still motivated, even as I crushed his throat. And most of all, he aimed for the head.”

I was tossed to the side like a rag doll. I hit the dirt, quickly scrambling to my feet. I briefly saw Thanos slip the gauntlet back on, a wide smile on his face as Thor attacked. The god was driven by sheer rage alone. Thanos was in control, careful and aware. 

I looked over my shoulder. Steve and the others were running, weapons raised. Natasha met my gaze, and I briefly considered surrendering.

Briefly.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” I cursed and headed towards Thor. He was mid-swing when I leaped, and I nearly caught the sharp end of Stormbreaker. I managed to twist my body and catch him off guard. Electricity danced up my arms and down my legs, but it did not incapacitate me. We landed amongst the stacks of discarded metal parts, the sheer force of the impact, combined with Thor’s lightning, caused an explosion that rocked everything around us.

Fire engulfed my body, but I felt no pain. I had about a minute to stand up before Thor shot through the flames like a bullet and quite literally knocked me into the air. 

_ Ouch. _

My eyes took in what was happening far faster than I could have ever imagined. I saw Steve, Rhodey, Rocket, and Natasha unsuccessfully trying to take down Thanos. When I turned my attention back to Thor, I narrowly avoided a strike from Stormbreaker. The sharp edge of the axe grazed my cheek, drawing a ribbon of blood. 

I landed atop one of the few fully intact vehicles in the junkyard. Glass shattered and the tires popped and sagged. I rolled off just as Thor brought Stormbreaker down and obliterated the car into nothingness. 

It dawned on me, then, that he was trying to kill me.

Like, not maim or render unconscious. It also dawned on me that I had Thanos’ strength and speed and that I could go on the offense. Which, in itself, seemed like a poor decision considering that Thor had a millennia of training compared to me. I only knew the rules of street fighting.

_ Fight dirty.  _

_ There’s a start. _

I spotted a refrigerator door buried beneath other debris. I grabbed it by the handle and simply flung it like a frisbee at Thor, catching him off guard. The impact knocked him back almost ten meters. Of course, he shook it off and and tackled me like a linebacker, but it was worth it. 

Rain had started to fall, transforming the dirt around us into slick mud. I couldn’t see Thanos, but I could hear his grunt and groans as he fended off his attackers. 

I was lifted like a rag doll again and basically suplexed into the ground. The curse I let out must have been loud, for it attracted Thanos’ attention. I saw him out of the corner of my eye toss Steve to the side before approaching, teeth bared.

“I got this, I got it,” I choked. “ _ Thanos _ -”

Thanos punched Thor so hard that the god left a human shaped imprint in the ground. When Thor didn’t rise, he grabbed him by the arm and flung him halfway across the junkyard where he landed and disappeared from sight. He then turned and growled at an approaching figure. Natasha. 

Mud adorned her face, and she could barely stand, yet she addressed me with confidence.

“Don’t do this.”

Blood dripped into my eyes, and I wiped it away. Before I could reply, Thanos took a step forward. I grabbed him before he could attack, planting my feet firmly on the ground in hopes that he would stop.

He did.

“No,” I murmured. “We’re leaving.” Then, towards Natasha, I said, “I’m sorry.”

It was a weak apology, and Natasha’s shoulders sagged. She sunk to her knees, unable to put weight on her left ankle. She watched Thanos and I leave, and that look of determination never left her face. 

“Come,” Thanos said. “We are going  _ home _ .”


	12. Stay

Hopper greeted us enthusiastically, and I took the time to sit on the front porch, out of the rain, so that I could pet him. Thanos only shot me a glance before disappearing into the house without a word. 

Something was _off_ with him. 

My fight with Thor had left my clothes in tatters, singed and hanging from my body. My skin bore only a few marks of abuse, the rest having been absorbed by my tough alien skin. Even then, I felt as if I’d been put through a blender. I could only imagine how Thanos felt.

The ranch was quiet, and the rain was now only a soft mist. I ran fingers through my wet hair, removing my shoes at the entrance before heading straight upstairs to the master bedroom. Thanos had stripped, tossing his wet clothes into the laundry basket. My eyes travelled across the scars and fresh scratches across his broad chest, and I shivered. 

We showered together, letting the steam fill the room, basking in the warmth of the water and letting it soothe our muscles. We didn’t speak, but I could sense a tenderness in Thanos that hadn’t been present when we’d first entered the house. He’d relaxed, letting his guard down a bit. 

The minute we’d exited the shower, dried off, and dressed, I said, “Why are you so quiet?” 

“I simply have nothing to say.”

“That’s….unusual. Something’s wrong. I can sense it.”

“The authorities came looking for you. They knocked, and I answered,” Thanos glanced down at me. “I disposed of the corpses about a mile into the forest.”

I blinked. Thanos was serious, yet I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the revelation. 

“Thanos, you can’t...you have to stop killing-”

“I was defending myself. I did not strike first - trust me.” Thanos sat on the edge of the bed. “They won’t be bothering us again, and neither will the Avengers.”

“I can’t believe you agreed to even meet up in that junkyard.”

“Why exactly does that surprise you?” Thanos cocked a brow. 

I felt put on the spot. Hardly able to look him in the eye, I shrugged. “I just...I didn’t think you’d risk it. I didn’t think you’d try and actually get me back.”

“I had no intention of handing over the stones, but I also had no intention of allowing them to have you. You are valuable to me.” Thanos extended a hand. “I will  _ not  _ lose you.”

“If you give them the stones, they’ll let you live. They’ll let us live, and we can find a ship, and we can-”

“You believe that? You truly believe that after everything, I’d be allowed to remain alive?”

I paused. I pinched the bridge of my nose as Thanos continued. “I told you, I am fully prepared to face the consequences that come with balancing the universe. However, you are just as important to me as these stones. Losing them means that I will lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

“Yet I almost did, just now.” Thanos stared at his clenched fist, before his eyes fell on the gauntlet sitting on the bedside table. He finally reached out and pulled me against him, murmuring, “You are so very precious to me.”

“I feel the same way about you. But I can’t...I can’t have you killing people and fighting people...I can’t do it. I can’t. All this pain, all the people that have suffered…”

“They did not suffer. Their deaths were quick and painless, the epitome of merciful. I did what no one else would, and I was destined to find you.” Thanos took my face between his big hands. I could feel wetness in the corners of my eyes, and I sniffed as he planted harsh, hungry kisses against my parted lips, which I returned with vigor.

_ What is wrong with you? _

_ You’re kissing a madman.  _

I was, and it was tender, and sweet, and kind. 

_ You’re a madman. _

“I love you, little Terran. You are my greatest treasure, and I will cherish you until I draw my last breath,” Thanos murmured against my lips. “I need to hear it from you.”

_ You’re a madman. _

“I do. I love you and it hurts.” I rested my head against Thanos’ shoulder. ‘“I know I shouldn’t. I know I’m going to hell, but I can’t help it.”

Thanos shushed me, lips grazing the shell of my ear. “Learn to let go. You are my goddess and my queen. Only mortals believe in hell.” He moved and pressed his forehead against mine. “Look at me.”

I did. Caramel colored eyes met mine. 

“I wiped half the universe clean and prepared it for a new beginning. If you are ashamed of how you feel, walk away. Do not venture down this path.”

“I can’t. I won’t. I want you, I do.” Wetness seeped from between my legs. I sounded like a beggar. “Please. I accept it. I don’t care anymore. I can’t.”

“Will you bear my children?” 

“Yes.” 

“Will you stay by my side and remain faithful?” 

“ _ Yes _ .”

“Good. As will I. Now strip for me.”

* * *

“I squeezed the headboard so hard that I twisted it.” I craned my neck, reaching up to run my fingers across the smooth metal. The once ornate design was now twisted beyond recognition, and I grimaced. “Good thing we don’t have to pay for any of this.”

Thanos hummed. His eyes fluttered shut once more, and I felt the bed dip a bit as he shifted a bit. He lied, legs dangling off the bed, with his head resting atop my stomach. I wouldn’t lie. He’d fucked me into oblivion, reducing me to a tired, drunken state. 

And I’d loved every second of it.

I glanced down as Thanos pressed a lazy kiss against my skin, making his way towards my mouth. “Is my goddess sated?”

“Maybe,” I said cheekily. Thanos braced a forearm next to my head, his big body hovering over me. “I’m stronger now. You might be the one struggling to keep up.”

“Those are dangerous words to speak around me. I might take them as a challenge.” Thanos dipped down, brushing his lips across my breasts. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” I breathed. 

“Can you beg for it? Tell me what you want?”

“I want you.”

“Be more specific.”

“I need you inside me. I want it.”

My breath hitched. He’d dipped one hand between my legs, his thumb gently circling my clit. My toes curled, and I arched my back. I could feel his erection flush against my lower belly, the tip hot and leaking. I giggled, reaching down to still Thanos’ movements. 

“Turn over,” I mumbled. To my surprise, Thanos obeyed, keeping his gaze on me the entire time. I kissed the taut muscles of his chest before shimmying beneath the covers and flicking my tongue across his length. 

The noise he made would be seared into my brain forever. I wrapped my lips around the head of his dick, using my other hand to jerk him off until he was a writing, moaning mess beneath me. 

“Up here. I want to come inside you,” Thanos mumbled. I ran a finger down his length before emerging from beneath the covers. “Look at me, my goddess.”

I obeyed. He was grinning, eyes wide and lust blown. The sound of his dick slipping past my folds was lewd and nasty and I loved it. One hand squeezed my hip while the other wrapped around my throat and kept me from looking away. 

“Good girl.”

He bucked his hips and I shrieked. He did it again, and then again. I was a gasping, moaning mess, my jaw slack. My nails dug into his chest, unable to break the skin. He handled me as if I weighed as much as a feather, but I wasn’t complaining. 

There was a tightness in my lower belly, and I clenched around him. He came heavily, animalistic noises emerging from deep within his throat. I had no time to recover, or even brace myself for another round - I was flipped onto my stomach and held down by Thanos’ powerful forearm. He entered me from behind, snapping his hips forward and continuing the same brutal pace as before. 

His back pressed against my chest, his lips an inch from my ear, I could hear every deep grunt and snarl, none of it decipherable, but it didn’t matter. The haze of pleasure had taken over my mind completely, until there was only him. His voice, his hands, his cock, everything. I felt it all, and in that moment, it was the only thing that mattered.

Come spilled from my folds, trickling down my legs. Thanos pressed a wet kiss against my back, which was slick with sweat. He slowed his movements, milking every last drop of his release, as well as mine. Then he collapsed by my side, arm outstretched so he could pull me into an embrace. 

“I can’t go another round-”

“I know. You need rest,” Thanos said. “We have some things to discuss tomorrow.”

“And more sex?”

Thanos hummed, and replied, “Yes. I wish to mark you as much as I can. I want any possible suitors to know who you belong to.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I haven’t had much luck with any ‘suitors,’ especially male ones. If anything, people run from me.”

“I have had similar experiences. Yet all of the women who have shared my bed in the past did so willingly, and without coercion,” Thanos replied. “They realized that I was more than just some ghoul from Titan.”

“And that didn’t bother you? Being used because you had power?” 

“What is a whore to me, besides a simple tool? I didn’t care what their intentions were. Their opinion of me did not matter,” Thanos huffed. “Yours, however, certainly will. You are more than a warm body to satisfy me. So much more.” 

“I wish I had your confidence. Seriously.”

“As do I. You remind me of myself, back when I was young and afraid of what others thought of me.”

“I can’t say that I care what other people think...I don’t. I know that I don’t yet even before I started changing and gained all these powers, I felt like something was wrong with me. I don’t know. Like….whatever cosmic or spiritual entity created me just kind of...goofed. Like a glitch in the Matrix...but not one of those cool glitches that lets me fly and stop bullets in midair and shit.”

“You are not a ‘glitch’. I do not want to hear that kind of talk,” Thanos stroked my hair, and I snorted. He slipped from the bed, and I took a moment to ogle at his bare backside before he disappeared downstairs. A moment later Hopper came bounding into the room with his tongue hanging from his mouth. 

“Hey, buddy.” I extended my arms as the massive dog leaped onto the bed. He settled down next to me, right where Thanos would normally lie. A minute passed before the alien entered the room once more, a cup of water clutched between his hands. He took one look at Hopper and sighed. 

“The dog will have to move.”

“He can fit,” I said. “C’mon, Hopper.”

Much to Thanos’ chagrin, he did.


	13. Home

“I don’t know how to work this device.”

“You put it in the slot...thing. Don’t you have these in space?”

“I haven’t listened to any sort of music since I was a boy. Titan technology was far more advanced than this.”

I took the CD, demonstrating how to place it into the slot and close it. The minute the music started playing, Thanos tilted his head to the side and stared. I almost laughed - he looked like a big doof, shoulders sagging, brows furrowed.

“What  _ is  _ this?”

“Music.” I shrugged. “Michael Jackson. You know. King of Pop. Jackson 5….all that - you have no clue what I’m saying, do you?”

“No idea.”

“Alright, just, let it play. You’ll warm up to it.” I headed to the kitchen, adjusting my bathrobe. Thanos caught my arm and I chuckled as he lifted me without any sort of effort - something I’d never get used to - and held me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my forehead against his, humming, “Why are you being so sweet today?”

“A man can’t be kind to his wife?” Thanos murmured. “I feel...happy today. I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time.”

“Good,” I replied. “I’m glad. I’m going out this afternoon-”

“Wear a proper disguise.”

“I know.” I hopped down. “I just need to get a few things. I’ll be careful, and I’ll be back. I promise.”

I intended to keep that promise. The clothes I wore were baggy, and I tried to take advantage of the fact that I had a shorter, stocky build. With my short hair and lack of prominent breasts, I could make myself look like a boy - I hoped. The sunglasses and hat I wore was sure to pull it all together, and when I left, I shot a quick look back at Thanos. He just nodded, and then disappeared back inside the house.

I had to go on foot - I had no clue if we’d ever get the truck back. It didn’t bother me as much, and due to my enhanced stamina and durability, the walk didn’t tire me out as much as I thought it would. I arrived at the convenience store just as a few cars were pulling away, and I made sure to adjust my hat and glasses before entering. The shop owner glanced up, but didn’t seem too suspicious. I could see the barrel of a gun poking up from behind the counter, a subtle warning that I decided to heed. I didn’t want any unnecessary trouble, even though it did always seem to find me one way or another. 

_ Women’s Health. _

I hit that aisle first, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. I couldn’t help but grimace when I grabbed the pregnancy tests, more out of disbelief than anything else. I wouldn’t take them right away, but a part of me wanted to have them for later. If it ever even happened at all. 

_ Make a mental note to ask Thanos about Titan reproduction. _

I went slow, keeping the store owner in my sights. He, too, was watching me, though I knew it was out of a general suspicion. Everyone had to be cautious now. With law and order struggling to be restored, it was everyone for themselves. 

I snagged a few other supplies before heading to the counter. Using the crumpled up bills I had in my pocket, I paid, avoiding all eye contact with the cashier and hurrying back outside into the empty parking lot. I didn’t make it halfway before something heavy landed behind me.

“Headed back to your alien?”

I nearly dropped my things. It was Iron Man - or, better yet, Tony Stark suited up with his blaster aimed at my head. He kept his arm outstretched, the eyes of his suit lit. 

“I’m going  _ home _ ,” I sneered. “And you should, too.”

“That attitude won’t get you anywhere. We’re friends, right? Friends talk to each other. I’m going to lower my weapon now, and we’re going to  _ talk _ .”

I stared. Tony did exactly as he said, and I found myself squaring up with the suit itself. I said, “What do you want?”

“The stones.”

“No.”

“ _C’mon_ ,” Stark huffed. “Wait until your man is asleep, and then grab the gauntlet. Easy peasy. You’ll get a full pardon, no charges, not getting poked and prodded by the Feds and then locked up for life. You have a chance to do the right thing-”

“You have a chance to turn around and leave before I get pissed. You want those stones? Come and take them. Fight Thanos like you did on Titan. Without the gauntlet, the fight will be fair. Don’t come to me, asking me to do the work for you.”

“You really love that giant space grape, don’t you?”

“Stark,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “ _Please_.”

He went to reach for the plastic bag in my hand. Out of reflex I lurched forward and gripped his wrist, squeezing the metal so hard that it popped, showering sparks across the asphalt. I watched as the appendage dropped to the ground. 

There was no one inside the suit.

I smirked.

“Couldn’t even show up yourself, huh, Stark?”

“I’m a bit occupied at the moment. Doing important things - is that a pregnancy test?”

I rolled my eyes, backing away. The robot watched me go, and I gave it the finger. “Tell Thor I said hi. And don’t come knocking again, please. Seriously. Please don’t ruin what I have.”

“At least you  _ have _ something.”

“For once in my life.” I started walking back, glancing over my shoulder. “I’ll be damned if I let Iron Man take it away from me. Adiós, asshole.”

“I usually don’t like calling women this, but you _ truly  _ are a bitch.”

I watched the suit as it shot into the sky, disappearing into the clouds. When I took another look behind me, I could see the store owner in the shop window, staring. 

This time, he had the gun firmly gripped in his hand.

_ Guess I won’t be back here for a while. _

* * *

I didn’t mention my meeting with Stark. There was no point in riling Thanos up more, and I had no intention of grabbing those stones and making a break for it. The gauntlet itself was hidden, stuffed somewhere in the basement. Thanos hadn’t touched it since the junkyard battle, and I had a feeling he was holding off, distancing himself for some reason.

_ Get called a bitch by Tony Stark: wipe that off the bucket list. _

_ It was never on the bucket list in the first place. _

_ Shame. _

“I got stuff to make dinner. And some sweets. For you. Earth sweets. Oreos to be exact.” I held up the pack. “I’m making you try new shit.”

Thanos didn’t look impressed. I raised my hands in a placating gesture and with a roll of his eyes, Thanos took a seat on the couch. As I unloaded the bag, my eyes fell on the pregnancy tests.

“Uh, Thanos?” I glanced up. The Titan turned his head, and I asked, “So, like, your species...when you guys reproduce, what’s the difference in terms of terms, how long it takes to get pregnant, all that…?”

“My seed will adapt to fit your body’s limitations. Whatever is natural for humans will be natural for our child.”

“Our child...so you saw the pregnancy tests?” 

“You did a poor job of concealing them.” 

“Okay, shit, well there’s goes that. Uh, yeah, I gotta wait a second to take it. I got more than one because sometimes they goof and fuck up.”

Thanos patted his thigh and I snorted, making my way over to the couch. I took a seat on his lap, resting my shoulder. 

“Take your time, little Terran. We have so much of it left.”


	14. Reset

That time ended up being two days.

_ You should have know they’d come. _

I was cooking dinner when something whizzed through one of the windows, breaking the glass and embedding itself into the couch. My enhanced reflexes caught sight of the object - an arrow - a split second before a putrid burst of white gas filled the entire room. Hopper began furiously barking, and I heard Thanos practically throw himself down the stairs towards me.

I managed a loud, “What the fuck?” Before I was forced to duck and clamp a palm over my mouth. My eyes watered and I extended a hand, feeling my ways towards the front door. 

_ Stark, you sack of shit. _

I tumbled onto the grass, rubbing my watering eyes. I barely had time to stand before Thanos stepped in front of me, shielding me from someone or something. The lack of light made it difficult to see, but I could make out the silhouette of a man standing near the fence. 

“I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I wasn’t there. Thought I wouldn’t have to be, but apparently, I was wrong.”

The man shot an arrow at Thanos. The Titan simply tilted his head to the side, and the projectile zoomed past and struck the porch. I got to my feet, glancing down as Thanos clenched his fist, the gauntlet glowing ever so slightly. I really, really hoped he wouldn’t try and use it. The stones were unstable, and I had no idea if the attempt could end up harming him. 

_ “Clint.” _

I sighed. Natasha came bounding from behind the barn, and I saw a flicker of light in the sky before Stark landed, fully suited, by their side. The moment I stepped forward, he raised his blaster and shook his head. 

“Are you actually here this time, Tony?” I called.

His helmet disappeared. Dark eyes glared at me, and he replied, “Disappointed?”  
“No. Surprised.”

“I know when to show up.”

I smirked, turning my attention to the bow and arrow wielding man who looked as if he were going to physically fight Thanos himself. His cheeks were flushed, eyes rimmed with red. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I saw Natasha meet my gaze. 

“Clint. You’re going to get yourself killed-” Natasha began.

“Don’t care. As long as he dies first.”

Thanos tilted his head to the side. The gauntlet glowed once more, and before he could take another step forward, I grabbed his arm. He kept his focus on Clint, sneering, “Are you here to avenge your loved ones? Believe me, they did not suffer. I made sure of it.”

“I watched them turn to dust. I held my little girl as she died. All of them-”

“I’m truly sorry. In time, you will understand-”

Another arrow flew towards Thanos’ face. I nearly shrieked, the sound dying in my throat as he swatted it away. It bounced off the gauntlet and landed somewhere in the grass. 

“Clint, buddy, let’s go. It’s not worth it,” Tony called. They were all on a hair trigger, afraid to move. I knew it was because of Thanos - even with me holding him back, he could still be unpredictable. I knew the  _ second  _ Clint aimed his bow at me, he’d be dead. That scared me more than anything. 

_ You don’t want another fight. _

“It’s not worth it? You had him  _ pinned _ last time and you let him get away,” Clint barked. Tony seemed taken aback by the savagery in his voice, and I saw Clint’s fingers inch towards another arrow. It was slow and deliberate, and I absently placed myself closer to Thanos’ side, slightly towards the front. 

“Clint. Laura is still here,” Natasha said softly. “She  _ needs _ you. We all do, but she needs you the most. Don’t do this.”

“Listen to her. Walk away,” Thanos said coolly. “Do not give me a reason to end your life. I take no pleasure in such things.”

He was speaking the truth, but I saw the gauntlet glow once more. I kept a grip on his bicep, but by the time Thanos moved, my brain had flatlined out of a fear that I’d never felt before. 

_ Something bad is about to happen. _

_ You can feel it. _

“ _ I’m not going until he’s dead _ ,” Clint practically sobbed. “My little girl is gone. They’re all gone-”

“Fine. You’ve made your choice.”

The blast from the power stone tore the fence apart. The horses took off - Stark, having thrown himself in front of Clint and Natasha, took the brunt of the blow, his suit protecting him from the worst of the damage. The force knocked him off his feet, as well as Natasha - she spun like a top and landed hard on her stomach. I saw Clint notch an arrow midair and aim.

“Stop it, Thanos, stop-”

The air rushed from my lungs. I staggered back. There was a heavy pressure in my chest and it hurt to speak.

_ Oh fuck. Oh fuck. There’s an arrow in you. _

Clint landed on his back, his bow no longer in his hands. Stark was the first to stand. He removed his blackened helmet, his eyes landing on me.

“Oh, shit.”

“Thanos, there’s an arrow - Thanos,” I clawed at the projectile embedded in my chest. “ _ Thanos _ -”

I sunk to my knees. I was still clutching Thanos’ bicep, and he knelt with me. He wasn’t speaking, eyes wide, jaw slack with something akin to horror. 

I was going to fucking  _ die. _ Thanos realized it, and I realized it.

“Let me help her-” Tony trudged forward. Another blast, this one weaker, from the power stone, sent him flying once more. I didn’t protest. He couldn’t help me.

I was cradled against Thanos’ chest like a child. He was saying something, but I couldn’t hear. I saw the gauntlet glow once more - one of the stones, a green gem, flickering brighter than them all. 

I closed my eyes.

* * *

“Welcome home.”

“This isn’t my home.”

“It is now. That Titan of yours, it’s his fault you are here.”

I was sitting with my legs crossed in front of a gate. The dark-haired woman standing before it looked irritated at my words. She adjusted her cloak and watched as I stood. 

“It smells like ass in here.”

“This is my domain.”

“Fuck your domain. I want to go home.”

The woman stared at me, and then back at the gate. It wasn’t locked, and I wondered why she wasn’t making a move to open it. Then, her eyes shifted towards the sky. She seemed disappointed, and without preamble, she said, “You’re lucky. I have to send you back, it seems.”

“Thank  _ fuck _ .”

“Be careful what you wish for. Now go.”

_ I opened my eyes. _


	15. Two Strangers

I had a really, really, really bad habit of setting multiple alarm and then slapping off all of them. Today was no different. Alarm number one woke me, and the next just irritated me. I eventually forced myself to rise from bed, shutting off alarm number four before heading to my kitchen. I fixed some coffee, deciding to lounge in the living room and flick through the television. The minute I got to the local news, I stopped.

_ “New York is under attack.” _

I sipped my coffee, stuck halfway between disbelief and apathy. There was slight twinge of fear in my heart as I watched buildings fall, and I slowly got to my feet. I could barely stomach my coffee, and for my own sake, I switched off the TV. 

Maybe it was the exhaustion, but I felt as if my head had become filled with cobwebs. I shook them away, heading towards the fridge. Food would help, right? I was in somewhat of a daze, and the more time went on, the more I realized it wasn’t because I was in shock. I opted to flick the news back on, and leave it on, unable to tear my eyes away from the scene. There was a metal man flying through the sky, a green, brutish creature and a man shooting lightning from his fingers. 

_ This couldn’t be real. _

_ It couldn’t be. _

Groceries. I needed groceries - that was on my list for today. Then back to work tomorrow - I reminded myself to go to bed early. My shift this time around started early, and I always had the mindset that early was better than late. I’d gotten that philosophy from my mother, and it was serving me well so far. The store I helped manage was booming, as was my pay. It wasn’t enough to afford luxurious cars or jewelry, but it was enough to pay the bills and make my quality of life less shitty than it could have been. I was perfectly content where I was, and hadn’t thought about moving.

Footage from the New York battle played on a loop for the next two days. Even though I was nowhere near the action, I could feel the ripple effect as my workmates and bosses discussed it amongst themselves. Business became slow as people became scared to leave their homes. Even I felt it, combined with a strange sense of  Déjà vu  that had me scratching my head. I brushed it off as something I’d seen, maybe, from a dream. They were always hectic and crazy and left me wondering what the hell I’d done or eaten during the day. 

_ As long as those alien things stay away from me, I’ll be okay. _

_ But when do you ever get what you want? _

My entire routine was shattered three days after the New York attack. I was forced from bed in the middle of the night by a bright, shining light and the roar of what I believed to be an engine. A loud, loud engine. I sat up, practically blinded as my eyes struggled to adjust. My entire room was lit, as if it were daytime. I scrambled to find my bathrobe, wrapping it around my hunched frame. 

“Motherfucker.” I squinted. Against my better judgement, I yanked open the front door, intending to tell off whoever the fuck it was. I had a split second to take into account that it could possibly be the cops - why, I had no idea - before it was too late to turn back. I shielded my eyes and called, “What’s the fuck?”

“Such crass language. Tell me, is this how your kind always greet their guests?”

“Turn the fucking light off so I can see you.”

To my surprise, the person obeyed. The light died down a bit, and I could finally see its source. 

I almost passed out. 

_ That’s an alien ship. That’s a big alien ship- _

“Is that better?”

_ That’s an alien. Two aliens. _

The first was massive. Humanoid and male, like its smaller counterpart, but with scaly skin, horns, and an armored chest. His companion was slender, skin an ashy grey. The robes he wore were adorned with patterns, and the look he was giving me was the farthest thing was pleasant. He had blue eyes - pretty blue eyes that were far too human looking for my liking. 

My eyes flitted between the two. My body was frozen in both fear and awe. 

“My name is Ebony Maw. This is my sibling, Cull Obsidian. Please do not be alarmed. We are not here to harm you.”

I was vibrating. Part of me screamed to run while another forced me to stay put. I couldn’t stop staring in Ebony Maw’s eyes. They were still way too blue. I didn’t want to look away. 

“What do you want?” I finally managed to ask. “I didn’t...do anything. I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Maw tilted his head to the side. He gestured, and his companion approached. His sheer size intimidated me enough that I sunk to my knees, resisting the urge to start bawling my eyes out. I had a feeling the two aliens wouldn’t do well with a shivering, crying human. 

“My father sent us to retrieve you. You are of great value to him - even if you don’t know it.”

“I don’t know it. What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Come with us, and you will find out.” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I glanced up at the ship. “I’m not getting on that fucking ship. What do you want-”

Someone shoved me from behind that wasn’t there. I stumbled, before being lifted like a rag doll by the massive, horned alien. I immediately began to scream and kick and beg.

_ No, no, no, no- _

_ NO! _

I screamed. Cull Obsidian didn’t seem to care. My feet and fists did nothing to deter him, and I was carried onto the ship, my home disappearing behind me. My shrieks for help would go unanswered. 

“Put her down gently, Cull.”

I was dropped like a sack of potatoes against the ships floor. I gasped, the wind knocked out of me. 

“I said  _ gently _ , Cull. Do you  _ ever  _ listen?”

I scooted away as Ebony Maw approached. I was ready to fight, my senses kicking in and my hands clenched into fists. The minute the smug, asshole of an alien knelt down I’d sock him. Hard. Hopefully break his nonexistent nose. 

“Look at me.”

I did. My fists were still raised, but I felt a sudden incentive to drop them, so I did.

_ Shit. What is happening to you? _

“You must rest. Father will not want you distressed.” Maw reached out, and to my horror, I let him gently touch my forehead. The moment he did, my eyes felt heavy. Sleep sounded like a good idea - no, it sounded like a  _ great _ idea. 

So, at the sound of Maw’s voice, I slept.


	16. Mind Heist

“We had no trouble locating her, Father. The coordinates you sent us were correct, as I assumed they would be. She is also healthy and undamaged.”

I felt groggy. Opening my eyes was a chore, and I debated going back to sleep. Maw continued to talk, however, so I continued to listen. After a moment, I heard a new voice reply.

It sounded familiar. I didn’t know why. It was a deep baritone - something I’d always been a sucker for. Maybe in a dream, I’d heard it.

Maybe this was a dream. Maybe I was still asleep in my bed.

“Will the process harm her?”

“It will not. These memories you say she lost, I will be able to find them,” Maw replied. “No memory truly disappears, even when time itself is manipulated.”

_Dejavu._

_Fuck._

I blinked a few times as a blurry figure approached. As my vision cleared, I met the caramel colored eyes of another alien. This one was big - huge, actually, with rough looking purple skin.

Immediately, I felt a headache coming on. I had no clue as to why. The sight of this alien made my head hurt and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to quell the flickers of pain. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick and yell and demand answers. I had no clue what the fuck was going on, and soon, panic would get the better or me.

“Little terran.”

“Shit. My head hurts. Why does my head hurt? Who are you? Who is he? Am I in space right fucking now, because I’d really rather not be,” I grit my teeth. “Shit. I’m in space, aren’t I?”

“This entire ordeal is my fault. You are here because of a decision _I_ made, in which _you_ paid the price. I do not intend to make that mistake again.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He smiled sadly. “You will. Maw, begin working. _Now_.”

“Yes, Father.”

I tried to sit up, but found that I was restrained. Ebony Maw took a seat by my side while the other alien backed away. He stood near the door, arms behind his back as he watched. There was an incredible sadness in his face, and I almost felt bad. Almost. I had no idea what the fuck was really going on here, and the noseless, slender alien was way to close. He reached out and grabbed the side of my face, prompting me to grimace.

“Don't you dare fucking touch me.”

“Stay still,” Maw murmured. “The more you move, the longer this will take.”

_Fuck._

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“Don’t touch me. Stop touching me,” I squirmed, but he held me in a vice grip. His hands were clammy, the skin rough and grey. The rings on his fingers dug uncomfortably into my skin, and had his grip been less, I could have gotten a bite in. I mewled, "Stop it! Stop-"

The headache returned, but now it was a searing pain that forced my eyes shut. I writhed, teeth clenched as I tried to ride out the never ending wave of discomfort.

“You said this would not harm her, Maw.”

“ _Physically_. Her memories are repressed. There will be...discomfort.”

I could barely hear them. Behind my lids flashed images I’d never seen before. Or maybe I had. That dejavu feeling was back, but I knew these weren’t dreams anymore. They had happened. They were happening, and I was soaking it all in as if I were dry sponge.

_“I love you.”_

_“Queen.”_

_“My queen.”_

_“Mine.”_

A dog barked from somewhere.

_Hopper._

That was its name. It was a German Shepard, long haired, male. It liked to jump on the bed. I saw horses, Sunshine, Daisy. I saw Thanos petting the horses -

Thanos.

That was his name. The alien kneeling by my bed, clutching my sweating palm as Maw held my face between his hands, his name was Thanos.

“Wife?”

I looked at him. I smiled.

_“Hey.”_

* * *

“I did not get you sooner. I am sorry.”

I sat and watched the Titan slowly peel off his tunic. He folded it neatly and placed it on the bedside table, before joining me on the bed. I was in his arms in seconds, pressing my lips against his skin and inhaling. His scent still felt foreign to my adjusting mind, and I knew, in time, I’d learn to love it, just as I had before.

“You’re fine. It’s fine. I’m here with you.”

“Was Maw able to retrieve all of your memories?”

“I think. I saw everything. I felt it. There’s...fogginess in some areas, and some big gaps. Something from before was missing and I knew it. Maybe it was the fact that I didn’t know...I didn’t know that I loved you. What did you do?”

“I used the Time Stone. I intended to go back a day or so but...the gauntlet did not exactly cooperate.”

“Loki just invaded New York, like, three days ago.”

“I’m aware. I’m also aware of his true allegiance,” Thanos murmured. “However he, at the moment, does not matter. There is only _you_ , wife.”

“Fuck I can’t believe I didn’t remember that smooth talk.” I kissed his collarbone. “Holy fuck. I also can’t believe that I’m in space.”

“You are home. _Truly_ home.”

At his words, it dawned on me. I shivered and said, almost sadly, “I’m not part Titan anymore, you know that, right? I’m not…”

“You and I are still compatible.”

I blushed. Some of my memories were still a bit foggy, but Maw had informed me that they’d become clearer over the next couple of days. His telepathy, like his telekinesis, was powerful, but he rarely dabbled in anything other than hard persuasion. Memory restoration was difficult, but it wasn’t impossible.

“God this is so weird,” I flopped onto my back. I fell silent, eyes narrowed. “I...I died. Holy shit I _died_.”

“But you are back. Do not dwell on it-”

“No, like, I died. I went...into whatever the fuck the afterlife is. I saw Death. I talked to her, and she talked to me. Thanos, I fucking _died_.”

Of all the memories, that was one I desperately wanted to forget again. I leaned my head against Thanos’ chest, resisting the urge to cry. I was tired. I’d had a long day, and Thanos’ bed was so soft, the sheets like warm silk-

“Rest,” Thanos murmured. He kissed the top of my head. “Tomorrow, I will introduce you to the others.”

“I don’t need to rest,” I lied.

“You are exhausted. I can hear it in your voice and see it in your body. By tomorrow, all of your memories will have returned,” Thanos replied. “Do not worry. I will join you.”

His warm body settled against mine. It felt right. Everything felt right with him here, and the mere thought of forgetting made me nauseous. I gripped his hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Thanos?” I murmured.

“Yes?”

“Maybe...you don’t have to balance the universe. Again,” I turned to face him. “You don’t have to. We can be together, find a planet, build something-”

“And then what? Wait until the universe’s resources have been expunged and we are forced to fight for what we have?”

“Find another. Find another way besides killing-”

“There is no other way. You know - you _knew_ this. I watched my planet die, and _my_ inaction is what caused it-”

“That wasn’t your fault and you know it. There are other ways,” I gripped his hand once more. “I’m just asking that you consider it.”

Thanos nodded slowly. The second his palm pressed flat against my bare stomach, I relaxed. His touches were warm and deliberate, and I basked in it.

_I’ll never forget again. Never._

“Now, let me show you just how desperately I long for you,” Thanos murmured against my lips. “ _Wife._ ”


	17. Good Girl

“This will fit you. It belonged to Gamora.”

I froze, the vest halfway on my body. His words, while innocent enough, hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course she’d be here. Of course. I was in _his_ territory, now, surrounded by _his_ people.

“When you went through your change, she was occasionally the subject of the memories you saw.”

“Oh, I know. I beat you up over it.”

“I believe I won that fight.”

“Yeah, because you’re a sex god and distracted me. You got lucky. If you weren’t so fucking hot I would have won.”

“With the proper training, perhaps you one day you could defeat me. Even as a Terran, you are strong and resilient.” Thanos dressed, lightly touching the top of my head and gesturing for me to follow. I did, sticking by his side as we made our way down the winding halls. I was too entranced by the walls of the alien stronghold, still hardly able to comprehend that I was in space. I very nearly ran smack dab into a blue alien, and I immediately recognized those black eyes and mismatch of metallic parts.

Nebula glared at me, before her eyes flickered to Thanos. In an even voice, she asked, “Who is this?”

Thanos nudged me, and I knew he wanted me to introduce myself instead. I mustered up the courage to look Nebula in the eyes - she was so much more frightening than when I’d seen her in my mind - and speak.

“I’m Rachel. It’s nice to meet you.”

Nebula ignored me. “You found a new whore, Father?”

“The opposite. You do not need to concern yourself with her - however, you are to treat her as you would treat me,” Thanos said coldly. I saw Nebula’s fingers twitch ever so slightly, but she squared her shoulders and stood proud. “Relay that message to your siblings.”

“Yes, Father.”

Nebula stormed off. I watched her go, not realizing that I’d been holding my breath.

“She will warm up to you,” Thanos said simply. “As will the others.”

“I hope so. Drama is the last thing I need, especially if I end up being, you know...with child or whatever.”

Thanos stopped. His brows furrowed, and he met my gaze. There was a bit of sadness in his eyes, and he asked, “Were you…”

I knew what he was asking immediately. “I wasn’t pregnant when I died.”

Thanos nodded, and he let out a sigh. We remained silent the rest of the walk, and I stuck close to Thanos’ side as we entered another room - the same room I’d been held in prior. Maw was milling about, but he stopped and ducked his head when he saw Thanos approach. I saw two others mimic his action - a blue skinned female with red eyes and horns and a male figure that reminded me more of a goblin - he was tall, slender in the body and face.

Three pairs of eyes were on me, none of them looking particularly welcoming. I gave a mock wave as Thanos said, “You have yet to meet Proxima and Corvus - two of my other children.”

Corvus seemed apathetic while Proxima sized me up. Unlike Nebula, she made her position clear towards the beginning. Shoulders squared, chin tilted upwards, I recognized the hostility immediately.

So I squared right back up. I wasn’t nearly as tall, but I made the attempt anyway.

“Proxima, play nice,” Thanos growled. Her eyes flitted towards her father and she backed off a bit.

“You know I’m not scared of any of you, right?” I looked between the three aliens. Proxima and Corvus scowled, while Maw just looked amused, still fiddling with some equipment while Proxima and I stared each other down. She stood awfully close to Corvus, and I wondered if they were fucking.

“You should be.”

“I’m not. Do those horns of yours molt during the winter, or are they just there for decoration?” 

“ _Wife_ ,” Thanos grumbled. “ _Please_.”

I saw Maw smirk. I glanced between the three aliens, and after a moment, Thanos gestured for Proxima and Corvus to leave. Much to my disappointment, Maw stayed.

Corvus paid me no mind, but Proxima made a show of sizing me up one more time, knocking her shoulder into mine as she passed. I heard Thanos snap something rather nasty, prompting Proxima to scurry away.

“Now,” Thanos sighed, “Back to what I was initially here for. I have a task for you, Maw.”

That’s how I ended up being left with Maw, stuck by his side as he guided me towards his private quarters. Part of me was warming up to the slender alien, while the other part still wasn’t used to anything extraterrestrial that wasn’t Thanos. Maw’s overall appearance didn’t help - yeah, he looked human, in shape, but everything else bordelined on uncanny. I wasn’t fond of the way he spoke. Or his fingers. Or his skin. Or his face.

“Another session will do your mind some good. Thanos mentioned gaps in your memories,” Maw extended an arm, gesturing for me to enter the room. I did, keeping my head down. My nerves flared the moment the door shut, leaving me alone with him, and I forced myself to stay alert. “In time, that will be remedied. Take a seat.”

I pulled up a chair. I stared at the ground, practically begging for this to go as quickly as possible. I wanted to be back with Thanos, back in his arms. Maybe the overall shock had yet to dissipate, but I knew I was needy right now. I knew I was clingy. I couldn’t help it. I was still shaken by the fact that I’d _died_.

“Something wrong, Terran?”

“N-no.”

Maw huffed. His eyes flitted towards my hands - they were trembling ever so slightly. He didn’t comment, and instead reached out to touch the top of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, and I could feel him digging through my brain, pulling apart memory after memory - things I hadn’t even known existed rose to the surface, along with a steady headache that had me wincing.

His touch lingered, and I noticed it. I snorted and said softly, “You don’t hate me like your brothers and sisters?”

“I have complete faith in Thanos. While I have my reservations regarding your species, I trust my father. If a Terran is best fitted as his mate, so be it,” Maw’s words were cold, though I didn’t spot any malice. He was just stating a fact, it seemed. “Drink this.”

He handed me a cup of _something_. I stared down at the sloshing black liquid, raising an eyebrow. “...why?”

“It will soothe your headaches.”

“Oh,” I nodded slowly, before taking an experimental sip. Not bad. A little bitter - actually, it was a lot bitter. A lot. Holy shit it was disgusting. “ _Oh_.”

“Don’t waste a drop. Not unless you want your headache to return.”

Sighing, I took Maw’s advice and downed the cup, clenching my teeth as the bark of my throat felt as if it were burning. I coughed a bit, handing the empty cup back to Maw. “Thank you. Seriously. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“My father requested that you be taken care of. Therefore, you were taken care of.”

“So this wasn’t done out of the goodness of your heart?”

Maw’s gaze softened at my playful quip, and he shook his head. He said, “I don’t consider myself a philanthropist. Things are done because they are necessary, and to benefit our operation.” 

“At least you’re honest. I don’t see you as the type to bullshit things,” I shifted in my seat, painfully aware that Maw was watching me. At this point, I felt like I was rambling - trying to make small talk with an alien that, well, probably didn’t know what small talk even was. “I appreciate that. So, uh, yeah. Kudos to you. Can I go now?”

“Yes. If you still experience gaps in your memory, you know where to find me.”

I nodded. I made a hasty move towards the door, but to my surprise, Maw stopped me. His long fingers curled around my bicep, and I froze.

“Though I am not opposed to my father taking a Terran as his mate, I will ask that you refrain from any….unsavory activities while aboard this ship. You will earn the respect of my siblings much faster should you choose to do so,” Maw leaned in close. “Just a suggestion.”

“I haven’t gotten into any trouble yet.”

“Terrans are prone to misbehaving. It is in your nature.”

I wanted to argue, but the smart part of me held back. I simply nodded, murmuring that quick three letter word of apprehension. Maw’s next words struck me to the core - it was a sneer, almost like he was pleased by my apparent capitulation.

“Good girl.”

* * *

“I have a gift for you,” Thanos told me that night. I was wringing out my hair - it was long, now, and only then did I realize why. I hadn’t cut it yet.

I snorted, keeping the towel wrapped around my body as Thanos approached. Said gift was on the bed, sheathed. It was a dagger, its handle ornate and engraved. It fit snugly in my grip, and my throat caught when I looked into Thanos’ eyes. He was proud.

“Think of it as a...wedding gift.”

“It’s amazing,” I breathed. I tested the weight, gnawing on my lower lip as I let the blade catch the light. I slipped it back into its sheath, holding it as gently as I would a child. “Thank you.”

“You deserve only the best.”

I ducked my head. “You’re gonna make me cry. Seriously. I’m not...I’ve never been told that before-”

I let the dagger rest on the desk in the corner before adjusting my towel. Thanos took a seat on the bed, beckoning me me to stand between his legs. I obeyed, removing the towel so I was bare in front of him. His eyes shifted from the curve of my neck, down past my breasts and towards that little spot between my legs.

“All of this is mine,” Thanos breathed. “Beautiful.”

I hummed, reaching for his belt. It fell with a heavy thud against the floor, and I straddled his waist before grabbing both his wrists.

“No touching. Not yet.”

Thanos gave a low groan, yet listened and rested his hands behind his head. I chuckled, bending down to press a quick kiss against his mouth. His chest heaved as I slipped a hand beneath his trousers. I gave his dick several jerks before swirling my thumb across the head. The noises Thanos made were borderline obscene, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at how easy it was to tease him. Grinning as I got a particularly naughty idea, I freed his cock and slipped it inside my wet heat, only to pull out and leave him slack jawed and glaring.

“Is this retribution for our little barn spat?” Thanos grunted, the muscles in his arms flexing as he desperately tried not to reach out and force me onto his cock.

“Maybe. Maybe I like seeing how much you can take-”

“Not much. Not when it comes to you, wife,” Thanos grunted. “You know that.”

I laughed aloud, finally giving him - and myself - relief by sinking onto his dick. I sighed as he filled me. There was silence before Thanos snarled and reached out to dig his fingers into my waist. He took control, lifting me as if I weighed nothing and slamming me back down. By the end of it, my ass was sore and I was positive I’d have bruises, but it was worth it.

“Oh f-fuck,” I bit down on my lower lip so hard that it bled. “F-fuck, baby-”

“Goddess,” Thanos breathed. His words tapered off, and he growled, the sound low and deep. I clenched around him and he flooded my heat with his release.  

I collapsed atop Thanos’ chest, spent, breathing heavy. I tingled from the top of my head, all the way down to my toes. Moving seemed impossible. I didn’t want to move, actually. I was right where I belonged.

“How did I become so lucky?” Thanos murmured. He traced light patterns against my bare back, and I snuggled deeper into his embrace. “The most divine creature in the galaxy now shares my bed.”

“Oh, hush. I ain’t divine. But I appreciate the thought,” I said. “I think we’re two fucked up people who found each other, that’s all.”

“Perhaps,” Thanos mused. “Maybe I have a flair for the dramatic.”

“Just a little. But I love it, and I love you.”

“I love you as well.”

 

 


	18. Jumpstart

I spent most of the next day exploring the ship and poking my nose wherever I could. I did so alone, and I managed to ignore to the weird looks shot my way - I knew most of the inhabitants had no clue as to why I, a Terran, was suddenly on the ship. 

I tried to remember where everything was, and I tried to familiarize myself with the environment that was now my home. Whenever I looked out the windows, I was struck by how desolate everything was. I saw space rocks and distant moons and the planets they orbit, none of them resembling Earth in the slightest. It finally, fully hit me that I wasn’t on Earth. I wasn’t anywhere near Earth. I was in space, like, really in space.

_ You don’t have to hide anymore. _

I let out a sigh. Hopper would be back with his owners. So would Sunshine and Daisy and the rest of the horses. The Avengers, Tony, Natasha...they had no idea who I was. They probably never would meet me. 

_ It’s better this way. _

_ You know it. _

I looked up and saw Proxima and Corvus traversing the empty hallway. My shoulders tensed and I turned away, praying they wouldn’t antagonize me. Without Thanos, I was a tad less confident. 

“What are you doing away from my father, Terran?”

I sighed as Proxima spoke, her voice high pitched and mocking. Corvus stood back while she approached, glaring down at me with a smirk on her lips. I wanted to smack that look off her face, but I kept my hands by my sides. I could take it. I could take a little bit of verbal abuse, especially since I knew they wouldn’t dare lay their hands on me.

“I’m out looking around. I can do that. I’m not a prisoner,” I replied coldly. “I mean, technically I’m your mom now, so-”

_ Ouch. Okay, that sounded weird. _

“You are _ not _ our father’s equal. You never will be. My husband and I will never take orders from you.” Proxima stepped closer until we were nearly chest to chest. “You have not earned that privilege.”

I rolled my shoulders, closing my eyes. I composed myself, choosing to be diplomatic rather than outright insult Proxima. Corvus was watching the exchange, eyes narrowed. I was more worried about him than anything - the quiet ones were almost always the most deadly. 

“You don’t remember, but you died. On Earth. All of you,” I said Proxima hissed, but I continued, “In the future. That’s where I met Thanos.”

“She lies,” Corvus snarled. Proxima ignored him, her scowl disappearing. 

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be here. It beats me. I didn’t choose to meet your father, he came to me. And...I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m the only one here who knows what comes next. Trying to scare me won’t work. I can let you die again, or  I can help you. Your choice.”

“So you’re a prophet?” Proxima sneered.  

“Sure. Yeah. Let’s say that.” I looked away. “Here’s how you live: don’t go to Earth. Stay here. Ask for a sick day. Don’t go after those stones-”

“You know of the stones?”

_ Uh. Shit. _

“Thanos told me about them. It’s...it’s a long story. Seriously. I’m not, like, authorized to tell you,” I stammered. Proxima stepped closer, and when I stepped back, I was against the wall. Pinned. Caged. I saw Corvus bare his teeth and glare.

_ Fuck. Fuck- _

“Corvus! Proxima! Do not antagonize the Terran. Remember Father’s words? We are to treat her as we would treat one of our own.” Maw was approaching rapidly. The minute he spoke, Proxima backed off, giving me room to breathe. For once, I was happy to see Maw. At least he was consistent with his behavior, and even if he did loathe me, he was doing an excellent job of not showing it.

“Listen, I know you guys all hate me. I know you don’t like that I’m fucking your adoptive father or whatever. But, you know, life is fucking weird like that. When I met your dad, you were all dead. But now you’re not. So trust me, this is odd for me just as its odd for you. We should work through this together.”

All three looked at me as if I’d suddenly begun speaking a foreign language. I grimaced, raising my hands in a placating gesture. 

“The Terran is delusional,” Proxima muttered.

“The Terran is perfectly sound. Maybe a little confused, but perfectly mentally here,” I tapped the side of my head. “Seriously.”

“Corvus, Proxima,” Maw said softly. “Leave us.”

They did. The hallway became empty, save for Maw and I. Very slowly he extended a hand, and I had no choice but to take it. His skin was soft, and he held my hand as if it were the most delicate thing in the world.

“When I retrieved your memories, I saw the future you’d lived. You are a worthy to be Thanos’ wife, even if others might disagree.”

“I...thank you.” I felt Maw squeeze my hand. “I...I don’t want things to go the way they did...again. I want to change things. You saw what happened.”

“You will not convince my father to abandon his quest for the stones, nor will you convince me. Sacrifices must be made.” 

“What about Gamora and Nebula? They deserve a chance,” I pleaded. 

“They can be replaced. In fact, one already is.”

I jerked my hand away. Maw didn’t seem too surprised by my action, and he stood, fingers laced together. 

“What do you mean?”

Maw nodded towards my stomach. My throat immediately went dry.

“This should be a time of celebration. I can feel a life within you, very faint, but there.” Maw reached out, his palm pressing flat against my stomach. He sighed, content, “You are carrying his heir.”

“I’m  _ what _ ?”

Maw looked at me. He spoke slower, as if I were daft.

“You are carrying.”

“Yeah, I know. I know I was just...I’m just... _ wow _ .”

I blinked away sudden tears. I didn’t physically feel any different, and I wouldn’t for a while, but emotions overwhelmed me. Fear, joy, confusion - everything. Maw’s stare wasn’t making me feel better, especially since I knew he really wouldn’t be the right person to offer any sort of emotional assistance. 

“Would you like me to walk with you?”

“Back to Thanos, yeah. Yeah, that would be nice.”

* * *

“I’m pregnant.”

Thanos glanced up. I saw him do a double check, and then he asked me to repeat myself.

Again, “I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby.”

“ _ Mine? _ ”

“Yes, yours, you dummy,” a grin split my face wide. “I just found out and I don’t know how I feel. Okay, yes, I’m happy. But I’m also scared. I’ve never birthed anyone before. I don’t know...will it hurt? What if I’m a bad mom? What if they look weird because I’m human and you’re-”

“Calm down.” Thanos grasped my hands. “All of those things are out of your control.”

“That’s the thing. I like being in control.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Thanos smirked, and I rolled my eyes at his cheeky behavior.  I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him, tight. “My goddess. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I mumbled against his skin. “I just...I don’t know if I’m ready. I never thought this would actually happen. With you. With anyone. What will the others think?”

“They will learn to live with it. You are my wife - they have no right to question why I chose you as my partner.” Thanos brushed his thumb across my lower lip. “I do not take such matters lightly.”

“I promise I won’t die on you again,” I pressed my lips into a line, forming some semblance of a smile. “We could be back on that farm right now.” 

“Is that where you’d rather be?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if that would have been better. As long as I’m with you, it shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I just can’t help think about what we had.”

“We still have the chance to return to our life of peace and solitude. I am going after those stones.” Thanos continued before I could protest, “But I will be more methodical, more deliberate.”

“Let me advise you, then. Let me be by your side-”

“No.”

His reply was sharp and quick. I raised my eyebrows. 

“I survive. Fate doesn’t choose me. You don’t have to worry-”

“I’m not worried about... _ that _ .”

_ Oh.  _

I knew exactly what he meant. I’d had the luxury of dealing with the Avengers; there was no telling what kinds of enemies he had during this time. I knew of Gamora’s eventual betrayal, along with Nebula’s, as did Thanos. He was one step ahead.

_ So are you. _

“My daughters resent me. I have already enlisted the help of Ronan the Accuser, and I know he will attempt to betray me,” Thanos leaned in close. “The more distanced you are from my affairs, the less incentive they will have to harm you.”

“They’re gonna want to harm me regardless. I’m with you. And I’m staying with you, but you’re going to have to get used to me calling you out on your bullshit.” I waved a finger. “Like right now. You’re not going to get me back and then immediately push me away.”

“I watched you die. I held your corpse  in my arms. I cannot and will not go through that a second time.” Thanos was practically begging me, voice still stern and assertive, but it hitched, “I do not want those stones if it means losing you  _ again _ .”

“Okay.” I wiped away a stray tear. I hadn’t even realized they’d fallen. “Okay. Fine. But I’m still going to chew you out.

Thanos smiled.

“As you should.”

* * *

I stood by Thanos’ right hand, arms crossed over my chest as I tried my best to stick to the shadows. The Kree alien standing before Thanos’ throne was one I knew all too well. I’d seen him in Thanos’ memories, along with the destruction he had caused. Or, in this case, the destruction he would cause.

Ronan was a lot taller than I’d imagined. And a lot scarier. When he talked, it was commanding, each word laced with authority and simmering anger. 

I knew how impulsive the Kree were. Thanos had already won. 

“I ask that you send one or two of your children to aid me.” Ronan was kneeling, bowing before Thanos in a mock display of respect. He kept his voice even, and when he lifted his head, his eyes landed on me. For a split second, he went silent. Then, “Perhaps you would be willing to allow your right hand-”

“She stays here.” Thanos smirked. I saw him drum his fingers against the arm of his throne. “Nebula and Proxima will aid you.”

_ Not Gamora. _

My jaw tensed. Of course he wouldn’t send her. Nebula was a waste of parts to him, a failure - I’d seen it and felt it in his mind. She was disposable, while Gamora wasn’t. 

“I’m greatly appreciative.” Ronan stood. I really, really didn’t like the smile on his face. It was sinister, purely malicious. 

“Oh, I know you are. Now leave.”

The minute Ronan left, Thanos glanced over at me. Without thinking I murmured, “What are you going to do with Gamora?”

“I have already dealt with her.”

“Did you kill her?”

Thanos shook his head. I let out a breath, relieved. There was already a plan in my head, but I shut it away. The thought of ever going behind Thanos’ back and betraying his trust made me sick, but deep down, I knew…

_ Diplomacy won’t work with him.  _

“She should be the last thing on your mind.” Thanos glanced at my belly, and I chuckled. “The little one...have you thought of names?”

I laughed again. He sounded giddy, almost. Excited. I said, “No. Not yet. I...don’t know many alien names. Titan names, you know?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to Terran names.”

“You don’t see many aliens named George or Ashley. That’s just me, though.,” I shrugged. “I’ve never been good with names.”

I took a seat on the arm of his throne, happy that we weren’t being watched. I was allowed little touches here and there, but only when Thanos and I were alone. I took our moment of privacy to run my fingers across his exposed bicep, tracing each line and each scar. 

“Are you going to do something about Ronan? You know he betrays you…?”

“I am not bothered by it. Xandar will be destroyed regardless, and the Power Stone will be mine. All in our favor,” Thanos mused. “There is no need to act prematurely.”

“Do you have to straight up _destroy_ Xandar, or…”

“ _ Wife _ ,” Thanos groaned. “We _discussed_ this.”

“Just asking.” I raised my hands in a placating gesture. Thanos smirked, and I gently began to massage the taut muscles of his shoulders. He was stiff, and I wondered if he’d ever had someone properly work away at all the stress he held in his massive frame. Absently, I said, “You know what really sucks? All the places I wasn’t able to take you, back on Earth. Like a movie, the waterpark...we could have gone on a proper date.”

“I’m assuming the locals would not have taken to kindly to me roaming about?”

“The cops. The Avengers,” I snorted. “There’s a lot of stuff you missed out on. I’m not letting our kid skip out on Earth culture, by the way.”

“I wouldn’t want them to. I quite enjoyed my time on your planet, even if it did cause...complications.”

“Will you take me to Titan eventually?”

Thanos didn’t reply. I gave his shoulder a squeeze, and he gently grasped my hand, raising my palm to his lips. 

“My planet is a desolate wasteland. I would feel...shame if I showed it to you now.”

“It was your home. I don’t care how broken it is...one day, I do want to see it.”

“One day,” Thanos mused. I shot him a questioning look, and in a soft voice, he said, “One day, I will have to give you a blood transfusion, if only to increase your lifespan.”

“Yeah. Humans don’t live that long, do we?” I tried to keep my tone neutral, but it didn’t work. Thanos could always detect when something was wrong. 

“What ails you?”

“I just...I don’t know. I don’t know if I should live that long. The first time, I abandon my humanity out of necessity...now, if I have a choice? I just don’t know.”

“You do not wish to tamper with nature.”

I nodded. Thanos seemed content with my answer, and he kissed my palm once more. There was a lot on his mind, and I didn’t dare try to analyze him to see what it was. But even then, even after such a nonchalant answer, I knew he’d revisit the topic. 

“You should go rest. You’ve had a long day.”

“So have you. We’ll go together.”

Thanos raised a brow. He offered me his hand, but when I took it, I was unceremoniously yanked into his lap. His lips grazed the top of my head, and I could feel something hard poke at my thigh. Rolling my eyes at how insatiable of a sex drive he had, I said, “Is this one of your fantasies? Taking me on your throne?”

“Perhaps,” Thanos mused. “Now, spread your legs and let me in.”


	19. Star Trekking

Three months passed without incident. My stomach grew. Ronan continued to stalk the galaxy, razing planets, taking orders from Thanos. Eventually, he’d be worn thin and retaliate. Thanos and I were both on a hair trigger, ready. 

I hid my belly underneath an oversized tunic, trying not to draw and attention to myself. I knew, at this point, it would be useless - I’m sure Maw had informed Proxima that I was carrying. I knew Proxima would, in, turn, inform her husband who would inform Cull, and so on. Concealing it was just easier, and I was able to avoid some of the stares. 

_ You sleep in Thanos’ room. You walk out those doors every day. Of course someone noticed. _

Regardless, the three months were peaceful. I’d stopped vomiting by the time the third month came around, and now I was fucking hungry, much to Thanos’ amusement. I missed Earth food. Sure, alien food was dope - and also a much healthier alternative - but I was still a pizza fanatic. 

_ Thanos never got to try pizza. _

_ Goddamn. _

Even then, I was enjoying my new life with Thanos, mainly because I was around him. He didn’t leave much, and when he did, he left me in charge. Or, as in charge as I could be. I could ask for whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted…

Like now, for instance. 

“Be good for me,” Thanos had murmured, pressing a kiss against my cheek, and then a lingering one against my mouth. I could feel Maw’s gaze on me, but I ignored him. I held Thanos’ hand, staring into his eyes. “Maw will take care of you.”

I felt only anxiety as he boarded his ship. I watched until the vessel was out of sight, and Maw stepped by my side. 

“It would be best for you return to you quarters. I will alert you, should anything important come up.” 

“I’m alright. I’d like to walk for a bit.”

“I can sense that you are anxious. My father has always returned safely,” Maw said. His eyes were still watching where Thanos’ ship had been moments before. “This trip will be no different.”

“I can’t help it. Being anxious is one of the few things I’m good at.”

Maw hummed. “There are worse qualities.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled. “I...I’m going to go take that walk now. Hopefully calm my nerves.”

Maw nodded. I left him, basking in the silence as I travelled down the halls. Part of me knew where I was headed, while the other still wound up confused when I ended up at the entrance to the holding cells. War prisoners, traitors, they were all held here until Thanos could decide their fate. Some faced exile while others faced certain execution. 

_ This is a bad idea. _

_ You aren’t ready. _

I was. Three months on the ship, three months of wondering what exactly Thanos planned on doing with Gamora now that he knew of her eventual betrayal. It would be anything other than death. 

There was a nagging feeling in my mind regarding that, but I pushed it aside for now.

Gamora was sitting in her cell, hair tied back from her face. She was etching patterns in the stone using a small rock she must have found lying around. Only thick bars separated us, and the minute I stopped, she looked up.

“You’re my father's wife.”

It was a statement, not a question. 

“Yeah,” I replied, shrugging. “It’s a cool gig. Crazy how I got it, though, if you’re down for storytime-”

“I am not ‘down’ for anything. Do you come here to mock me?” Gamora rose. She and I were around the same height, and I could see the fine muscles of her arms, chiseled from years of fighting. 

“I just...I wanted to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Thanos talks about you. I just...it’s weird. It’s a long story, but I wanted to see you. Talk to you.” I scratched the back of my neck. There was no way to explain it, no way to explain anything. 

_ Yeah, I’m from the future and I saw you because I had your father’s memories. _

_ I felt him care about you in his own fucked up, demented way. _

I mean, she had to have seen weirder things. I’m sure this wasn’t all that new to her. She could take it, right?

“I’m sorry. You’re in here because of me. I told Thanos...well, Thanos actually already knew so I guess it wasn’t really my fault.” I looked at the ground, fiddling with the hem of my tunic. “There’s just a lot I need to explain before you understand what the fuck is happening.”

Gamora smirked. She looked me up and down. Nonchalantly, she said, “There are rumors that you are carrying.”

“Yeah.”

“My father always spoke of wanting a biological child. Someone he didn’t have to _capture_ and _ruin_.” Gamora spat. “Maybe that monster will learn to love after all.”

“He loves me. He loves you. He does.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “He does. He just...I’ve seen it-”

“He loves us _both_ the way a master loves his pet. You just happen to be carrying his child,” Gamora said. She crossed her arms, shifting her weight onto one foot. “How did he find you? I wasn’t aware that he was scouring Terra in search of partners.”

I sucked in a breath. “I keep mentioning ‘complicated’ stuff..that’s complicated. Like, time-travel complicated.”

Gamora raised an eyebrow. I saw her work her jaw, one foot tapping against the stone floor. 

I continued, “I know about the Soul Stone. It’s on Vromir.”

Gamora tensed up. Her eyes met mine and she breathed, “How do you know this?”

“Doesn’t matter. I know, and _Thanos_ knows. And to get it, he’ll have to use you. I watched it happen, I know what has to be done.”

“Then do it. You’ve devoted yourself to Thanos. Go get the stone, show him your loyalty.”

“I can’t, and I’m not.”

“Then why are you here?”

I rolled my shoulders. There was no sense in hiding my intentions - they were clear to both myself and, I hoped, to Gamora.

“Because what you choose to do is going to determine whether or not I get you out of here.”

* * *

“Ronan wishes to speak with you.” 

“Shit. Uh, I’m not in charge.”

“Thanos would beg to differ. He entrusted you with any urgent information,” Maw added.

_ Shit. _

I tried to be as dignified as possible as I walked over to where Ronan’s face was projected on the holoscreen. I didn’t dare sit in Thanos’ throne, and I hoped Ronan would take that as a sign that I didn’t know what the  _ fuck _ I was doing. Regardless, I still had to brace myself, full aware that I was about to be chewed out for something that wasn’t really under my control.

_ It’s like working in retail all over again. _

“I expect discipline from your children. Proxima has not and will not follow the orders I specifically gave her. She is a menace, and a wench.”

Luckily, Corvus wasn’t around - Ronan didn’t seem to care how he spoke, and I knew it was because of Thanos’ absence. I could feel those black eyes on me, and he was a lot more frightening blown up a hundred times bigger than he actually was. 

“Did you ever consider that your orders might be dumb? I know Proxima can be a bitch, but she’s pretty damn good at what she does.”

Ronan looked genuinely offended. That, of course, quickly turned into rage. It was a cool rage, exemplified by him hissing, “Get me Thanos.”

“He ain’t here. You’ll have to complain to me.”

“I did not know that his glorified whore spoke for him.”

“His ‘glorified whore’ is always one step ahead of you. Listen, just...focus on what you have to do. Ignore Proxima. I’m sure someone as strong as you wouldn’t have a problem picking up her slack,” I went for charm, trying to stroke Ronan’s ego before I could get yelled at once more. It didn’t seem to be working. “I’ll send Corvus. That way you can listen to the two of them fucking all night.”

Ronan grimaced. “Keep him. We have made significant progress, even in the wake of...setbacks. You will report this news to Thanos.”

“Yep. I’ll let him know.”

“Do not forget.”

Then he was gone. No goodbye, no thank you. I was staring at a blank wall, now.

I glanced over at Maw. He gave a small, rather cheeky grin and said, “ _Superb_.”

“I’ll never get used to living around species that just...please and thank you aren’t in their vocabulary. Maybe it’s just the Kree. I don’t know. You said "please" once, right, Maw?”

“I can’t recall.”

“See, right there. You said it straight up. You didn’t have to be a dick about it, you just said ‘I don’t know’ and moved on. Listen, Maw, you’re creepy as shit to look at but I dig you. You’re my favorite.” 

I wasn't sure whether or not Maw could say the same thing back, but it didn’t matter.

“Though Ronan has the demeanor of a bratty child, antagonizing him is unwise,” Maw said as I bypassed him. I intended to head to my room, but stopped at Maw’s words. 

“If he acts like a child, I’m going to tell him that he acts like a child. I’m not afraid of him, Maw.”

He tilted his head to the side, but said nothing as I finally headed to my room. It felt empty without Thanos, and I tried to quell the rising feeling of sadness as I climbed into bed. I was already missing him, and for the first time, I started to wonder what exactly he was doing and where exactly he’d gone.

_ To raze another planet, of course.  _

His armor was gone. It usually hung over near the bathing area, but I didn’t see it. That was a sure sign that wherever he was, he was fighting. Killing. 

_ Learn to live with it. _

I couldn’t sleep. I almost didn’t want to sleep. I slipped from the bed, heading, once more, towards the holding cells. Gamora seemed to anticipate my arrival this time, and she was already standing by the time I faced her cell.

“Have you made a decision?”

“You never told me why you’re choosing _me_ over the father of your child. You will be punished.” Gamora stepped close to the bars, wrapping her fingers around them. 

“Don’t care. You don’t belong in here. You have an entire journey ahead of you, and I can’t let Thanos take that away. I love him. I do. But I can’t...I just can’t let him get away with finding those stones. I know what happens if he does.”

Gamora ducked her head. I saw her fiddle with something, and before I could step back, she lashed out and kicked the cell doors.

It should have held. _Should_ have. But they didn’t - the screws had been loosened, and the moment the thick bars hit me in the face, I knew it had all be Gamora’s doing. 

I landed, hard, and the cell door landed on top of me. I grunted, struggling to push the heavy weight away from my body as Gamora simply stepped from her cell and watched. 

“Fuck you. How the _hell-_ ”

Gamora smirked. “I plan ahead. You think my father hasn't punished me before?” she said. She knelt, and to my surprise, began helping me remove the cell door. “ _This_ was my punishment. This cell was where I stayed whenever I disobeyed him."

“You loosened the screws? Smart,” I hissed. I got to my feet, and instantly Gamora grabbed me. Her grip was firm, and she leaned in close. 

“Don’t think you’re going to be let off easy.”

“As long as you’re not taking me with you.”

Gamora rolled her eyes, and I knew she had no intention of letting me go.

I was caught, yet I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I should have been. Maybe it was  because, deep down, I knew that Gamora wouldn’t harm me. I could see it in her eyes - her lips were pressed into thin line and she looked hesitant to even touch me. 

“Get moving.”

Gamora kept a firm grip on the back of my shirt the entire time we traversed the halls of Thanos’ ship, yanking me to cover, covering my mouth with her hand whenever someone walked past. The walk to the escape pods felt much longer than it probably was, and when we reached them, we stood in agonizing silence. 

Gamora gestured for me to get in, and I did. The pod was small, cramped, and I absently rested a hand on my swollen belly as Gamora joined me and began fiddling with the controls. The door hissed and shut, and I closed my eyes. The pod shot forward, and when I finally forced myself look, we were heading away from the main ship.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Xandar.”

_ Now _ I was afraid. The pod sped throughout the expanse of space, Thanos’ ship getting smaller and smaller with each passing second. My fingers twitched, and I knew that my chances of winning any sort of fight were slim to none. 

“How did you meet my father?”

Gamora’s words were soft, devoid of any hostility. I was suddenly reminded of her first meeting with Thanos, which had been far less pleasant than mine. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

I did. I told her everything, from the moment Thanos landed in my kitchen to the moment Clint Barton nailed me with an arrow. She listened, silent, the entire time. She didn’t chime in, and by the time I was finished, my eyes felt wet. I was crying, not realizing how painful recounting some of the memories would be. I hadn’t once allowed myself to truly ponder over all that I’d been through. 

“I love Thanos. I do. It’s fucked up, I know it’s fucked up, but I love him.,” I wiped my eyes. “I want to try and make things right. I think he...he thinks what he’s doing is right. I want him to know, I want him to see, that it’s _not_.”

Gamora nodded slowly. She had a troubled look in her eyes, and said, “To get the Soul Stone, one must trade the person they cherish most. A soul for a soul. I have no doubt that my father will choose the stone over the life of you and your child.”

“Is that why you’re making me come with you? Because you're trying to save me?"

Gamora paused. 

“I don’t know. Perhaps.”

I huffed and leaned back, stretching my legs out as far as they could go. I was uncomfortable, and being pregnant certainly didn’t make the tight space easier to sit in. We bypassed planets of all sizes, and I wondered just how far we were from Xandar. I had no idea what I would do, should we reach the planet. I had no idea what Gamora would do, and I wondered if she’d just turn me in to the authorities. I had to have a price on me, just like Thanos. 

_ You’re an easy bargaining chip. Not much you can do about it. _

Of course, the second I began to doze off, Gamora shook me awake. Her movements were frantic, and the minute I opened my eyes, I discovered why.

I recognized Ronan’s hulking ship immediately. It passed over us, and absently, I cursed as the bay doors began to open and our tiny escape pod was ushered towards it, pulled by an invisible force. 

“Shit.”


	20. Limbs

“Your presence here is...unexpected, but not unwelcome,” Ronan’s eyes flitted between Gamora and I. He was keeping his demeanor calm, analyzing us, reading us. I pulled my jacket tighter against my body, as if it would protect me from his stare. I let Gamora do the talking, and off to the side, I saw Nebula glare. She was leaning against the wall, alone - I didn’t see Proxima. Just a few armed guards and a man I recognized as Korath.

“Why an escape pod?” Ronan questioned.

“You know why,” Gamora murmured.

“I’m inclined to say I’m not surprised, but _she_ ,” Ronan jerked his chin towards me, “Makes things more complicated. You’ve taken Thanos’ prized whore-”

“I’m not his ‘prized whore’, asshole,” I snapped. “I should have told you this the last time we talked, but you have a shit attitude.”

“His _breeder_ , then,” Ronan gestured to my stomach. “He can’t even trust one of his _own_ with an heir. That is a testament to both you and Nebula’s abilities, as well as Thanos’ inadequacy.”

“He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.”

“I can prove you wrong,” Ronan motioned for Korath, but Gamora stepped between the two of us. The look in her eye was subtle, but bold enough that Korath stopped.

“We don’t want any trouble. We’re just passing by.”

“You were in an escape pod. Your objective was to _not_ be seen. I’m curious as to why.” Ronan stepped closer, until he was towering over me. There wasn’t a screen separating us, and he wasn’t thousands of miles away this time. This was real - _he_ was real - and whatever I said would have consequences.

“Father had her locked up for _treason_ ,” Nebula sneered. I saw Gamora mutter a curse towards her sister, and I hissed, diverting my gaze towards the ground. A moment later, it was forced back up by Ronan’s strong finger staking hold of my face.

“Treason? That alone guarantees your demise, but to steal from Thanos?” Ronan smirked. “A fate worse than death awaits you.”

I jerked away from Ronan. The movement caused him to snarl and lash out. I was backhanded, hard, across the face.

“ _Ronan_ ,” Gamora gave short, sighing plea.

I shook the cobwebs out of my mind, returning to reality. Ronan’s knuckles gently stroked the red mark from his hit.

“You were running from your father. For once, he isn’t here to catch you. _And_ you bring me his breeder,” Ronan smirked at Gamora.

“First whore, now breeder. Fucking _great_. Fuck you.”

Ronan ignored me as I spat obscenities, still dangerously close as he addressed me.

“How far would Thanos go to get you back?”

“He’d kill you. You _know_ he’d kill you,” I snarled. “All you’re doing is _asking_ to die. You can’t fight him - you don’t _want_ to fight him. You can’t win this one.”

“Oh, I intend on winning. After the ash settles and your husband lies dead, you and I will become _acquainted_ ,” Ronan’s sneer was vile. His eyes travelled to my midsection, and I saw his lips curl back over his teeth when he noticed that the swell of my stomach wasn’t exactly from me eating to much.

I usually didn’t like to think about the powers I’d once had, or the strength. This was one of those times, however, when I really, really wished I had Titan blood in me. I could fight. I would fight, had I known that I could potentially win. But now, I was vulnerable and left with only one line of defense.

I spat. The globule smacked Ronan in the jaw.

“ _Fuck you_.”

Ronan grasped my neck and lifted me into the air as if I weighed nothing. My feet dangled, and I clawed at his knuckles. Gamora surged forward, and Korath reached for her - only to wind up with his own knife embedded in his hand, pinning the limb to the floor and rendering him immobile.

My feet hit the floor, and Ronan drew his own blade. I made a split second decision and clamped my teeth down onto his hand, causing him to drop his weapon. He roared, and I bit down harder.

_“Nebula! Guards!”_

The chaos lasted for only a few moments, but it felt like hours. Gamora dispatched two of the guards and then took off, drawing Nebula and the others with her. They disappeared down the hall, and soon, the only sounds were Korath’s grunts of pain and Ronan’s snarls.

I stumbled back, wiping blood from my lips - Kree blood. It tasted bitter, acidic. I spat again and met Ronan’s predatory gaze.

“ _Whore_.”

“Am I a whore or a breeder? Pick one, bitch.”

A sharp jab to my lower gut was all it took. I dropped like a sack of potatoes, gasping for air, arms wrapped around my body. The tremendous pressure hurt, bad. I was gaping like a fish out of water, sprawled across the floor while Ronan stepped over me.

I barely had any fight left, and even if I did, there was no beating Ronan. Korath had managed to free his hand and was cradling the bleeding limb against his chest. I saw him draw his dagger, a long, jagged weapon, and point it towards my face.

“Shall I kill her?”

“No. I will cut that _abomination_ from her belly and crush its head beneath my heel. _Then_ I will claim her.” Ronan tilted his head to the side. “She needs to be shown the strength of the Kree.”

“Forcing yourself on me won’t be showing ‘true strength,’” I gasped. “You didn’t earn me, and you sure as hell don’t deserve me. You aren’t getting me, either.”

“We’ll see,” Ronan smiled. “What Thanos had is now mine. _Forever_.”

Forever lasted about three seconds.

Korath’s blade flew from his hand and impaled itself into his shoulder. He roared, and droplets of hot blood splattered against my cheek. Something yanked my leg, though when I looked, nothing was there.I slid across the ground and into one of the nearby rooms. The second I still, the doors hissed shut. Ronan’s bellows echoed throughout the ship, but they were the least on my mind.

“My, _my_ . What will _Thanos_ say about this?”

I met Maw’s gaze. He stood, fingers laced together, looking absolutely bored and unbothered that someone was pounding on the door. He waited and soon the noise stopped. As I struggled to my feet, the doors slid back open, and I was met with the sight of Korath and Ronan on their knees, stripped of the their weapons. Corvus’ spear rested dangerously close to Ronan’s head, while Cull towered over them all.

I grasped Maw’s arm as we walked into the vast room, and my gaze fell on Korath, who was desperately nursing the new injury to his shoulder.

“Father left the girl in charge,” Maw said. “She will decide your fate.”

“We simply intercepted Gamora, and _she_ happened to be aboard the pod as well,” Ronan explained, his voice even and, to my dismay, calm. “There was no ill intent. Gamora has escaped - she is the true enemy.”

I saw Corvus hesitate a bit, eyes momentarily scanning the room for Proxima, but still keep his spear raised. Maw’s knuckles gently brushed across my cheek, feeling the red mark that I was sure would bruise. He hummed, “You harmed what belongs to Thanos. There will be _repercussions_ , should you be allowed to live. That particular decision is not up to me.”

_This is a dilemma._

_You could seriously fuck up the future. You have no idea how, but you know it can happen._

I rotated sore limbs. Very slowly I went to kneel before Ronan so that I was eye level with the Kree warrior. He growled, the sound low and animalistic in his chest. I could see the slight red flecks in his iris and the tiny scars crisscrossing his unblemished blue skin.

“I don’t ever want to hear you call me a whore again. Or a breeder,” I snarled. I reached over and grasped Korath’s fallen dagger, keeping a firm grip on the handle. I stifled the sinking, gross feeling I had, forcing my brain to take over and deal with the logic. I didn’t want my heart involved.

“What shall I call you, then?” Ronan’s tone was mocking, but I could forgive it.

“Rachel. That’s my name. Now give me your arm.”

“Terran _rat_ -”

I smacked Ronan with the hilt of the dagger. Blood trickled from his nose and he seemed dazed, but still able to bare his teeth.

“What’s my name?”

“Rachel.”

It sounded foreign, coming from his accented voice. But I didn’t care. It was a start, and it was enough.

“Arm,” I said again, more firm this time. Ronan obeyed, glaring daggers at me the entire time. I took a firm hold of his forearm, making sure to shoot him one, final look before I brought the dagger down.

Blood spewed, and the dagger went through the meat and bone easy. Ronan’s severed arm flopped and he bellowed, eyes wide.

_“Arms can be replaced.”_

I had blood on my tunic and in my hair and on my face and hands. The dagger slipped from my fingers, and I could barely speak.

“Get him medical attention, now. I want to go home.”

* * *

Thanos had already returned by the time we reached the ship. I was shivering, shaking like I had a cold, skin pale and clammy. I had so much blood on me, none of it my own. I walked back to my room alone, fingers twitching out of sheer nervousness.

He was removing his armor, shrugging out of his chest plate, when I entered. The first thing I noticed was the open wound near his collarbone - it looked as if it had been inflicted by some sort of electrified whip. The flesh was raw and blackened, cauterized. There was another on his leg.

“Thanos?” My words were a whimper. Thanos’ eyes raked over my bloody clothes and face, and he stopped, dropping his chest plate and hobbling towards me.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I waved away his questing hands. He was checking me for injuries, silent, but determined. It wasn’t until I grabbed his hand that he stopped.

“Gamora, she escaped and took me hostage. Ronan intercepted us and…” I paused, trying to find the right words. “I had to _discipline_ him for his behavior.”

“You are uninjured? And our child?”

“We’re both good,” I murmured. I reached up and ran a finger across the wound on his collarbone, clicking my tongue. “What happened to you?”

“My ship was ambushed. I will live.”

I hugged him. The embrace was tender and long, and I savored every minute of it. Thanos stroked the top of my head my tears fell, and I began sobbing.

“I cut off his arm.”

“What?”

“Ronan. I cut off his arm because he...I had to punish him so I cut off his arm like some sort of butcher. Maw took it for dissection.”

“Arms are simple to replace-”

“I know. I know,” I moaned. “Thanos, I cut off a dude’s _arm_. We don’t do shit like that back on Earth.”

So, yeah, I was a little freaked out. A little spooked. The sound of the dagger sliding through Ronan’s flesh replayed in my head over and over. His screams filled my mind, and I could still feel his blood in my mouth.

“If your objective was punishment, you did your job. There is no shame in that.”

“I don’t want our child cutting off arms,” I cried against his chest. “I can’t. I can’t.”

Thanos shushed me gently, cupping my face between his big hands. As I heaved and sniffed and sobbed, he held me, wiping away stray tears. His tenderness would always surprise me - I’d seen him throw Thor through the air like a rag doll, yet here he was, caressing my face because I was scared and ever so fucked up.

 _Fucked up in the head, for sure_.

“You need to bathe. Warm water will help you relax,” Thanos murmured. He practically carried me to the large washroom, helping me peel my blood soaked clothes from my body.

By now, my eyes were just red and puffy. No tears would fall. I went through the motions, in a daze, and Thanos helped me into the bath. It was big enough that I could stand, and I did, waiting for him to undress and join me. I ducked beneath the water, wetting my hair. When I stood, Thanos was standing before me.

“Turn around,” he murmured. I did, and his big hands began massaging my sore shoulders. I hummed, leaning into his touch. We bathed in silence, but after a while, I turned to examine Thanos’ wounds.

“They will heal,” Thanos assured me. I kissed his chest, and he purred. Still embracing me, he said softly, “Now tell me, why were you visiting Gamora in her cell?”

“I wanted to talk to her. Meet her,” I said. “I felt like I had to, after all the memories I’d seen of her. It felt right. There was nothing she could tell me that I hadn’t already seen.”

“Do you believe her when she says that I am a monster?”

I didn’t reply. Thanos clicked his tongue, his hold on me tightening. We rocked back and forth, glued to one another, with no intention of letting go.

“If you’re a monster, I’m a monster.”

“You’re taking that approach?”

“I have to. For my own sake,” I closed my eyes, and we continued our little back and forth dance, water lapping at our waists - or in my case, just right below my breasts. “I know that love can blind people. I just don’t give a shit anymore.”

“It hasn’t blinded me from my destiny.”

“I know,” I chuckled. “You have better eyesight than I do.”

“Clever girl,” Thanos hummed, running a finger down my spine. I shivered, despite the warmth of the water. “ _My_ clever girl.”

“Apparently I’m not clever enough to think of a name for our kid.”

Thanos chuckled. “In time, you will. In time.”


	21. Rebirth

_Thane._

That was my son’s name. Or, at least, the name I blurted out the second he was in my arms. My entire body felt wobbly and unstable, and I needed help sitting up - immediately, Thanos’ big hand began stroking hair from my sweaty forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding the bundle close to my chest.

“You chose something not of Terran origin?” Maw raised his eyebrows, giving Thanos room to kneel at my bedside. When Thane gave a particularly loud cry, Maw murmured, “Are children always this…. _vocal_?”

“I’d scream too if I popped out of a vag and the first thing I saw was you.”

Thanos snorted, and Maw gave a particularly sour frown before huffing and turning away.

I glanced over at Thanos. He was watching, curious, and I gingerly held Thane towards him.

“I don’t...I could hurt the child. You’re better to keep holding him.”

“Thanos _. Seriously._ You _can_ be gentle. You are with me.”

Thanos nodded, and I helped him properly hold Thane. It dawned on me that he’d probably never actually held a newborn before - I knew that Gamora had been...taken when she was old enough to speak.

“Stay in bed, and rest,” Maw instructed. “I will return shortly.”

“Do you want to hold him, Maw?”

A grimace. The slender alien shook his head almost immediately, hurrying away before I could say another word. I laughed, watching him go, before turning my attention back to Thanos.

Thane looked so small compared to Thanos. His cries had ebbed away, and I could see his little fingers curl into tiny fists. His skin was dark, like mine, and he resembled a human. No purple skin, and I wondered what color his eyes would be, for they had yet to open. Thanos was at peace, staring at his son with hooded eyes.

And thus began the process of raising a newborn.

* * *

**_Five Years._ **

“You’re just as beautiful as you were the day I met you.”

“Black don’t crack, baby,” I raised an eyebrow.

“I...don’t quite understand.”

“It’s an Earth thing...it’s because I’m...you know, nevermind.” I waved a hand, standing beside Thanos as we watched Thane from afar. The kid was training with Proxima and Corvus - already. The kid was five. _Five_ , and he already looked around twelve. And _alien_ \- not that I was complaining.

His skin was a dark purple now, his ears elongated and pointed. He was already far too smart for his own good, and as a human, as someone used to dealing with, well, human kids, it freaked me out a bit.

He was spinning and flipping, and he was incredible dexterous. He wielded the blunt dagger with ease, parrying blows from Proxima and Corvus.

But he was still a kid. Still outmatched, and he went down in a matter of minutes. He came stomping over, rotating his sore wrists.

“Father - I wish to spar with you.”

“We talked about this,” Thanos sighed, and I nodded in agreement.

“Yeah. You’re not old enough and you’re too small. I don’t want to be picking you out of a wall because your dad hit you too hard,” I added. “Go ask Maw. He’s never doing anything. Ever.”

“I asked last time and he said no.”

“Well...you’ll just have to wait. Don’t rush growing up, seriously. I tried that and it wasn’t fun. Being a little kid is super cool. You'll get to spar with your father eventually, I promise."

Shoulders sagging, Thane nodded. He bounced back over to Proxima and Corvus, light on his feet. He began working on his stances, stopping every once and a while when Corvus or Proxima went to correct him. 

“Make sure he doesn’t go too hard. You know how he is.” I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss against Thanos’ cheek. He simply huffed, hands behind his back, gaze zeroed in on Thane. I left the hangar, heading towards Maw’s dingy little lab.

I was immediately greeted - as always - by the sight of Ronan’s arm in a glass case, perfectly preserved. It looked no different than when I’d sliced it off almost five years ago. It was the only thing left of him, and I knew his reign had come to an end on Xandar.

Gamora had been there. I tried not to think about her too much. Or Nebula - she’d disappeared as well.

_It’s only a matter of time before Thanos goes after those stones again._

I shook the thought from my mind. There was no need for negativity. I hadn’t seen Thanos display an ounce of interest in the stones, at least not when I was around. 

“Is there something you want?” Maw called from across the room. He was reading, reclined in one of his chairs. He wasn’t even holding the book, simply letting it levitate, turning each page with a small movement of a finger.

“Yeah. Yeah, actually, I was wondering if you could possibly start teaching Thane...alien stuff. Like, languages, maths. Like, a tutor,” I scratched the back of my neck. “Listen, I’m shit at this kind of stuff. Maybe it’s because I’m the only Terran around. It’s not like I can pack Thane a lunchbox and send him to school or anything.”

Maw stared. I saw him gently place his book on his bedside table before standing, smoothing out his robes and approaching me.

“Has Thanos approved this?”

“Yes. I mean, not really. He doesn’t have to approve shit, and you know that.”

“I was just checking. I do not wish to displease my father,” Maw replied. “I will teach the boy as much as I can.”

“Oh, sweet-”

“ _Only_ if you give me something in return.”

“Oh, lord. What?”

“You seem to take great pleasure in antagonizing me. If you are going to ask for favors, you’d do best to refrain from calling me terms such as ‘Voldemort’ or ‘noodlehead.’”

I gagged on air. Maw said nothing - in fact, he was dead serious. I almost felt bad for laughing.

Almost.

“Fine. I won’t make fun of you anymore. I promise. We cool? We cool. Can I at least get like...one clever nickname per month? The shit is cathartic for me, seriously. C’mon. Just one. One and it’s over.”

“One every three months and we have a deal.”

“I can work with that.”


	22. Zeppelin

“Do you ever think about Hopper?”

Thanos hummed. I hoped I hadn’t woken him - it was an honest question, and I hadn’t really meant to vocalize it. I was thinking of Earth, thinking of home. I did miss it, and I always would, just a tad.

“I do. I also think about Sunshine and Daisy on occasion.”

“Thane should get to visit Earth someday.”

“He will. I promise it.”

I rolled over on the bed. I saw the slight glint of Thanos’ eyes, and the rest of the room was doused in darkness. Hesitantly, I said, “Do you miss our life from before? When we were back on Earth? I obviously wouldn’t trade it, now - I couldn’t give up Thane. But sometimes I wonder what things would have been like…”

“I never did get to listen to your Earth music.” 

I barked a laugh. “Ah, shit, yeah. We would have found out your preference - Zeppelin or ACDC. Or Beyonce. I’m still pissed that I got an arrow to the chest. What a dumb way to go. Not at all _honorable_.”

“You’ve certainly made up for it.”

“God, I hope,” I trailed off, wrinkling my nose at the sudden realization. “You gave up your goal for me. You had what you wanted, you’d balanced everything...and then you gave it up for me.”

“I had no choice.”

“You had a choice, Thanos.”

“And I made the right one.”

I smiled, sitting up so I could roll over and straddle his waist. I placed soft kisses against his mouth, pressing my body along his, making sure he felt my warmth - and in, turn, I could feel his.

“You once called me insatiable,” Thanos mused, grinning against my lips. “It seems you are the one living up to those words, not me.”

“Oh, hush,” I murmured. I pressed my palm flat against his bare chest, stopping for a moment to feel each scar splashed across his skin.

“Promise me,” I said slowly, “That you won’t go after those stones.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Thanos-”

“Are you worried about losing me?”

I nodded, gnawing on my lower lip as I contemplated on how to word my next sentence. I eventually gave up and just said, “You and Thane are my world. _Both_ of you.”

“Then I will return to you, every day. Always. Do you know what motivates me to fight?” Thanos brushed his thumb across my lips. “The knowledge that you and Thane are here, waiting for me to return. Nothing will keep me from you _or_ our son. _Nothing_ . You must _trust_ me.”

“You aren’t invincible. Please, remember that before you go off and make rash decisions.”

Thanos gave a slight nod, his eyes narrowing. Nevertheless, he pulled me close and pressed a kiss atop my head. I relaxed, and eventually felt myself drift off to sleep.

* * *

The second I woke up, I could feel Thanos’ thick fingers graze across my clothed cunt - I grunted, clenching around nothing as my eyes began to adjust to the light. I sunk deeper into the mattress, lips parted in contentment as he continued to lightly stroke between my legs, before dipping his fingers past my panties. I bucked my hips, and Thanos seemed to bask in the sound of my moans.

“Perhaps I should remain in bed the rest of today…” Thanos mused, pressing his lips against my ear. “Pleasuring you and giving you everything I have.”

“Hm, but you have your duties. You can’t neglect those,” I whine. There was little conviction in my voice, and Thanos chuckled as I began begging.

“More, please, more...please-”

“As you wish, wife.”

He pistoned his fingers in and out of my weeping cunt until I came. Mouth open in a silent cry, I rode out my orgasm, chest heaving. Thanos removed his fingers, staring at the glistening skin, before popping them into his mouth.

“Divine. Sweeter than anything I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting,” Thanos murmured. I ran my hand down his chest, scowling as he rolled out of my grip and off the bed to begin dressing.

I watched, soaking in every inch of his muscular physique until I forced myself to rise and put on my own clothes. Making sure to conceal the dagger he’d given me beneath my robes, I followed Thanos from our room. I knew that Thane would be with Maw, working on his teachings. I prayed he wasn’t causing any trouble, but just out of curiosity, I poked my head into Maw’s study.

Thane was dangling upside down in midair, held by an invisible hand. Maw was nonchalantly reading something while Thane crossed his arms.

I smiled cheekily. “Is he being good?”

“Oh, as you can see, he is a model student,” Maw rolled his eyes, looking up from his book. “If he could sit still, our lesson would go by much faster.”

“I don’t want to sit still.”

I raised my eyebrows at Thane’s words, entering the room. I heard Thanos snort, staying outside in the hall while I corralled Thane and got him firmly seated in a chair.

“You know why you can’t run around, right?”

“Because Maw is teaching.”

“Exactly. You have to sit still, and listen. This will all be valuable in the future. This isn’t like the school I went to. You’ll use this for sure,” I squeezed Thane’s hand. “So, just, be good. You won’t regret it.”

“Yes, Mother.”

His gaze shifted to his feet, and he kicked at the ground lightly before peering up at Maw. He seemed attentive and ready, so I pressed a kiss on his forehead and left him.

The second I exited the room, I wrapped an arm around Thanos’ bicep and said, “You sure you don’t want more kids?”

“Thane is a...handful. Like his mother,” Thanos chuckled, and I playfully nudged him in the ribs. “The two of you are enough for me.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” I smiled, and Thanos hummed. After a moment, he glanced down at me.

“I believe it would be beneficial for Thane to accompany Maw on his next outing.”

_Oh, here we go._

“Thanos-”

“He needs to learn,” Thanos stopped, rounding on me. “The sooner he understands my mission, the better. We cannot shield him from it.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, and I felt Thanos’ big hand on my arm. His fingers languidly stroked the skin, and I murmured, “Shit. Fine. But I’m going, too.”

“Are you sure? I do know that you find my methods unappealing-”

“It’s better that I go. Trust me.”

For almost six years, I’d stayed out of Thanos’ business - his mission of balancing the universe was his, and his alone. I kept Thane away as well, secretly hoping that he wouldn’t adopt the mentality his father had.

_One trip won’t undo that. It’s the ones after that you’re worried about._

“You can voice your concerns with me. You do know that,” Thanos said softly. I leaned into his touch, opting to shrug my shoulders.

“Thane is smart as a whip. He’ll understand. That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want to box him in, force him to be something he isn’t.”

“You’re worried he’ll follow the same path as I?” 

“No. Maybe. I don’t know,” I frowned. “I wouldn’t be able to deter him if one day he decided continue your mission. He’s stubborn like that. Like you.”

“He is a capable fighter, and I believe he will be a strong leader. He is also my offspring. It is only natural that I desire him as my replacement,” Thanos said. “However, I am not opposed any alternatives.”

“He could want to be a gardener. You never know.”

“It would be a waste of talent.”

“I’m just saying. He might decide he finds pleasure in growing things instead of destroying them,” I said. “I’m going with Maw too, alright? Just to see. I feel like I have to. Like I’m obligated.” 

“If you do, take your dagger and keep it close. You will have the Chitauri at your disposal as well,” Thanos said. I nodded, and he dropped his hand from my arm. Caramel eyes peered down at me, a slight, yet rather cheeky smile stretching across his face. “Now, since you will be leaving me for a few days…”

“You _insatiable_ man.”

“You haven’t complained yet,” Thanos ducked his head, and I laughed as he began pressing soft kisses against my throat. He was practically bent over, a reminder that I’d hardly grown over the past five years. A reminder that I was still Terran, my blood still the same as when I’d left Earth.

He reached my mouth, and I leaned into his kiss. Hot, breathy moans escaped me, and Thanos was getting handsy, palms against my rear and back and breasts. I pulled away and gestured down the hall.

“Let’s not do this here.”

I smiled.

“Then lead the way.”


	23. Chase Destiny

“Maw is looking for you,” Proxima said without preamble, entering the training room and catching me off guard as I rammed my fist into the practice dummy. Corvus followed close behind her, and I couldn’t help but smile as he shot me a rare, cheeky grin. 

“Is that good or bad?”

“Depends,” Proxima answered. “Did you upset him earlier?”

Wiping sweat from my brow, I headed over and took a seat on one of the plush mats in the corner. Thane was with his father, giving me just enough time to get some exercise in before I went back to pouring over the invasion plan. 

_ Maw probably wants to go over the details with you. _

Shrugging off Proxima’s words, I said, “Has Thane been improving?”

“He has. He is fast and fearsome,” Corvus answered. “He’ll be a true  _ terror  _ before he even hits age twelve. You should be proud. Thanos is.”

“Oh, I know,” I snorted. “I am proud.”

Proxima took a seat next to me while Corvus leaned against the wall. I couldn’t help but think back - we’d been adversaries, once, and less than friendly towards one another. That wasn’t really the case any more. We had to get along to survive, and I could now say that Proxima and I were closer. Maybe not “sister” close, but close enough that I could confide in her. 

“Maybe I’m overreacting, hyping this up for no reason,” I began, twiddling my thumbs. “I’m just...nervous about going with Maw. I’ve kept myself away, kept Thane away, because I was scared at what I’d see. Now I feel obligated to face it, even though I don’t want to.”

“I have a hard time believing that  _ you _ find the prospect of death and decay troubling,” Proxima said coolly. “You, after all, have killed and fought before. This will be no different.”

I flinched. “Still…”

“Still. Thane will learn from this experience, as will you,” Proxima noticed my uneasy look, and she relaxed her posture a bit, trying to come off as a little bit less... _ intense _ . She reached out and clasped my hand, adding, “Trust me. You will be in good hands as well.”

“Maw’s hands,” I grimaced, and Corvus chuckled.

“Speaking of, you are keeping Maw waiting. Hurry along before he comes in search of you.”

I raised an eyebrow at Corvus’ words. Proxima squeezed my hand, a comforting gesture. I did feel a bit better, reassured, but at the same time, still on edge. My own nerves were chilled a bit, but now I was thinking about Thane. 

_ By Earth standards, this is taboo. _

_ You’re taking a child into a warzone, in hopes of desensitizing them. _

_ On Earth, it’s wrong, but out here? Different rules. _

I had to keep telling myself that, all the way to Maw’s lab. I entered without knocking, and found him hunched over a pile of papers. He barely moved when the automatic door opened and then closed.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Sit.”

“I’m having dejavu,” I pulled up a chair, straddling it as I waited for Maw to face me. When he didn’t reply, I said, “You okay buddy?”

“I wanted to discuss our plans. Since this is your first time participating,” Maw glanced over his shoulder. His usual haggard face looked even more haggard than usual. “And Thanos has placed you and your son under my supervision. This cleansing ritual is...most sacred - each life we claim, each planet we halve brings us one step closer to universal balance. I can only hope that you see as much importance in all of this as I do.”

“Yeah, dude, it’s pretty serious.”

“ _Dude?_ We discussed your habit of name-calling, did we not?”

“‘Dude’ isn’t an insult. You’re a dude. I’m a dude. Thanos is a dude...it’s an Earth figure of speech - I thought I’ve explained that to you, like, five times already-”

“I didn’t deem it important at the moment.”

“Of course not,” I rolled my eyes. “Can we just...get this over with? Explain to me the plan?”

“The Chitauri will drop first. This particular planet has...mediocre defenses at best. There will be little resistance. After the Chitauri have neutralized our targets and rounded up our tribute, I will personally escort you and Thane to the planets surface,” Maw crossed his arms. “You are to touch nothing, and say nothing. Three guards will be with you at all times, and neither you nor Thane are to go anywhere unsupervised.” 

“You run a tight ship.”

“A majority of these orders came from Thanos. I am simply the messenger.”

_ Of course. _

“Cool. Sounds fun. When’s our lunch break?”

Maw’s smile was disturbing - it reminded me of a shark. For the first time in almost six years, I took a moment to study his teeth. I hadn’t realized before, but he had canines. Sharp canines. 

“No need to worry about that. By the time the sun sets, you will have everything  _ but  _ an appetite.”

* * *

“Maw gave me the rundown. I’m super stoked. Totally one-hundred percent down with this,” I fumbled with my shirt, peeling it off my body. I grabbed a towel, totally aware that Thanos hadn’t replied. He was hunched over in his chair, doing something over at the wooden table in the corner of our room.

I bathed in silence, bouncy and on the edge of my toes the entire time. When I entered the room, Thanos was still sitting, though he was facing me, brows raised in a silent question. 

“I’ve told you. If you are uncomfortable, you do not have to-”

“No, I know. I want to go. I do,” I let out a sigh. “If Thane is going, I’m going. It’s just on the surface...it’s weird. I’m nervous. I’m feeling fifty different things at one time.”

Thanos patted his thigh, and I deftly slid into his lap. My hair was damp, skin still flushed from the warm water. Thanos began toying with the towel around my body, a deep hum emanating from within him. 

“Everything will be fine. There is no need for you to worry. You and Thane will both be in the hands of capable warriors.”

“And Maw,” I mumbled. “But I guess he’s capable.”

I tilted my head up, peering into his bright eyes. After pressing a chaste kiss against his parted lips, I settled into his warm embrace. 

After a while, Thanos said, “You know...I...I’m not  _ opposed _ to having another child.”

“Neither am I,” I murmured. I felt Thanos chuckle. His big hand was stroking my back languidly, breath tickling the top of my head.

“I suppose we should hold this discussion until you return. Such a decision should not be pondered over when one’s mind is less than sharp. You are exhausted -  _ rest _ .”

“I’ll rest. I love you.”

“I love you as well.”

I was asleep before Thanos could even slip me beneath the covers. 


	24. Blinded

The planet fell in a matter of minutes. No turrets tried to shoot the Leviathans from the sky, and only a few Chitauri were killed, downed by arrows and axes. The native species were humanoid, with bright pink skin and big, bug eyes. They had four fingers and they were dangerously agile and small. The planet was mainly dense jungle, the flora unfamiliar, the trees massive, the trunks big enough that they could certainly fit a person, if not several people. I didn’t have much time to marvel at it and take it all in. My brain was focused more on our morbid task. 

The mission was simple. Maw, Thane and I, along with the Chitauri, waltzed into the central village. Those that ran were rounded up. Those that stayed were also rounded up and split into groups. Thane and I stayed in the shadows, opting to keep out distance. This wasn’t my show, anyway.

“Sacrifices must be made,” Maw was speaking calmly. Looking entirely at ease despite the screams and the pleas. Even with the language barrier, I could understand what was being said. Cries for help. Begging. 

“This is what Father does when leaves?” Thane asked. He didn’t sound disgusted or frightened. He sounded curious, as if he wanted to know more. 

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He does it in the name of balance,” I answered. The words tasted bitter. Thane was holding my hand, and I squeezed it as Maw paced back and forth, before finally giving the order. The killing was quick, screams stifled and cut off by the Chitauri’s blaster fire. Bodies upon bodies lay, and the air stunk of burnt flesh and fabric. 

“Balance,” Thane hummed. His eyes were on the corpses littering the ground. The human part of me wanted to shield his eyes, yank him away. I saw Maw glance up and smirk. “Can we go closer?”

“No.”

Thane scowled. Maw approached, and he extended a hand, though it wasn’t for me. 

I didn’t feel well. In fact, I felt ill. Maybe it was the scent of burning flesh, maybe it was the planet's atmosphere. I didn’t know, and I didn’t plan on finding out. The best option was the one Maw offered.

“I can watch Thane,” Maw said. “If you are unwell you should return to the ship.”

“I’m fine.”

“Rachel,” Maw said sweetly. Thane took his hand, and he reached out to touch my shoulder. “The situation is under control.”  
Right. Yeah. The bodies littering the ground told me that it was. I really, really didn’t want to stay out in the village courtyard surrounded by corpses. I really didn’t want to be on this planet, period.

“Stay close to Maw,” I told Thane. “Listen to what he tells you to do, okay?”

“Yes, Mother.”

I released Thane hand, watching as he stayed glued to Maw’s side as they began walking. I gestured for two of the Chitauri to follow as I turned and began walking towards the Q ship, guards hot on my heels. We made our way through the winding village, and I couldn’t help but feel perturbed by how empty it was now. It had been bustling when we’d first arrived, but all that had quickly changed. 

I stopped. My eyes flitted to the roof of an adjacent building - I was certain I’d seen something. Something small, and pink. One of the villagers, perhaps? 

I received my answer in the form of a hatchet. 

The thing struck one of the Chitauri in the forehead, cutting it through cleanly. It bounced across the pavement, and my hands immediately went to the dagger at my hip. 

We had company. Two of them - pink skinned, bug eyed aliens who were attacking with a vengeance. The first was brawny, stocky, while the second was slender and far more quick. It had a bow, and before it could notch an arrow, I struck.

Not today. 

I’d been shot once. I sure as hell wasn’t getting hit again. I tried to remember what I’d seen Proxima do, but I wasn’t able to conjure up anything useful before I was slamming into the alien like a linebacker. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Chitauri outright impale his attacker on his spear, twisting and forcing the assailant onto the dirt. 

I went for the neck. My shirt and hand immediately became soaked in purple blood as I drove the dagger into my opponent’s throat. I cried out in shock at my own brutality, yanking the weapon free and letting the body fall to the ground. 

“Holy fuck,” I breathed. I heard hurried footsteps, and saw Maw and Thane approach. Thane stopped a few feet away, staring at the blood on my skin and the weapon in my hand. I quickly sheathed it, using my pants to wipe off the residue from my fingers. I let out a sigh, steeling myself as Maw glanced down at the bodies.

“Can you take him to the ship?” I asked the Chitauri. The creature gave a snort, nodding. “Thane-”

The kid didn’t protest. He hurried along, making his way towards the hulking Q ship in the distance. I slumped against a nearby wall, catching my breath. 

Maw made no move to comfort me. He just watched as I regained my composure and stood back up.

“Some trip, huh?” I chuckled. “I feel like I should get used to it, though.”

“Come,” Maw beckoned me closer. I rolled my shoulders, stepping forward. He immediately went to checking me over, making sure I wasn’t injured. I rolled my eyes at his thoroughness, but before I could push him away, he grabbed my arm in a vice grip. “They were the only attackers, correct?”

“Yeah. I only saw them,” I jerked my chin towards the bodies. The area was eerily silent, the buildings casting shadows on us and everything else. “They jumped us.” 

“A I instructed them,” Maw’s words were barely above a whisper.

_ Pardon?  _

“Pardon?” I raised my eyebrows, deciding to double check to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. “‘As you  _ what _ ?’”

It didn’t take long for me to figure out why Maw was holding me - he was keeping me  _ still _ , keeping me trapped. I didn’t see the blade before it was too late - it shot from beneath Maw’s robes and I felt cold steel rip through my flesh. The sound I made was inhuman - a shrill scream combined with a gasp. I tried to curse, tried to beat Maw’s head in with my fists, but I couldn’t.

_ What the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK! _

_ You rat bastard! _

My mind immediately went to Thane. Was he dead? Had the Chitauri led him away, only for him to be slaughtered? Was he gutted, sliced open somewhere? 

My back slammed against the wall as Maw drove the blade again and again into my body. His spindly fingers clamped across my mouth, keeping me from screaming. His eyes were cold and dead. 

I passed out. 

When I woke up, I was floating. Leaves brushed across my skin, tickling my ears and lips. The village was gone - I could see the faint outline of the Q ship hovering above, only to disappear as we ventured deeper into the woods. Something hot and wet splattered against my socks, filling my boots. 

I managed one word.

“ _ Where _ ?”

I knew Maw was the one carrying me, keeping me from thrashing around in mid air. I felt the urge to pass out again, fatigue overtaking my entire body as I struggled to even breathe correctly. 

I saw it. The pit. The mouth of the cave was open, a hard, sloping drop right to the bottom. I kicked my legs, tried to scream. Maw held me in a vice grip. 

_ This is a bad dream. This is a bad dream.  _

_ This is a bad dream. _

Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to wake up safe, with Thanos. The pain I was feeling, the blood, Maw’s sneering face, all of this couldn’t be real.

Maw stopped. I glared at him, shaking as unconsciousness began to grip me once more. 

“I suppose you deserve an explanation.”

“Fuck you.”

“I won’t miss your vulgarity. However, this is not because I have a personal vendetta, it is because you….weaken my father. You are an illness, a virus that needs to be properly medicated and eradicated,” Maw crossed his arms. “You made it so simple for me.”

“I trusted you.”

That hurt more than the wounds on my body. I’d trusted him. I’d trusted him, and he’d taken advantage of that. 

All along, he’d been lying.  _ Plotting _ .

“You did trust me. You had no choice,” Maw’s smile was almost sad. “If it is any consolation, Thane will not be harmed. He is aboard the ship as we speak, safe. His mother, however, will have suffered an  _ accident _ .” 

With a wave of his finger, Maw slipped my jacket from my shivering body. It was stained with my blood, soaked through. The piece of apparel landed in his hand, and he looked down at it, testing its weight.

“How long did you plan this all out, asshole?” I managed to gulp. Maw seemed disinterested, and just shrugged his shoulders. 

“As I said, the matter is not personal. I’m simply taking the steps my father is too cowardly to take. Severing the weakest link so that everything else can thrive, if you will.”

“ _Fuck_ you.”

Maw waved a hand, and I dropped like a sack of potatoes. My back hit the dirt, and I rolled, tumbling head over heels until I slammed hard against the bottom. When I glanced up, I saw Maw peering over the edge. He watched for a moment, and in a desperate attempt, I reached for him. I prayed that maybe, somehow, he’d reconsider. Maybe this was an elaborate, fucked up prank and he’d yank me out at the last minute. 

He didn’t.

“This is where the natives species dump their  _ trash _ and any other...undesirables. You will die surrounded by what you are. _ Ironic _ .”

Maw disappeared, and I screamed a curse. Using the small bit of adrenaline I had left - sheer rage was keeping me alive at this point - I tore a long strip of cloth from my tunic, and with trembling fingers began wrapping it around the wound. I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood already, and as soon as I tied the last knot, I collapsed. 

_ Fuck. Fuck. _

_ God help me. _


	25. Fear

_ Wake up.  _

_ Wake up. You’ll die if you don’t wake up. _

I opened my eyes. I was still in the pit. Still lying on the ground, limbs twisted beneath me. I coughed a few times, trying to gather enough strength to at least sit up. Even that was a struggle, and I found myself dragging my half dead body across the dirt instead.

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. _

My tongue felt huge in my mouth. My gaze traveled from the little patches of grass beneath my bloody fingers, to the pair of feet that seemed to be shifting in and out of view. I blinked to try and clear my vision, but nothing changed. Whoever this person was, they stopped, not even bothering to kneel down by my side.

“ _ Help _ .”

It was all I could croak out. 

“Help yourself. This is your fault,” Natasha’s voice was cold and distant. “All of this. You’re going to die here. Thanos won’t come for you. _No one_ will. You’re _alone_.”

I pulled myself across the ground, towards the sloped sides of the massive hole. I could climb up, couldn’t I? Except it looked so far. It was so far. I didn’t have the energy. 

_ Yes you can! Try! _

The pit was massive, and as I looked around for an alternate escape, I saw bones. Animal bones, the bones of the natives, everything. There were carcasses as well, some rather fresh. Something had picked them apart. 

“It’s better that you let go. Thanos won’t mourn you. He never cared about you - he just used you as his breeding stock,” Natasha jeered. “He doesn’t know what love is. He never  _ loved _ you-”

“Shut up,” I snarled. 

“It’s true and you know it. It’s better that you let go.”

_ No. Don’t let go. Keep fighting! _

I began crawling up the slope. I made it maybe a meter before the rock beneath my knees gave way and sent me tumbling back down. 

Again.

I fell.

Again. _I had to try again._

Two meters. My fingers were so slippery with blood that I couldn’t get a good grip. This time, the impact knocked me unconscious. 

I passed out to the sound of Natasha’s laughter.

* * *

 

“Stay awake. The next time you close your eyes might be your last.”

Thanos was sitting beside me, posture slack. His armor was streaked with dirt, the exposed skin on his face and hands red with blood - human blood. It made him look intimidating and imposing. 

He shifted in and out of view when I looked at him. I had to squint to focus. 

“Babe, help me. Please-”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“I know, I know, but I need you. Please, help me. Please,” I sucked in a ragged breath, craning my neck. “Babe, I’m _scared_. I don’t want to die-”

“Only a coward fears something as undemanding as death. You are  _ no _ coward.”

“I’m a coward,” I could taste my own tears. “I am.”

Thanos stared down at me, lips drawn into a line. His expression was cold, his eyes narrowed. Then he scowled, shaking his head and booming, “What a disappointment you are.”

He stood, and I reached for him. My fingers grazed nothing, and as he began to walk away, I  _ screamed _ . I kicked and shouted, scooting on my elbows towards the slope. When I looked up, Thanos was gone. 

_ He _ was gone, but whatever had picked apart those carcasses was back. I heard them from within the cave, a wide open mouth that led to pitch blackness. I steered away from it, and in my half delirious state, I managed to unsheathe the dagger Thanos had given me.

I saw them briefly. There was dog-like, scaly, with a talon on each front foot the size of a steak knife. They didn’t attack - they were waiting for me to pass out again, I realized.

_ You have to get out of here. _

I was almost run dry. I’d lost so much blood, and my makeshift bandage soaked through. I had no water. No food. 

I was going to die. I knew it. Reality had hit me long ago, but I was still holding on out of sheer spite. The idea of becoming prey to some alien creature didn’t appeal to me either, and I opted to make my final stand by leaning against the slop, blade drawn. The creature would have to come to me. 

_ Kill at least one of them. It’s four against one. You can manage that.  _

_ Above all, stay awake. You have to stay awake! _

The things emerged from the cave, sniffing at the ground, spread out from one another. Their primary target was me - I could see it in their beady little eyes. I squeezed my dagger and said a quick prayer - mainly so that I could beg God for forgiveness - before straightening up, rolling my shoulders as I got an extra little burst of adrenaline. 

_ Thanos, Thane...I love you both.  _

_ I’m sorry. _

The creatures stopped mid lunge. The explosive sound of a ship engine roared above, followed by blinding overhead lights. I squeezed my eyes shut and heard the creatures howl and take off back into the cave. 

_ “That’s right, assholes! Run away!” _ the loudspeakers boomed, and I saw two shapes drop and skid down the slope. A gloved hand touched my shoulder, and I was suddenly peering into a very familiar pair of eyes.

“Gamora?”


	26. The Spinners

“She knows you? How does she know you? And how do you know her?”

“That’s a _lot_ of blood. _Wow_.”

“Why did we bring her aboard this ship?” 

“She smells... _foul_.”

“Can you please let me stitch her up first. She’s _dying_ \- questions can come later,” Gamora snapped. The ship fell silent. I could feel something poking and prodding at my side. My entire body felt numb from the neck down, and moving didn’t seem to be an option anymore. I could only stay there, eyes screwed shut, as Gamora worked.

I felt slim fingers gently prod at my temples. A moment later, a feminine voice cooed, “She is in _tremendous_ pain.”

“Uh, no _shit_ , Mantis. She got _stabbed_ a bunch of times-”

“She means _mentally_ , Peter,” Gamora said softly. I heard her stand, and a moment later, she was in my line of sight. She stared down at me, a pitiful look on her face, as if I were stray dog in need of a good haircut and a bath. A human male - Peter, I assumed - joined her side, along with a bald alien with dark grey skin, an alien woman with big eyes and an antenna, Rocket - who I recognized - and a curious looking…. _thing_.

I mustered up enough strength to speak. “Is that a fucking _tree_?”

“I _am Groot_.”

“Holy _fuck_.”

“Don’t curse in front of him,” Peter snapped. “Since you’re awake, do you mind telling us who you are?”

My eyes drifted to Gamora. She ducked her head and crossed her arms, and I mentally begged her to answer Peter’s question for me. I wasn’t in the mood to explain my relationship with Thanos. I wasn’t in the mood to explain anything really, but I knew I didn’t have a choice.

“She’s Thanos’ wife,” Gamora said softly.

The uproar was immediate. Rocket and Peter drew their weapons and Groot immediately slunk into the shadows. The dark grey alien was the most vocal and violent - had it not been for Gamora, I would have received a dagger to the face.

“Why the _hell_ do we have her on this ship then?” Peter exclaimed. He backed away, and I saw him head to the cockpit of the ship and begin punching at the controls with furious abandon. “We’re finding the closest meteor and we’re dropping her off-”

“She’s not going anywhere,” Gamora shouted. “Let me explain first - Drax, _please_ , put down your weapon-”

“She doesn’t deserve a chance to explain anything.”

“Yes, she does. I promise. You have to trust me on this,” Gamora’s muscles were taut as she desperately tried to keep the grey alien from stabbing my eyes out. “ _Trust me_.”

Drax’s grip on his dagger slackened, and he hesitated. After a long, silent stare between him and Gamora, he made a noise of disgust and retreated to the cockpit with Peter.

“Thank you,” Gamora murmured. She pinched the bridge of her nose before pulling up a stool and sitting by my side. The ship was quiet, the tension palpable. Peter had swiveled his chair around to look at me, brows furrowed.

I said softly, “It’s been, uh, a while.”

Gamora nodded. “I take it you’ve had your child?”

Drax spun in his chair and Peter opened his mouth to speak, but a firm hand-wave from Gamora along with a quick glare caused them to falter, and remain silent.

“Yeah. His name is Thane. He’s, uh, a handful. He’s a good kid though,” I shrugged slightly. A thought struck me, and I peered around the ship. “Is Nebula here?”

“No. She left shortly before we found you,” Gamora replied.

I hummed and closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. I made a move to sit up, but was unable. “Shit,” I glanced over and saw Groot’s wide eyes, and I corrected myself. “I mean darn. Sorry.”

“I am Groot,” the tone was different this time. It was quieter.

I smiled, addressing Gamora and everyone else on the ship. “Listen, it’s...it’s a lot. Like it’s a long story, and I promise you, I’m not here to cause any trouble.”

“How’d you end up in that ditch?” Rocket asked. “And how’d you end up stabbed?”

“Ebony Maw,” I met Gamora’s gaze, my lips curling into a snarl. “He lured me in. Went behind Thanos’ back and tried to off me because, apparently, I’m a ‘distraction.’”

“It wasn’t my father?” Gamora hummed.

I shook my head. Part of me felt insulted that she would even suggest such a thing, but another part of me understood. Maybe I truly did think too highly of myself.

“I have to get back to him. If you have a smaller ship, anything-”

“You want to go back? Are you crazy?” Peter leaned forward. He looked flabbergasted.

“My son is there.”

Peter’s face fell. I heard Drax snort and say, “Thanos showed no sympathy for my family. Why should I show sympathy for his?” 

“You’re not wrong. You don’t have to feel sorry for me. All I’m asking is that you find the nearest planet and dump me. I can do this on my own-”

“You can’t even walk,” Gamora said. “Much less pilot a ship, even if you were to find one. You need our help, Rachel.”

I huffed, and for the first time, I managed to sit up. Gamora fetched me a blanket, draping it across my shoulders. I felt light headed and dizzy, my focus off a little bit. It was manageable, and I knew it would heal.

_She’s right. You’re in no condition to go anywhere._

“Hey, how open do you think Thanos is to a bargain?” Rocket huffed and crossed his arms. Six pairs of eyes stared down at him, and he raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m just asking. If you want to go the peaceful route with this.”

“What _kind_ of bargain.” 

“I mean, preferably, ‘hey here’s your wife back. Now please don’t destroy the universe.’”

“What happens if he says no?”

“Eh. We blow your head off?” 

I barked a laugh and Gamora snapped, “ _Rocket_! We don’t do that!”

“Why not? This is some fate of the universe type crap! We’ve gotta consider all our options,” Rocket glared at me. “I think it’s a pretty darn good idea if you ask me.” 

“He might be onto something,” Peter stood, ducking his head as he walked over. His posture was more relaxed, but I could still see the distrust in his eyes as he looked me up and down. “Gamora told me all about your husband...boyfriend...whatever. Don’t know why you’re with him, but I guess that’s none of my business. Don’t know why you had a kid with him, but that’s none of my business. I’m just gonna go ahead and say, _ew_.”

“Get on with it, Peter.” 

“Okay, whatever. You’ve gotta know where those stones are, right?”

“I do.”

“How many does he have?” 

“One. The Power Stone. He snatched it from Xandar about a month ago and fucked up the planet in the process. But I do know how he gets the rest, and where.”

The look on Peter’s face was almost comical. He glanced at Gamora for help, and she gave a slight smile. I decided that it would be best to spill - I couldn’t keep the knowledge I had a secret forever.

“You know how I said that everything was a long story? I think it’s time that I go ahead and tell it.”

So, I did. I recapped everything. The entire time Gamora was nodding, confirming my story - she’d heard it once before, I’d realized. All the while, the group - The Guardians of the Galaxy, as Peter had proudly announced, listened.  

“Thanos finds the Power Stone first. He decimates Xandar for it. He already has,” I grimaced. “The Space Stone is on an Asgardian refugee ship. The Soul Stone is on Vromir - he can’t get that without,” I paused, and my eyes drifted to Gamora. “He can’t get that one yet. Not without me.”

“Then we’re set. We’ll just keep you here. Forever.”

“You’re not keeping me from my kid,” I glared right back at Peter. “Not happening. Sorry.”

“Alright, Plan B. You mentioned a refugee ship full of Asgardians. We intercept that, burst in, hold the place up and get them to hand over the stone. Easy peasy.”

“You’ll be going up against the Black Order,” I said. “That’s a fight you won’t win.”

“We won’t know unless we try. I say we get a head start and find those refugee ships _before_ Thanos,” Peter shrugged. “Then we’re all set. For now.”

“If we do that, I need to be the one to negotiate. I know _exactly_ who's on that ship.”


	27. Ticking Clock

Gamora forced me to use crutches, stating that I wasn’t strong enough to walk on my own yet - which she was right about. She offered me a change of clothes, and I was happy to rid myself of my bloody, dirty tunic. Then I maneuvered myself in front of a mirror and took a good, long look.

I was gaunt, my dark skin pallid and clammy. Exhaustion was etched across all of my features, along with pain, both physical and mental. 

_ Suck it up, buttercup.  _

_ You’ve got a job to do. _

Intercepting the Asgardian ships weren’t difficult, especially since we knew who and what we were looking for. I recognized the ships immediately, mainly due to Thanos’ memories. My entire body was jittery, and I prayed we wouldn’t be too late. 

“Getting onboard is an entirely different story,” I murmured, and Peter glanced back at me.

“Yeah, well, I’m a master at sweet-talking my way through shit situations. Just watch,” Peter steered the ship in front of our target, stopping it just a few feet away. I saw him press a few buttons before he announced his - our - presence. 

“So, uh, there’s something on that ship that we really need, and it would be really, really cool if you let us have it. Okay?”

_ Jesus christ. _

Thor’s familiar voice echoed throughout the ship.

“Whatever it is, we don’t have it. Move along.”

“No, seriously. Our friend here,” Peter winked at me, “Says that you guys have something called the tesseract? The space stone? Ring any bells-”

“ _ Thor _ ,” I made my voice loud and firm. “This is an emergency. All of you are in danger. Loki, Bruce,  _ everyone. _ We need to board and talk to you immediately.”

Silence. I prayed my words would get through to him. He hadn’t announced himself, hadn’t said his name. 

The transmission fizzled, and Thor spoke.

“You have permission to board.”

* * *

 

The Asgardian’s parted like the red sea the second we entered the ship, all wary, most confused. Groot, Mantis and Rocket had opted to stay and watch the ship, while the rest of us walked - or, in my case, limped - towards the front of the ship. My stomach lurched the second I saw Thor’s hard gaze and Bruce’s soft expression. It was like getting slapped in the face. They didn’t remember me. There was no way they  _ could _ .

Loki was who I had my eyes on, now, as we walked up the steps towards the open cockpit. Without preamble, cutting Thor off mid sentence, I said, “Where’s the stone - the tesseract?”

Thor looked taken aback while Loki’s lower lip simply quivered, and he said in an even, calm voice, “I don’t have it.”

“Yes you do.”

“It was destroyed on Asgard-” Thor began.

“No. It wasn’t. _He_ has it. I _know_ he does - don’t ask me how I know, but I know. If you all want to live you have to give us that stone,” I was begging, hunched over, relying on crutches to even stay upright. I felt Gamora hold my bicep and Peter absently reach out to do the same with my other arm. 

“Are you threatening us?” Loki raised an eyebrow.  Bruce went from quiet and reserved to defensive, and I saw Gamora’s hair fly as she shook her head. 

“No. No, these are not threats.”

“Then what are they?” Thor demanded. “I will not repeat myself a second time. What you came for is _not_ here. The tesseract was _destroyed_. It is no more.”

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. _

“You need to sit down,” Bruce said softly. I was swaying on me feet, head ducked, fingers trembling. I probably looked like an insane person - in fact, I was sure the hundred or so Asgardian’s watching the exchange though I was insane. 

“Banner is right. Sit, and we will discuss,” Thor offered me his hand, and I took it. 

_ You don’t have time to discuss. _

Sitting did feel nice. It alleviated some of the pain, but I still kept my gaze on Loki. He seemed troubled, his posture more tense than before. Without thinking, I said, “Thanos is coming. He’s going to kill everyone on this ship, including you.”

I got a reaction out of Loki in the form of a blade - it stopped an inch from my throat, and Loki’s weight was against me. Weapons were drawn but no shots were fired - thank God - and Loki’s voice was a low growl that had me  _ smiling _ . Off to the side, Gamora, Peter, and Drax were forced to their knees by several guards. It all happened so fast, and I barely had time to react. The anger radiating from Loki was palpable, and I knew I'd struck a nerve.

“How do you know that name?”

“Rachel!” 

I glanced over at Gamora, Drax and Peter. They were outnumbered and overpowered. Loki's blade grazed my skin and I peered into his eyes.

_ You’re going to get them all fucking killed. _

“I’m here because one of Thanos’ lackey’s jabbed a knife in my gut and threw me into a trash pit. I’m with him, but I want to help you. _All_ of you,” I spat. “You’re hiding that stone. You lied to everyone. But you can save everyone. Please, Loki. Don’t do this. He’s coming after that stone-”

Loki snarled, and I watched, wide-eyed as he pulled the tesseract out of subspace. 

“Oh, you really are the worst, brother.” Thor grumbled. 

“ _Rachel_!” Peter’s second shout cut through the room. Loki, Thor, Bruce and I all met his gaze. There was a look of horror in his face that I’d never seen before.

_ It’s too late. _

“He’s here.”


	28. Endgame

_ This is what hell feels like. _

“He won’t blow the ship to smithereens if he knows I’m here,” I breathed. “Loki, give us the tesseract-”

The ship rattled. The lights fizzled and popped, only to replaced with red. I could see the massive Q ship through the glass, dwarfing us with ease. Loki released me, leaving me curled up on the steps. Peter, Drax and Gamora gathered their weapons while Thor readied himself. 

“Where are the evacuation pods?” Peter asked.

“This is an evacuation pod,” Thor said gruffly. “This is all we have.”

“Ah,  _ shit. _ ”

We had no plan. Loki was here, carrying the tesseract in his arms. 

_ We can’t fight. I can’t fight. I can’t. _

“Here,” Loki handed the tesseract to Gamora. There was reluctance in his eyes, though not in his actions. I saw her take it as if it were a newborn. “I will not abandon my people.”

The ship shook again, followed by screams, and by this time, Peter had made it halfway towards the exit. He glanced over his shoulder and shouted for his team - and me.

I shook my head. 

“Take the tesseract and go,” I said to Gamora. “Your ship is small. They won’t notice you guys.”

“We’re not leaving you-”

“Gamora, this is my decision. I told you this is what I needed to do. Please. Don’t die for me.”

The ship shook and the emergency lights flared bright. Gamora embraced me, and I savored it, squeezing my eyes shut before Drax had to pull her away. I saw a flash of blue as she bounded across the room, tesseract in hand. 

Then they were gone.

I stood, with the help of Loki. I was watching the door, and I heard screams. Pained screams. 

“Everyone get down,” Thor commanded. The refugees obeyed, cowering, pressing themselves against the wall and huddling together. 

Loki squeezed my wrist. It was not a comforting squeeze. The second the massive double doors burst open and Thanos, clad in his armor, entered, the second Loki had me pinned against him with a knife to my throat once more. 

Thanos froze. I saw Proxima, Cull, and Corvus enter and stop as well, followed by Maw.

My lips curled back over my teeth, and I snarled as Maw and I met each other’s gazes. The look on his face the moment he saw me alive was something I’d remember forever. He immediately stuck to the shadows, slinking back, head ducked a bit. 

“If you take a step forward, I will slit her throat,” Loki said evenly. “Now turn and go back from where you came.”

“She is one life. Kill her,” Thanos shrugged. “But the rest of your people will suffer for it.”

Proxima raised her spear and Corvus raised his. The crowd whimpered as Cull stepped towards the them, his massive axe a perfect cleaving machine. One swipe and ten heads would roll. 

Loki’s knife dug into my skin and I whimpered. Thanos must have heard the sound, because his shoulders tensed and he started forward, but stopped.

“Please,” Thor said, “We are nothing but refugees. There is nothing here of importance to you.”

“Oh, there is. What I seek is above all else,” Thanos dared a step forward, and Loki’s hold tightened, but he did not slit my throat. It was almost as if he couldn’t. Like some invisible grip was keeping him from moving, no matter how hard he fought against it.

_ Maw. _

Thanos extended a hand. “Come to me, wife.”

I slipped away from Loki. He was immobilized, and I was able to peel away from him and stumble towards Thanos. I left my crutches lying on the floor and practically fell into his arms, going limp as he held me, flush, against his cool, armored chest. 

He raised a hand, the gauntlet shimmering and glowing. I could see the power stone sitting in its rightful place. 

Before Thanos could speak, I cupped his face between my hands. The moment was tender, and a softness returned to his cold visage. For a moment I forgot everything around us as I pulled him down, as if I were going to kiss him.

I did. I gave him a short peck on the mouth before murmuring as softly as possible, “ _ Maw did this _ .”

Thanos did not let up. Very briefly his eyes flickered to the floor, and the only thing I could do was pray that he believed me.

_ Pray. That’s all you can do now. _

Thanos sighed. 

“Very well.”

Then Thanos turned and delivered an shattering blast from his gauntlet that, had it not been for Maw’s impeccable reflexes and abilities, would have blown anyone to smithereens. He hit the wall, hard, and I saw him crawl towards the escape hatch.

_ “Bruce, now!” _

The bellow of the Hulk echoed throughout the entire ship. The massive green humanoid came flying at Thanos ferocious speed, and Thanos only had time to fling me away. I slid across the floor, hard and fast, and by the time my back hit the wall I was unconscious. 

* * *

_ Death. _

_ Decay.  _

_ Blood. _

_ Destruction. _

Thanos was sitting by my bedside when I opened my eyes. For a long moment I stared at his muscular back before sitting up, wincing. I felt my wound - the bandages were fresh. Everything was fresh, from my clothes to the sheets. 

“Thanos?”

“Thane is in a coma, courtesy of Maw. He is currently under the care of our medics.”

_ No. _

_ No, no, no. _

“Maw lied,” I said aloud. “He told me Thane would be okay. He  _ promised _ me. He said he wouldn’t lay a finger on Thane.”

Thanos was silent. I felt as if I’d been sucker punched a million times in the gut. It hurt. Everything hurt, and crying seemed like my only option. So I did. 

I doubled over and wept. Deep, heaving sobs reverberated throughout my frame, and I felt Thanos’ big palm against my back. 

_ Of course Maw lied.  _

It was one, final kick to the chest. I tried to stand, but I couldn’t find my footing.

“I need to see him.”

“You  _ need  _ to rest,” Thanos eased me back onto the bed. “You are in _no_ state to be walking around. Thane is in good hands-”

“You’ve seen him. I haven’t. I have to see him - I have to see my son-”

“Rachel,” Thanos said firmly. “ _ Stop _ .”

I clamped my mouth shut and hung my head. Thanos’ tone was almost that of a parent chastising their child. I couldn’t really blame him - I was probably delirious. Blood loss, trauma, exhaustion, and a plethora of other emotions was keeping me from thinking in any sort of linear fashion.

I didn’t _ feel _ crazy. In fact, I felt fine. Thanos’ expression, however, was the only thing convincing me that I wasn’t. 

“You need to rest,” Thanos reiterated. His palm moved from my back to my shoulder. He was being more gentle with me than normal, I realized, as if I could break on contact. His eyes were soft, but his jaw was clenched. “Now isn’t the time for you to be stubborn with me-”

“What happened to Thor and Loki? The Asgardian’s? Where is Maw?”

Thanos didn’t reply. 

“Thanos. Where are they? What happened?”

_ You know what happened. You’ve seen it before. _

“The past repeated itself. Maw slipped away during the confusion. As did the Asgardian _god_ ,” Thanos tilted his head, and the softness in his eyes was gone. “I choked that insufferable Loki to death, yet he did not produce the space stone.”

I said nothing. I tried not to look guilty, tried not to give anything away, but it was no use. I was terrible at lying to Thanos due to the fact that I simply, well, never had.

“Gamora saved my life,” I murmured. “She and the Guardians are the reason I’m still alive. Maw left me to die in that pit, and I would have, had it not been for them.”

“You were indebted to her,” Thanos hummed. “Is that why you told her the location of the stone?”

“I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was that. Maybe I did it because my heart can’t do this anymore, Thanos. I know what’s coming. I know what you’re going to have to do. We’ve both been pushing it away, avoiding it-”

“The soul stone.”

I peered up at him. He sighed, eyes drifting to the floor. 

“I do not wish to discuss this. Not when you are half-dead and delirious,” Thanos said sternly. I opened my mouth to reply, but he cut me off. “Rest. Please.”

“Thanos-”

“ _ Rest _ .”

So, I rested. I rested, and ate, and tried my best to regain what strength I’d lost. The entire time, Thanos and I kept our interactions brief. It was almost as if we weren’t married. Almost. 

A wedge had been pushed between us, one that we both were desperately trying to ignore. My primary focus was on Thane, and I could see that Thanos felt the same way. 

_ Will that matter when he does what he “has” to do? _

I saw Thane for the first time, four days after my rescue. His purple skin was a shade lighter, pale, devoid of any life. Had it not been for the slow rise and fall of his chest, I would have believed him to be dead. I almost had, at first, and I’d instinctively clutched Thanos’ muscular forearm out of shock and despair.

Then came the rage. I felt it bubbling within me, simmering, like a volcano ready to explode. Maw’s face flashed through my mind and it was if I’d seen red. 

_ He has to die. _

_ He has to. _

In that very second, that became my endgame.


	29. Intermission

“You are holding your weapon incorrectly,” Proxima called from across the room. I nearly dropped the dull sparring blade, quickly acting as if I hadn’t been mockingly practicing my sword thrusts like I’d seen Thane do during his training. I heard Proxima coo, “There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Let me show you.”

“I’m...fine.”

Proxima huffed. “ _Fine_. You never were a warrior, anyway,” she approached with that confident, almost seductive swagger that was so unique to her. She stopped before me, arms crossed over her chest. “Six years we have known each other, and not once have you told me how you came to capture my father's attention.”

“It kind of just...happened. It’s a weird story. We had a dog, we lived on a farm...he murdered some people. Shit like that.”

“You _had_ to have been interesting. For a human.”

“Not really.”

“Oh?” Proxima raised an eyebrows, waiting for me to continue.

“I was a nobody. Nothing. I was some depressed girl living alone, contemplating suicide sometimes. Hating myself. Hating everything about myself, the way I looked, my voice, the way I acted…”

“And then my father appeared and _saved_ you-”

“No. He didn’t save me because I’m still not okay on the inside. I’m better than I was before, but still...not okay,” I sighed. “The parts that healed? That was all me. I did that.”

_ “ Interesting .” _

I smirked. “What did you come here for, Proxima?”

“As Thane’s personal combat trainer, I am responsible for how prepared and equipped he is for battle. He was unable to hold his own against Maw because my training was inadequate-”

“No. It wasn’t your fault, Proxima. It wasn’t.”

“ _ Regardless _ ,” Proxima let out a shuddering sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. “I still feel...somewhat responsible and would like to offer my condolences and an apology. I...cannot conceive and ever have a child of my own. Thane is the closest thing Corvus and I will ever have. He is family, just as you are. Just as Maw _was_ \- which brings me to my next point.”

“You found him?”

Proxima’s smile was vicious. “He is on Knowhere, holed up like a coward.”

I clenched the handle of sparring sword, grinding my jaw as I turned away from Proxima. The idea had been brewing in my head for an entire day. 

“Does Thanos know?”

Proxima, to my amazement, shook her head. “You are Thanos’ mate, therefore an extension of him. I felt it appropriate that you should be the first to know, and the one to deliver the news however _you_ wish.”

_ Sly girl. _

“Thank you, Proxima.”

She was stiff when I hugged her, not used to the gesture. After a pregnant pause, her arms came up to wrap around my - awkwardly, but it was _something_. 

It was a start.

* * *

 

“We need to talk.”

Thanos’ words jolted me out of my half-sleep haze. The chair I sat in creaked, and I shot a look at Thane’s comatose body, before diverting my gaze to the doorway. Thanos’ hulking form stood, a silhouette in the dim light. 

I stood, joining Thanos in the empty hallway. I leaned against the wall, watching him pace, my eyes following his every move until I mustered up the courage to say, “The medics said he’s stable and in good condition. He might wake up soon.”

“I should have discussed the soul stone with you long ago, but I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Myself. You know what I am capable of. You’ve seen it,” Thanos stopped. “My own strength never frightened me before. It does now. I could snap your neck like a twig-”

“Hey,” I placed an arm on Thanos’ bicep, and he immediately relaxed. It felt good to touch him again - good to  _ feel  _ him again, despite the thoughts in the back of my mind. “Your strength is...a strength. You shouldn’t be scared of it.”

“One day, you _will_ be afraid of me.”

“I was afraid of you the minute we first met. Then we started fucking. You spilled everything out to me, and I saw your memories,” I shuddered. “I won’t ever fear you. I can’t. I love you too much.”

He kissed the top of my head, and I wrapped my arms around his broad torso. No tears fell this time, and instead I closed my eyes, commiting the feeling of Thanos’ warmth to my memory. 

“Come to bed,” Thanos murmured. “The more sleep you can get, the better.”

I nodded. I said nothing about Proxima’s news. Nothing about Maw. Part of me couldn’t bring myself to do it, to speak his name, while the other was hatching a plan. 

_ It wasn’t a good one. _

Thanos’ eyes lingered on my bandage the moment I stripped and crawled into bed - he looked as if he were about to comment, but held his tongue. 

“What is it?” I prodded.

“Nothing.”

“No, no,” I crawled across the sheets, placing my palm against his bare chest. My fingers lightly danced across the scars marring his skin, before sliding up to the markings on his face. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I was a fool to trust Maw-”

“You weren’t a fool. He tricked all of us. I trusted him, too,” I said firmly. “He said...he did it because he was loyal to you. He wanted to ‘save’ you by getting rid of me.”

Thanos ducked his head. I placed two fingers beneath his chin and lifted it back up so he could meet my gaze. “As if the strongest being in the galaxy needs to be  _ saved _ .”

Thanos snorted. His big hand slid beneath my nightgown, stroking my upper thigh. 

“You  _ flatter _ me,  _ wife _ .”

His voice sent shivers down my spine. I knew that tone - a low growl, laced with desire. I couldn’t help but chuckle, gnawing on my lower lip and glancing down at the sizable bulge between his legs. 

“Let me show you how much I missed you,” Thanos murmured, pressing a kiss against my throat. “Please.”

My panties were halfway down my thigh when Thanos claimed my lips with his own, his movements desperate and heavy. It was as if he feared losing me. Thickly corded muscles stretched taut as he hooked my knees over his shoulders, burying his face between my thighs. He suckled on my clit like a man starved, his big hands immediately shooting up to fondle my heaving breasts. I couldn’t understand him, but he was murmuring words against my skin. 

I grit my teeth, watching as Thanos lifted his head and peered into my eyes. His lips and chin were glistening with wetness -  _ my _ wetness - and I couldn’t help but moan. 

“I will try to be gentle,” Thanos said softly, resting his palm against my injured torso. “If anything hurts...tell me.”

“It won’t. Don’t worry about it - I need you,” I practically chanted the words, lips parted, my skin flushed and warm. I didn’t give a shit whether or not he tore through my stitches and fucked me in a puddle of my own blood. I couldn’t care. Not anymore. “I need you.”

A growl worked its way from the depths of Thanos’ chest, but he restrained himself, gaze hard. In that moment he looked more like an animal than a man. 

“Then you will certainly have me, _ wife _ .”


	30. Vengeance

I made sure Thanos was asleep, hard, before I slipped from the bed and began dressing my sore body. He stirred only once, mumbling something in his slumber - which I was entirely used to - before falling still once more. 

I grabbed my bag and snuck from the room, heading first towards the armory. Once inside, I began rummaging through various guns, swords, and spears before picking out a heavy rifle - perfect for taking long distance shots - and slinging it across my back. I had my dagger as well - the one Thanos had gifted me. 

Thane was next. I entered his room silently. I kissed his forehead and held his small hand, shaking like a leaf the entire time. 

_ You can do this. _

_ You can do it. _

I slipped into one of the evac pods, placing my bag and weapon in the corner before plotting a course to Knowhere. 

_ You should have written a note. Just in case you don’t make it back. Just in case you die trying- _

I forced myself to stop. I closed my tired eyes and massaged my temples, basking in the silence of the small pod. Once Sanctuary was a little spec in the distance, I took to analyzing the stars, peering through the pod window at each asteroid, each planet, with wide, child-like eyes. 

I didn’t know how much time had passed. I’d fallen back asleep, sometime, only waking when the pod controls beeped, signalling my imminent arrival to Knowhere. The massive severed head was the size of a planet, and I immediately felt nervous. I knew the place - I’d seen it in Thanos’ memories. He knew the place well, and I hoped that knowledge would aid me somehow. 

I docked the escape pod near the mining facility, hiding it in a little cave on the side of the mountainous terrain. I grabbed my bag, along with my gun, before exiting the ship and stopping at the ledge overlooking the sprawling marketplace. 

I adjusted my hood, concealing as much of myself as possible before crouching and shimmying a bit closer to the edge. I was concealed by the shadows, and not a soul had noticed me - the small pod certainly wasn’t enough to warrant much attention, luckily. The rifle scope amplified my sight and I could see each individual creature, each alien as they traversed the streets below. I had a clear shot at anything, even from so far away and so high up. 

Maw could easily blend in, but I had a feeling I’d be able to spot him. I knew how he walked. How he talked. His gestures. The more I thought about how well I knew him, the more his betrayal hurt, even more so than the still-healing wound at my side. I don’t know how long I crouched, eventually opting to lay on my stomach and search the crowds of aliens, before I spotted him. 

My finger hovered over the trigger, and I followed him as he pushed his way down the street. A sour look adorned his face, which wasn’t unusual, but I could see him scanning the area cautiously. I didn’t have a clear shot, and he kept disappearing and reappearing in my line of sight. 

Missing the shot would be bad. I saw an alien and what I assumed to be her children. I saw what looked to be hired alien thugs bullying their way through the crowds. I saw a man off to the side begging for money, food, anything. 

In brief moment of hesitation, I caught a glance at Maw disappearing into one of the buildings. 

_ This is much more difficult than you imagined. _

_ Fuck. _

If I hit a bystander, it would be over. I couldn’t do that to myself. 

I slung the rifle over my shoulder and began to head towards the marketplace, taking a path off to the side until I was integrated with the bustling crowd. My rifle and bag and overall shady appearance got me a few glances, but not much else. There were shady figures everywhere, I realized. It was a perfect place to hide out and gather one’s bearings. Both Maw and I fit in perfectly. Almost too perfectly. 

I clutched the straps to my rifle, keeping my head down as I made my way towards the building - a small shop - where I’d seen Maw enter. The door was wide open, and I stepped inside, wrinkling my nose at the smell before I realized what exactly it was.

There were parts everywhere. Mechanical parts, organic parts. Arms on display in cases, along with various other body parts. Legs. Skulls. Hands and feet from creatures all over the galaxy. I felt as if I’d walked into an intergalactic body museum, and  _ not _ the educational kind.

Only three people were in the shop, Maw being one of them. He had his back to me, and I knew I had a very small window to do what I had to do.

_ He’s right here. Kill him.  _

I deftly flicked the safety off my rifle, raised it, and took aim. My finger was halfway to the trigger before I saw the glint of another gun out of the corner of my eye. 

The shopkeeper had pulled his weapon as well, and it was aimed straight at my head. Instinct took over and I diverted the rifle from the back of Maw’s head towards the alien shopkeeper, hearing him scream something in an unknown language. We both fired, though his bullet flew wide and shattered a display case. My buckshot caught him square in the neck and he toppled. 

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. _

I turned back to Maw, but he waved a hand and sent me tumbling into a display case. The glass shattered and I rolled, landing hard on my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that I hadn’t ripped the stitches on my stomach. 

_ Nope. No blood. It just hurts. _

_ Are you starting to regret coming here? _

“When we first met, I took you for a fool. A shame to see that after all these years, I was right,” Maw raised a brow, peering down at me. 

I lunged for my gun, but it was tugged away by an invisible hand. My fingers curled around air and I snarled, slapping a palm against the floor. 

“You came here to kill yourself, didn’t you. You  _ want  _ to die. You crave death like one would crave...air,” Maw yanked me upright without even touching me. I staggered forward. “Why else would you come here, knowing that you cannot win?”

I didn’t answer because I couldn’t. 

“You are weak. Your mind is weak. There is no shame in admitting it,” Maw continued. He was close enough to touch me, and he did. His rough fingers, adorned with rings, grazed my forehead, and he sucked in a breath. “I can feel it. The same self-doubt and hatred I felt when I first met you.”

“My mind isn’t weak because I’m still here. Even after everything.”

Maw didn’t spot the knife in time, luckily - I drove it deep into his gut, watching his body convulse as he grunted in pain. I didn’t have the time or the thought to even grab it, I just  _ ran,  _ emerging into the crowded street with the force of a wrecking ball. Ignoring the insults and shouts, I began shouldering my way through the crowd.

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

_ Now it’s a bad idea. _

I heard Maw’s roar, even from outside. The front part of the dingy little shop erupted, torn away by an unseen hand. Light fizzled and exploded, and I was knocked into the dirt by the ferocity of the moving crowd. 

The fall saved my life. The entire street ahead was demolished by a single telekinetic blast from Maw. Smoke filled my nostrils, and I felt embers lick at my skin. 

What was left of the crowd had disappeared. Some had run, others were now corpses. Inhaling a big nose-full of dirt and dust, I fumbled with the handgun at my hip, drawing it and raising it in Maw’s direction. 

He’d stumbled out into the street, doubled over, clutching the blade in his stomach with one hand, trying to stem the flow of blood with the other. 

I held the gun steady and didn’t fire. When Maw glanced up, there was a rage on his face I’d never seen before.

I stopped. Partially because of his murderous expression, and partially because I saw it.

A piece of debris - a piece of rebar with a jagged end -  extended outward from the rubble, like a sword being held by a capable warrior. I tried not to look at it, and luckily, Maw seemed to injured, to distracted to notice anything. He stood upright, and I could tell that he was trying to shrug off his wound. A plan hatched in my mind and I ducked my head, glad that Maw seemed unaware.

“You can’t win,” Maw grunted, and I continued my approach, just waiting for him to disarm me. He tilted his head to the side and growled, “Such a _stupid_ , foolish girl.”

I was three feet away when he sent the handgun flying with a flick of his wrist. Surprise lit his face when I lunged, followed by a snarl, and then a yelp as the jagged end of the rebar burst through his chest from behind.

Maw went to speak, but instead of words flowing past his lips, it was blood, along with a disgusting gurgle as his eyes widened. 

He was dying.

I fell onto my rear, transfixed as Maw struggled to breathe, impaled on the rebar like some sort of alien shishkebab. It was gross, disturbing, and crude. I felt no pleasure. Only disgust.

The long, windy street had been decimated. I’d gotten people killed, regardless. 

“You’re still a fool.”

I glanced up. Maw’s head was ducked and he’d stopped struggling. He sounded as if he had a mouth filled with cotton, but I could still make out the words. 

I don’t know how long I sat, peering up at the stars. Maw’s corpse was cold when I walked over to retrieve the blade Thanos had given me from Maw’s stomach, gripping it’s hilt until my knuckles turned white. I began methodically searching until I found the handgun, and then the rifle, somewhat disappointed that I hadn’t been able to really use either. Of all things, Thanos’ gift, a piece of him, was covered in blood. 

I stopped and covered my eyes, blinded by the lights from the Q ship. The massive thing whirred overhead, and I looked away as a shape descended, and then landed in front of me.

Thanos said nothing. He peered over my shoulder at Maw, and then back at me. I couldn’t bring myself to explain anything. Instead I boarded the ship, swaying on my feet as the Q ship departed from Knowhere. 


	31. Soul

Thane awoke two days later. He was as cheerful and boisterous as ever. I held my son in my arms for what felt like hours and cried. Thanos watched from the doorway, arms crossed, a terribly sad, melancholy look on his face. Like he knew something I didn’t.

“I want to go see Corvus and Proxima!” Thane exclaimed. “Will I be able to continue my training soon-”

“We’re going to take a break with that for a bit. Just...for a bit. No more fighting,” I stroked his hair, trying my hardest not to look in Thanos’ direction. “Just for a while.”

“Father?”

I winced as Thanos’ deep voice boomed, “Your mother is right.”

“Okay,” Thane seemed disappointed, but didn’t press the issue further. “Can...I still see Corvus and Proxima-”

“We’re right here.”

Thane’s face lit up with joy the moment Corvus and Proxima entered the room, Cull towering behind them. I’d never forget that face. Never. It would be seared into my mind until the day I died.

I allowed Corvus, Proxima and Cull to swoon over Thane. Taking that moment to slip away, trying to avoid Thanos. It didn’t work. He had my arm the moment I entered the hallway, holding my bicep with one firm hand.

“There is...nothing to talk about,” I started first, before Thanos could. “It’s over. It’s done - he’s done. That’s all I had to do. That was my mission.”

“Your fierceness is what attracted me to you all those years ago. It never disappeared. But I never thought you capable of...killing.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Part of me isn’t. Part of me is. Part of me wishes to take you against this wall, right now.”

“Something like that would be unsavory in the presence of company," I said softly.

“It has never stopped me in the past.”

I watched Thane enthusiastically explain to Corvus, Proxima and Cull which fighting techniques he planned on learning next. I leaned against Thanos’ large frame.

“I love you. I love Thane,” Thanos suddenly said, and there was something in his voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. Regret. “So I’m sending the two of you away.”

I froze. Thane’s laugher, Corvus and Proxima’s words, were muffled and seemed miles away. There was only Thanos.

“What?”

“I’m sending the two of you back to Earth.”

I clutched his hand. “Why? Earth isn’t my home anymore. This... _you_ are-”

“Your _home_ is dangerous. He cannot control his destiny. Eventually he will harm you,” Thanos said shakily. “I cannot have you and Thane around while I work on achieving my goals.”

“Your... _goals_ …”

My heart hammered in my chest. I stared up at him as if he were a stranger. Like I didn’t know who he was, or what he was. In a way, I didn’t.

“How...long?”

“Until the task is complete, and the universe is balanced, as it was always meant to be,” Thanos said. “This is my destiny, not yours. Not Thane’s.”

“You’re doing this so you...so you don’t have to,” I struggled to find the right words. “The soul stone. You’re doing this because of this soul stone.”

Thanos didn’t answer.

“ _Thanos_.”

No reply. The rage bubbled forth and for the first time in six years, I screamed at him, I hit him. I pounded on his chest and cursed him - the blows dealt no damage, and after I tired myself Thanos gingerly picked me up and carried me away from the stunned stares and horrified expressions.

_He never loved you._

_He never did._

_Never._

_Never._

* * *

“I don’t hate you. But you’re making it really, really hard for me to love you.”

Thanos glanced over at me. I was sitting on the bed - our bed, the one we’d shared for almost seven years. My head was ducked and my breathing was labored. I’d packed up some things in silence. The only thing left was the dagger Thanos had gifted me - I was currently toying with it, looking at my reflection in the freshly cleaned and polished blade.

“You know why I’m doing this.”

“No, I don’t.”

I heard Thanos’ heavy footsteps. He stopped in front of me, kneeling so he could look at me face to face. I didn’t lift my head. I refused. He would have to do it for me.

“Sulking like this is unbecoming of you.”

My head shot up. I bared my teeth and gripped the handle of my dagger so hard that my arm began to ache. It felt like a punch to the gut, his words. There was no malice in his tone, just fact. As if he were commenting on the weather.

“You are strong,” Thanos continued. “Resilient. You’re mistaken if you think this is me...rejecting you. Abandoning you because I have fallen out of love. No. I want you _safe_.” 

“Safe from what?” 

“From _me_.”

“You’re so full of _shit_. You are,” I wiped away a stray tear and grit my teeth. “Thane _loves_ you. He loves his father. He loves Proxima and Corvus and Cull. You’re taking his _family_ away from him-”

“He will survive, just as you will. And we will see each other again, once the universe has been balanced. Once it has been _saved_ ,” Thanos leaned in closer. One big finger came up to stroke my face, and I instinctively melted into his touch.

“You can’t save it without the soul stone.” 

“I will find a way. I always find a way.”


	32. Transcend

_He’s sending you away because he knows. He knows deep down that his goal of balancing the universe is more important.  He knows deep down that if you or Thane are around he’ll use you._

_And he knows that if you’re around, you’ll get yourself into trouble._

My wound was healing up pretty nicely. It was still tender to the touch, and moving was uncomfortable, but soon it would leave behind a jagged scar. I didn’t look at it much. Looking at it made me think of Maw, something I never wanted to do. Ever.

I didn’t want Thane to think of Maw either. So when my son asked where he was, I told him the truth.

“Maw is dead. He was a traitor - he nearly took you from me. But I killed him.”

_His mother. The killer._

You scoffed at the thought and kissed the top of Thane’s head. He still had no idea.

Thanos wanted me fully healed and strong before you left. I didn’t know when that would be, so I milked it. Thane began training with Proxima and Corvus once more. I said nothing of the sudden change that would soon come, and instead subconsciously told myself that I would leave that to Thanos. This was his decision. His choice. So he had to be the one to inform Thane, not me.

“Let me see your wound,” Thanos said one night. I gingerly lifted my nightshirt, wincing when his fingers prodded at the bandaged gash. He hummed, pulling away and analyzing my tired face. “You haven’t been sleeping.”

“Yeah, no shit. I’m a bit stressed out. Actually, a lot stressed out. _Uber_ stressed out. And it’s kind of your fault.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“I mean, I don’t know. Maybe. This whole thing doesn’t seem to be bothering you. I’m starting to think it’s because you’ve already found a replacement-”

Thanos’ glare was monstrous, coupled with an irateness I rarely saw. He looked as if I’d deeply insulted him, and a small part of me wanted to claim victory - I’d hit him, I’d gotten him to realize how stupid he was being. The rest of me, however, just felt bad.

Just... _bad_. It was the first time I’d ever accused him of having a mistress in our seven years together.

“I...could never replace you. Never. There is a piece of my heart that belongs strictly to you, and that will never change,” Thanos’s face fell and he glanced at the floor. “That is why I’m sending you away.”

“You can’t give up your mission. Not even for me. Not even for Thane.”

_Tell me how that’s love._

I didn’t say those words. Instead I ducked my head and pressed a tender kiss against Thanos’ mouth, gently tracing the scars that ran from his brow, to the corners of his mouth.

Very softly I murmured, “Make love to me. Please.”

_Make it go away. Make the pain go away, just for this second._

He did. I couldn’t think, I could only feel.

* * *

“I’m heading out first thing tomorrow,” I said. “I...want you and Thane to have some time together. Before we go,” I peered up at Thanos, watching as he slipped his shirt over his muscular torso. He reached out to touch my face, but I turned away. No words were spoken, and I brushed past him and headed towards Thane’s room. My son was up, sitting on his bed with a melancholy look on his face.

“Why is Father sending us away?”

I leaned against the doorframe, wiping my eyes. I let out a deep sigh, shaking my head and joining Thane on the edge of his bed. I hugged him close and kissed the dark curls atop his head.

“He’s...protecting us.”

“From what?”

My jaw clenched. I turned away for a second, trying to shield my eyes from Thane. I didn’t want him to see me cry. He couldn’t see me cry - I had to be strong. _Stronger_.

“I...he’s protecting us from bad people. Like Maw. He doesn’t want us getting hurt anymore than we already have. We’ll see him again, I promise. It just might be a while.”

“Will...Proxima and Corvus get to visit? And Cull?”

When I looked up, I could see Thanos in the doorway. The bed creaked as Thane leaped from his seat, standing up tall to face his father. Seeing them face to face, I realized just how much Thane had _grown_. While Thanos still towered over the child with ease, I could already tell that Thane would reach - and possibly surpass - his height in the future.

_He won’t be easy to hide on Earth. People will know that he’s...different._

I wiped my eyes once more and watched as Thane stared up at Thanos. The huge alien held an unwavering gaze, and I saw his eyes flicker towards me for a brief moment.

“I want you to continue your training after you leave. Practice every day - remember what you were taught,” Thanos knelt, his face softening as he spoke with his son. Thane’s head bobbed up and down as he nodded. “The stronger you become, the better. Understood?”

“Yes,” Thane said softly.

“Good. I love you. There is no greater joy in my life than you. Remember that.”

“I love you to.”

Thanos rose, and Thane glanced back at me. I gave a small smile, my stomach clenching when I realized that this was it. It was time. As Thanos approached, I waved a hand and said, “Go say goodbye to Proxima and Corvus and Cull. Give them all hugs.”

Thane’s face lit up, and he immediately bounded from the room.

Thanos stayed.

I bowed my head and wept. Thanos watched, before slowly coming to kneel in front of me. It seemed like hours before I mustered the strength to look up. 

“When you get to Earth, it is in your best interest to contact Tony Stark and ask for his assistance.”

“Tony doesn’t even know me...not anymore. This isn’t that timeline, remember?”

“I remember. The last thing I want is for you and Thane to end up on the streets. Stark has a feeble, bendable heart - it is his greatest weakness, but _your_ greatest asset. Use it.”

“Why are you doing this, Thanos?” 

“Because you and Thane are unsafe. You are unsafe on this ship, and unsafe around me,” Thanos said coolly.

“Do you not love me enough to stop this? To stop searching for these stones, to stop trying to balance everything?” 

No answer.

“ _Thanos_.”

“I...don’t.”

“It’s me or those stones. And you’re choosing the stones?”

I knew the answer, and he knew it to. He didn’t even have to reply. I felt as if someone had reached down my throat and into my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it popped.

“That’s all I needed to know.”

“I love you.”

It was feeble, but I knew he wasn’t lying. I should have felt angrier, more hurt than I did.

I was _numb_.


	33. Strange Things

Thanos gave me two envelopes. One for me, and another for Thane. 

“Open yours when you’re ready. Have Thane open his when you think he’s...old enough.”

I said nothing to this. I held the envelopes, staring at them, at Thanos’ intricate handwriting. I didn’t flinch away when Thanos’ hand rose and cupped the side of my face, or when he leaned down to press his mouth against mine in a lingering kiss. It was the last kiss he gave me before we left, and even a day into our journey, I could still…. _ feel _ it. 

_ Yeah. That’s it. _

Thane was asleep, nestled on a small cot in the corner. I sat in the cockpit, legs crossed, staring at the dashboard in front of me - the ship was on autopilot, with its course set straight to Earth. The thing wasn’t too small, but it wasn’t too big, either. We’d land somewhere in the woods, so we wouldn’t make a scene, and then head towards the nearest town. From there...

I’d made plans. I wasn’t worried about any of that.

Thane shifted, and when I glanced over, his eyes were open. Big, sad orbs stared back at me, and in a soft voice, he murmured, “I want to go back home.”

“We can’t, sweetie. I’m sorry.”

“Does Father not...love us anymore?” 

My gut clenched. I coughed into my hand and turned back to the dashboard, staring out the wide window of the ship. “He loves us still. I know he does. It’s...Thane, you’re young.  T here’s so much that you don’t know, so much that you need to learn. And you will. I promise. I know it’s scary now, but in time, you’ll understand. And you’ll be able to figure out for yourself how you feel.”

When I turned back around, Thane was sitting up, head ducked. He hadn’t replied, and softly, I gestured to the bag by his side and said, “Why don’t you catch up on some reading? I packed your books.”

“Are we almost to Earth?” 

“Another day. It’ll go by fast - I promise...”

My words tinkered off. I narrowed my eyes, peering down at the dashboard. One of the screens, which should have been blank, showed signs of...something approaching. Another ship? I leaned in closer, and before I could say anything, Thane was at my side. 

“What is it?”

I looked up and slammed my hand on the dashboard, bringing the ship to a halt. The intercom flickered, indicating an incoming transmission, and I quickly accepted the call, a smile flickering across my face.

_ “Long time no see. What brings you here, traversing the great open outdoors?” _

I stared at the Milano. I could make out Peter, in the pilots seat, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Mantis, and Groot peppered in their seats around him. The Milano was a tad larger than our own ship, but still imposing. 

“Just cruising.”

_ “Bullshit, _ ” Peter snapped jokingly.

“Could you watch the language? My son is with me,” I raised my eyebrows. Thane squeezed my arm, eyes transfixed on the ship before him. “We’re headed to Earth. My home.”

“Oh, well,” Peter seemed surprised. “Do you think you could spare, like, an hour because….” he paused, and I saw him glance up at Gamora, “someone wants to talk with you.” 

“That sound wonderful.”

* * *

Thane and I hopped from one ship to the next. I kept my son close - not because I was paranoid, or afraid, but because I knew he’d be curious and wander off. Or touch something dangerous that didn’t belong to him.

_ God knows how many bombs Rocket has stashed around this place. _

Thane hid behind me as we were both assaulted by Drax’s harsh glare - he was the only one who still didn’t trust or particularly like me. I didn’t really care about trying to change his mind. Not anymore. I quickly tore my eyes away as Gamora approached, reaching out. We embraced, and when we pulled away, she knelt so she could address Thane. 

“I’m Gamora - a friend of your mother. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Thane looked up at me, and I nodded. Thane shook her hand, still a bit cautious, but more relaxed than before. When Gamora stood and turned back to me, I said, “It’s….a long story. Why we’re out here. I can’t...I don’t want to explain it all right now.” 

“Did you run?”

“No. This wasn’t our choice,” I said softly. “That’s all I’ll say.”

Gamora nodded in understanding. She said softly, “I needed to talk to you because-”

“We still have that stone of yours,” Rocket interrupted. He was in the corner, cleaning his blaster. “And we don’t know what to do with it.”

“We’re not the best at safekeeping,” Peter added. “Trust me. I’ve lost maybe six pairs of headphones in the past, like, month.”

“You know more about Earth than any of us here. There has to be somewhere...someone that can keep it safe,” Gamora rummaged through her pocket, and pulled out a necklace with a large, clear locket attacked. I could see the space stone, pulsing every so slightly.”

“We’d bring it to the Nova Corps but you know...your husband did them in pretty good,” Peter shrugged. “Besides, I think you’re the last person Thanos would think would have one of his stones.”

I took the necklace, holding it up and staring at the blue stone. The object of Thanos’ affection. One of the things he’d chosen over me.

Yet, I said, “I’ll take it. I know some people who can take care of it.”

“Thank you,” Gamora said. She glanced down, and I followed her gaze. Thane’s attention was now on the teenage Groot, who no longer seemed interested in the handheld game he always seemed to be playing, but in the curious half-Titan child staring at him. 

“We should go,” I said. “I know you have a galaxy to guard and everything. If you need me…”

“We’ll find you,” Gamora said. She reached out and grasped my wrist. She said, “Thank you. For everything. You helped me find these people - my family. I hope you and your son stay safe.”

“You saved me when you didn’t have to. Seriously. I owe you more,” I chuckled. “The galaxy owes you one, too.”

As we left, I palmed the necklace around my neck. The space stone hummed against my skin, and as the Milano sped away, I closed my eyes. I could see the two letter Thanos had written sticking out of my bag.

I reached over and closed it.

* * *

Earth was beautiful. A giant, deep blue orb peppered with greens and whites. Thane was asleep, but I got to watch as the ship maneuvered itself towards the darker portion, away from the sun and into the atmosphere. The entrance was a little rocky, and it woke Thane from his slumber. He joined me in the cockpit, eyes wide as he took everything in. We descended, emerging through the clouds and heading over the dark ocean.

The ships dashboard was identifying everything, new diagrams and maps popping up on the screens. It was all familiar - strikingly familiar - and even after so many years of being in space, I still recognized each location. 

_ Canada. Mexico. The United States.  _

_ Texas. Missouri. Kansas. Nevada. Oklahoma. Georgia. Alabama. Florida. _

We landed in the forest. Animals scattered, and birds ceased their chirping as the massive illuminated the area. It settled, and I cut the engine off and basked in the silence for a few moments. Very slowly the noises came back to life. Birds. Forest creatures. Crickets and buzzing cicadas.

I grabbed my blade, sheathing it at my hip and instructing Thane to stay on the ship. I hopped out first, scanning the area and making sure nobody was lurking around. 

The air was crisp. Smells assaulted my nostrils that I hadn’t experienced in six years. Pine, moss...forest. I wrinkled my nose and took a step forward, rolling my shoulders. 

“Mother?”

I spun. Thane had crawled from the ship, and before I could scold him, the air around us crackled, and a shape emerged from seemingly out of nowhere. I readied by blade, halfway through lunging to take a swipe at the figure.

I stopped.

It was too late by then - the man was able to knock my blade away and pin me to the floor, his own blade materializing, a spear of orange light that hovered dangerously close to my throat. I heard Thane shout, but I extended an arm and yelled back.

“Wait! Thane, stop!”

Miraculously, my son obeyed. My hand scrambled for purchase against a heavy robe, and I grunted, “Stephen Strange!”

“How do you know my name?”

“How did you find us out here? We just landed-”

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

Strange paused. He glanced over to where he’d knocked my weapon away. I could tell that he was checking me for any other hidden weapons - a blaster, maybe, or a knife. When he concluded his search, he eased off me and said, “Stand up,” he nodded towards Thane. “Is that your son?”

“Yeah. He’s a good kid. Won’t cause any trouble,” I reached down to brush dirt from the back of my thighs. “Alright. Which one of us is going first? Mind you, I’ve been on that ship for two days so….jetlag.”

“I know who you are. I just wasn’t expecting you to know who I am.”

“How. How do you-”

Strange gestured to the object wrapped around his neck. I saw the glint of green, and it took me a few moments to remember what color correlated with what stone.

_ Oh. Right. Time. _

_ He saw.  _

“I’ve spent the past few years knowing that something was off with our timeline. When I looked,” Strange glanced up, “I saw  _ you _ .”

“Yeah. It’s a long story.”

“We have time.”


	34. Deliver Us From

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh WOW okay. Well. This le final chapter - I hope you guys enjoy it, and I hope you guys enjoyed this long-ass fic. It's been super fun to write and play with, and I'm quite proud of it, and I'm super grateful that you guys stuck with me through it all so. Anyway, enjoy!

“You’ve really gone above and beyond, Stephen,” I stared at the bracelet, running my fingers over it. “Seriously. Thank you.”

“It’s an easy spell,” I heard Strange call from amongst the many bookshelves. “I advise testing it out for a bit, first. Make sure things look right.”

“I’m sure it’ll look fine. The goal is to give the illusion that he’s fully human when he wears it - no pointed ears or purple skin. Doesn’t sound too difficult,” I heard footsteps, and Strange joined me as I peered out the windows of the New York Sanctorium. “Thane is downstairs with Wong, right?”

“He likes watching Wong practice his spells. The kid picks up on everything. He's remarkably receptive and intelligent."

“You’re surprised? You know who his father is,” I snorted. 

“A mad genius.”

“A major asshole,” I pinched the bridge of my nose, chuckling to myself and shaking my head. “You’re the only one here who’s seen that.”

“I didn’t see everything,” Strange said softly. “Thankfully,” he fell silent, and I heard him exhale sharply before asking rather quickly, “Do you want to go get dinner tomorrow night? My treat-”

“Stephen, we talked about this-”

“It’s not a date. Nothing like that - I just want to take you out. You haven’t been on Earth for seven years. Things have changed and I...staying cooped up inside isn’t good for you.”

I nodded. He wasn’t wrong - it was the implications that always frightened me. My mind, as it always would, wandered to the unopened envelopes that still at deep in my bag. 

_ Thane sure as hell isn’t old enough. And you? _

_ You’re not ready to read what he has to say. Not yet. Not for a while. _

“How about I invite Tony?”

“Good luck. That man never stops working,” I snorted. “Which, I guess, is good for me since I’m going to be working for him.”

“You know you don’t have to-”

“I  _ want  _ to,” I said. I’d refused Tony’s offer at first. The man had listened to my story, taken one look at Thane and the space stone around my neck and, just Thanos had predicted, offered to pay for everything. Forever. “I never worked when I was with Thanos. I never had to. I’d feel... _ weird _ being on Earth and continuing to do that.”

Tony, Stephen, Bruce, and Rhodey were the only ones who knew about Thane and I. I was sure Thor and Loki, to some extent, knew that _ I  _ existed, but last I’d heard they were in Norway, trying to build some sort of home for the remnants of their people. Steve, Natasha, and the others were...somewhere. I’d only gotten a few grunts out of Tony and sad looks from Rhodey and Bruce. 

I’d taken a new name and a new identity, thanks to Tony’s help. Thane and I were staying with Strange at the Sanctorium for now, but I eventually wanted to find a place.

“You know I’m here to help you, right? You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

“I was never scared. I was just...dumb. I fucked around. Flew too close to the sun or whatever. I paid the price,” I sighed. I was appalled when I felt a tear trickle down my face - I wiped it away, but Strange had already seen it. “It still hurts. I’m still angry. But I’ll get over it.”

Feet thundered up the stairs and Thane practically threw himself at me, tugging at my pants. “Mom! Mom - come see this cool spell Mr. Wong showed me!”

The kid was remarkably strong, and had he wanted to, I’m sure he could have just lifted me up and carried me down the stairs himself. I placed my hand on his head and laughed, “Hang on, hang on. I’m taking to Stephen. Give me one second and I’ll be down there. I promise!”

Thane nodded and bounded back down the stairs. 

“So, dinner tomorrow night? Six thirty sharp?”

“Fine, fine, I’m down,” I ducked my head to hide the flush of color that rose to my cheeks. “Where are we going?” 

“I’ll surprise you.”

* * *

I sat on my bed that night and cried.

It wasn’t a full cry - no snot, no heaves. Just tears and soft sniffs and I stared down into my lap, eyes red rimmed. 

I missed him.

I missed that big, purple, bumbling sack of shit. It was like someone had taken a part of me away. He’d taken a part of me away.

I removed my jacket, folding it, before taking off the necklace that contained the space stone. That was the last order of business here. Strange and I had no clue what to really do with the object. I didn’t mind keeping it around my neck - it wasn’t like I could use it, anyway. 

We’d find some use for it, eventually. 

My eyes darted, once more, to my bag. I shuddered, licking my lips. Almost a month had passed. Almost a  month since we’d left, and I hadn’t even touched the piece of paper. I knew reading the letter wasn’t going to make me feel any better. If anything, I’d end up more upset. 

_ Fuck it. _

I slid off my bed and onto the floor, pulling the two letter out from the bag. I saw my name scrawled across one, and just the sight of Thanos’ handwriting made a familiar sense of longing shoot from my brain all the way down to my toes. I still loved him. Even after all this time, after everything. 

_ Fuck you for landing in my goddamn kitchen, Thanos. Fuck you. _

I opened the envelope.


End file.
